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I've seen a councilor and she believes I have it…

I've seen a councilor and she believes I have it…2015-07-07T13:25:40+00:00

The Forums Forums I Just Found Out! I Suspect I Am I've seen a councilor and she believes I have it…

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    I’ve always felt different. I’ve felt that way for 38 years. I’ve had problems in most aspects in my life that can be attributed to ADHD. Through out school I was easily distracted and couldn’t retain much in subject I didn’t like. I always thought I was lazy and unmotivated and had a horrible time figuring out my emotions. I remember looking around the classroom and thinking ‘How do they do it? How do they do their work and pay attention? I always felt inadequate and felt maybe being poor had something to do with it. I eeked by through my high school years. Never had friends up until 11th grade and was absorbed by a group of friends a family member was with. It was great to feel accepted and part of a group. It helped me forget about problems at home and school. It was great for a time. I BARELY graduated. I got an apartment and a couple part time jobs. After a year of that I decided it was time to go to college (only because I thought I was supposed to.) The social aspect was great, academics – not so much. I failed in my first year and went back into the workforce. Bounced around from job to job making stupid mistakes at every one. The trend was; I was great at getting along with my co-workers but, not great at my job. I would get reprimanded here and there. I’d get really down on myself. And again I would look around the room at work and ask myself what is so different about me that everyone can function with ease day to day and I cannot? So, over a couple of years I get married, had a boy, got divorced and met my fiancee. She’s the only person in my life that makes me feel normal. And for a time things were great. I was working in a field I felt useful in (although still making mistakes.) And my “problems” seemed to be less. Over the years I’ve had several jobs and seemed to be ok. I still made mistakes but I could cope with them. I’ve done stupid little things here and there and made my fiancee upset. That’s the part that really gets me down. Our oldest daughter is going to college for psychology and opened my eyes a little to my problem. I looked at forums (especially this one) where people described their symptoms and it was a revelation!! Things that were bottled up in my head for years were put into words. I couldnt believe it. I described to my fiancee that I finally know what is going on with me. So she suggest I see someone about it. Last, year I saw a councilor and she had no doubt I have ADHD. But as a councilor she couldn’t diagnose me. I’ve had to go see a doctor about medication but have not had insurance. Since then we’ve had some ups and downs and I’ve done things some ADHD related, some not. Now, she’s convinced that I’m being lazy and I don’t care. This is upsetting to me but I can understand her side. So, I’m in limbo with this now. I want to move ahead but can’t. So, right now I try to slow down and think things through. Just keep my head down and stay out of trouble. I see how people describe the change when they find the right medication. I know some have depression too, but I dont think thats me. I am generally in a good mood.

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