March 11, 2010 at 1:52 pm #88292
AnonymousInactiveMarch 11, 2010 at 1:52 pmPost count: 14413
So I’ve been having a really difficult time lately with where I’m at in life at the moment. That stuck, limbo period which I have made even more awful and frustrating in my mind. As previous posts may show, I want to be this or that or more successful or more focused, grounded, married, blah blah blah. I keep comparing myself to other people’s version of success and happiness and want to be there too! Mainly because I don’t know where it is I want to be myself, so I’m being swayed quite easily by other people’s lives. It’s quite ridiculous and it’s crazy making! I ask why my brain doesn’t run the same as others! or why do I have to be so super-sensitive, or why did I put myself into so much debt with such impulsive decisions??!!! All the while never accepting who I am!!!! Or where I’m at.. Never relaxing into the process of life or enjoying life! WELLLLL…I was talking to my mother about this last night and she said something very simple that opened my eyes. I am not showing any gratitude for actually being ALIVE!!!! She said you need to start from the foundation of achieving all those things you want…which is being a live, physical body, and start being grateful for the fact that you are ALIVE!!!! PERIOD! Eyes blinking, hearing in tact, able to sense things fully! Everything else is considered gravy…and without being alive, you aren’t even able to do any of the things you want to do!!!!! haha…makes sense! SO if anyone’s having a difficult time being stuck and constantly focusing on it day in and day out….ground yourself in the idea of gratitude. And thank the universe, god, higher power (or whoever and whatever you want to thank) for waking up and being a live…saying I’M GOING TO HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!!! It will shift the negative energy to positive energy and change your perceptions of what life and living is all about. Just thought I’d share that with everyone I know it’s a struggle sometimes! I am very thankful for this website!!!! Have a great day everyone!!!!!
LianneREPORT ABUSEMarch 11, 2010 at 2:51 pm #93091
AnonymousInactiveMarch 11, 2010 at 2:51 pmPost count: 14413
Lianne, here is a talk you might find interesting:
You are definitely onto something with how much difference an attitude and outlook adjustment can make. Thanks for sharing this.REPORT ABUSEMarch 11, 2010 at 4:01 pm #93092
veronicaMemberMarch 11, 2010 at 4:01 pmPost count: 121
“I keep comparing myself to other people’s version of success and happiness and want to be there too! “
there’s your problem. don’t compare yourself to others, that’s their journeys NOT YOURS. my friend heard someone once say “never let your current circumstances determine your future outcome”, she had me write it out in fancy lettering for her and it’s now a permanent tattoo on her.
my fav… “all we are is a result of what we have thought” ~buddha
i know from personal experience that it is difficult to stay positive when you feel that you have so many failures in your life. instead of dwelling on those, celebrate them. be thankful that you have made those mistakes. and that you have the opportunity to learn from them. then, practice the alternative (the better) decision that you feel should be made in those instances. celebrate everything.
i’ve always thought that everything happens for a reason and certain people are in our lives at certain times for a purpose. be grateful for those around you. celebrate your unique gift. you have it for a reason. you now have to learn how to use it.
here are some sites that you might like to help you with your gratitude new self.
and i enjoyed reading eckhart tolle’s books. his teachings are those on taking an intrapersonal communication. learning about one’s self allows you to be more in tune with the world around you. http://www.eckharttolle.com/home/books/
and if you are able to hold your attention long enough (my friend sent me this):
Did you know that there is an effective and
an ineffective way to express gratitude?
Unfortunately, the ineffective way is far more common.
This is gratitude that you express that is
related to what is happening in your life right now.
It is closely related to the gratitude and appreciation
we learn to express as children (i.e. to say thanks) and
that is probably why it is often the default and why
so many people get stuck here.
