Just Breathe

[Anonymous]

I saw ADD & Loving it and cried/laughed the whole time watching it. It was the 1st time I felt that I was not alone. The next night in the shower I cried nonstop finally understanding that I tried my whole life and when I gave 110%, it was never 100% of what my parents, family, teachers, or partners wanted. I was angry that I had punished myself for so long.

Lately I have now felt more aware with me. It is a nice feeling, but I frighten myself. I have been in an argument with my partner for the last few days (because I made a big deal of a project I worked on and it did not go the way I wanted, gave 110% but ended up with 85%) and I thought I was “in control” the whole time.

I figured that I have been trying to deny what is still going on, I tell myself I can change that or I can do this, but now I am struggling with trying to grasp I can’t, at least the way I have been. My partner is being very supportive and after 8yrs he understands the “why” to what I do.

Right now, I am having a struggle with slowing down. I can hear my partner say slow down, and I can feel the anxiety and rush, but I can’t slow down… if I do it is only for seconds but then it comes rushing back again.

I did take medication, but I had some issues with anxiety and I could not be around people. I felt most comfortable working on a project focusing and blocking out the world. I ended up no longer taking the medication 6months later. I just realized I sounded like a person in the “You mean I am not lazy, stupid or Crazy” book.

Sorry, I have as you can tell a few points here… sigh.  Thanks for listening

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[laddybug3]

I caught the last ten minutes and wished I could have watched the whole thing.

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[Anonymous]

laddybug you can purchase ADD and Loving it?! on this website just go to shop it is well worth the investment I recorded the program when it aired on PBS but they have a few bonus extras on the CD…

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[Anonymous]

Jvangey- You know your motives; you know what you want to achive; most of all, you know how you want your work to be recieved; now allow yourself to LEARN something new… how to appreciate your efforts independent from how it was recieved, that is to say learn how to enjoy what you are doing.I find that I am more prone to frustration when I am too focused on the “destination’ insted of learning to enjoy the “journey”… sometimes you have to work at having fun… good luck.

Kazuo

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