Ineffective gratitude includes things such as:
* your health
* your relationships
* your material possessions
* your friends and family
* a nice vacation
I am not saying that there is anything wrong with this
form of gratitude. All I am saying is that it is not
nearly as powerful as the more effective way you will
Often the problem with the above form of gratitude is
that it comes from a place of lack. If you have ever
expressed gratitude while thinking “at least… I am
healthy, or at least I have a great family” then you
know what I mean.
This form of gratitude is extremely week because it is
based on the present circumstances. In other words,
this form of gratitude is conditional. It makes it
sound that you are grateful “only if you have good
health, a great relationship, etc.”
Unfortunately, conditional gratitude fails to activate
the law of attraction. The universe does not respond
to conditional requests.
The second form of gratitude is complete in that it is
a celebration of life itself, for all the experiences
you are having. One other key difference is this.
Effective gratitude comes from an underlying attitude
vs. a temporary focus on one item or thing to be
With practice, this holistic form of gratitude can
become second nature. When it does, the law of
attraction will flow far more easily into your life.
The more powerful form of gratitude includes items
* your life
* this awesome planet
* for being who you are
* for future events
* for problems, challenges, and hardships
* for your mistakes
* for your mind
* for your freedom
In other words, you become grateful for this amazing
journey of your life regardless of what happens and
where it takes you because you know that it is just
right for you and that everything is happening for a
When you are expressing effective gratitude, fear and
loss disappear. There is no focus on any lack and when
you reach this state, that is when abundance can truly
start flowing into your life.
Being grateful for what you have in your life (your
health, relationships, etc.) has its place. But when
you start feeling truly grateful for everything that is
happening in your life and open your heart, you will be
amazed at how quickly the universe will start to answer.REPORT ABUSEMarch 11, 2010 at 4:05 pm #93093
purlgurlMemberMarch 11, 2010 at 4:05 pmPost count: 44
Another TED speaker (Glenna is actually an acquaintance of mine, and she is awesome):
“…But no matter who’s up today or over the next three, I defy any TED talk be as memorable, powerful or thought-provoking than Glenna Fraumeni’s six-minute profound lesson on perspective delivered yesterday at TEDyou.
Glenna is a 24-year-old med student from Canada who last year was diagnosed with Stage 4 brain cancer last Christmas and given three years to live. Silent night, indeed.
But rather than wallow in the injustice or create a frivolous “bucket list” of things to do and places to see before dying (“Why do I need a picture of me waving in front of the pyramids?” she asked), Glenna has decided to simply–as they said in the ’60s–keep on keeping on. She goes to school to pursue her degree, continues to help others in her job, and tries to live each day with a sense of normalcy, accepting the inevitable but bravely denying its power to throw her off her path.
There wasn’t a dry eye in the house as she stumbled with her opening a couple of times, calmly asked to start over, and then proceeded to teach everyone a much-needed lesson we all soon forget too damn often.
Her simple closing words still echo endlessly:
“I know I probably won’t be here Christmas 2011.
But, more importantly, where will YOU be?”REPORT ABUSEMarch 11, 2010 at 4:46 pm #93094
JimC.ParticipantMarch 11, 2010 at 4:46 pmPost count: 165
DulcisMinutiae: how does one get your recommended video to run in English?http://www.ted.com/talks/srikumar_rao_plug_into_your_hard_wired_happiness.html
jcREPORT ABUSEMarch 11, 2010 at 4:49 pm #93095
AnonymousInactiveMarch 11, 2010 at 4:49 pmPost count: 14413
JimC.: the website on which the video is hosted is in Danish but once you play the video, the speaker talks in English.REPORT ABUSEMarch 11, 2010 at 4:56 pm #93096
AnonymousInactiveMarch 11, 2010 at 4:56 pmPost count: 14413
wow!!!! I certainly feel grateful for these posts I know it’s been a problem comparing…and I know how powerful the law of attraction is for sure! I really appreciate the feedback on here! I watched the video Dulcis (at work bahaha!) but it was great It’s all so true! and thank you veronica and Purlgurl for the posts! It’s unbelievable about Glenna and tragic but I suppose maybe she came to earth to teach people lessons! And she did! A beautiful story of strength and courage that’s for sure. I have never heard of this TED website so I’m excited to check it out some more!!!REPORT ABUSEMarch 11, 2010 at 4:58 pm #93097
AnonymousInactiveMarch 11, 2010 at 4:58 pmPost count: 14413
And veronica I read all of the post and it’s awesome Thanks so much!!! I keep flip flopping in and out of the conditioned way of thinking. Knowing that happiness isn’t defined in job titles, etc…I think my motivation has just been to get out of my debt struggle which is definitely lack thinking! I’m starting a plan of action to eliminate that, and it’s going to start with gratitude thinking!!!REPORT ABUSEMarch 11, 2010 at 6:40 pm #93098
JimC.ParticipantMarch 11, 2010 at 6:40 pmPost count: 165
DulcisMinutiae: thanks, pardon my impatience. jcREPORT ABUSEMarch 11, 2010 at 7:05 pm #93099
AnonymousInactiveMarch 11, 2010 at 7:05 pmPost count: 14413March 11, 2010 at 10:09 pm #93100
AnonymousInactiveMarch 11, 2010 at 10:09 pmPost count: 14413
Lianne, you are quickly becoming my favourite poster. And there are a lot of great posters in here! Look at what you’ve started.
Watched the video that DulcisMinutiae posted … twice. The first time I got distracted watching the people in the audience. Notice the young woman with the short curly blonde hair, green blouse? ADD. Definitely ADD. And the lovely woman in the front row, dark hair drawn straight back and up, white blouse with grey skirt? Not ADD.
Which one do you think would be the most fun to hang out with?REPORT ABUSEMarch 12, 2010 at 2:45 pm #93101
Patte RosebankParticipantMarch 12, 2010 at 2:45 pmPost count: 1517
I have tremendous gratitude for the fact that many a screw-up at least gives me another great story to tell.
For example, in January, I went to Vegas for the first time. While there, I got on a big TV game show, won a hundred bucks for knowing a big word, and afterwards, was walking back to the hotel along the Strip, and feeling great.
Suddenly, a rather agitated female security guard rushed up to me, and informed me that I had a 3-foot-long “tail” of toilet paper hanging out the back of my pants, and that people had been taking photos and laughing at me. I realized that it must have somehow gotten caught there when I was changing out of my costume in the restroom at the Tropicana, 45 minutes earlier, and that this probably wouldn’t stay in Vegas, because a hell of a lot of people had photographed or videoed it during those 45 minutes.
What to do…?
Your average person would have been mortified. I, however, burst out laughing, tossed away the TP, and scampered off on my merry way. The poor security guard looked at me as though I’d escaped from somewhere.
But, hey, I got a great story out of it. And now I can truly say that I got big laughs on the Vegas Strip!REPORT ABUSEMarch 12, 2010 at 3:32 pm #93102
veronicaMemberMarch 12, 2010 at 3:32 pmPost count: 121
rhawser: indeed! that’s why i put it on here. oh! and i LOVE your avatar pic. that is my absolute favorite pixar short.REPORT ABUSEMarch 12, 2010 at 6:13 pm #93103
AnonymousInactiveMarch 12, 2010 at 6:13 pmPost count: 14413
aww!!!! Well thanks rhawser!!! That made my day! And there are definitely some great posters on here…it’s a great learning tool this website!!! and it’s so great to see other people experiencing similar triumphs and struggles…we can all learn from each other!!REPORT ABUSEMarch 12, 2010 at 7:25 pm #93104
AnonymousInactiveMarch 12, 2010 at 7:25 pmPost count: 14413
LOL @ Larynxa. Good story
Cool! Thanks veronica. Yah, I chose that avatar years ago. It’s a picture of my brain looking out at the world. LOL
You’re very welcome Lianne.REPORT ABUSE
Just "Be-ing" – Gratitude2010-03-11T13:52:14+00:00
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