Just getting started, but can't do meds, Ideas?

[Anonymous]

I was recently diagnosed as both Inattentive and Hyperactive. I am struggling with tasks at work, and keeping focused on my homework (I’m in school part time) and keeping up with prep for my volunteer position.

Good news is my husband and I are trying to start our family, bad news is pregnancy and meds don’t mix.

Any ideas on where/how I could start trying to find treatments, tools and techniques?

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[Ivriniel]

Well, a lot depends on how your individual symptoms manifest, but if organization is an issue for you, I’d suggest looking into hiring a coach or organizer who has experience dealing with ADHD.

Starting a family is a big change in your life, and it would probably be very helpful to work with someone who can help you prepare for that transition. Better to come up with some organizational systems to help you deal with an infant’s needs now, rather than when you are sleep deprived and up to your eyeballs in baby gear.

If that’s not something you can afford, there are good books out there on organizing for ADHD. I blanking on the name of the book I really like at the moment, but if I remember, I’ll post it later.

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[Anonymous]

Ginger,

I am seeing a social worker for ADD, and the best advice she has given me is to simply stay in a PRESENT state of mind.

When I’m in a rut, I take a deep breath and ask myself “What is the best thing I can do for myself at this moment?” It really helps me stop dwelling on my past, and to stop worrying about what I need to do later.

So, when you’re eating lunch, worried about all the things you have to do for the rest of the day, finish lunch first.

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[Anonymous]

Ginger:

I’ve raised three kids and a grandchild. As other folk say ADHD is genetic and so are kids (duh:-). One of your jobs, as parent, is to demonstrate, by example, how to live. The kids will appear to ignore everything you say, anyway:-). Should some of your kids inherit significant ADHD traits, this is doubly important. Don’t freak out. The example set by your pursuit of effective treatments, tools, and techniques is just as important as actually finding them. Hang in there and enjoy the journey,

—

Before treatments, tools, and techniques, there needs to be knowledge. Without knowledge, how can you evaluate remedies? The journey has just begun. It has begun with the knowledge that you share these traits with a lot of other people and you are not alone. I particularly like the books by Dr. Hallowell.

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My experience is that kids record your behaviors and judgments all the time – even before they can talk and walk. You will find this out after they reach 30 (no joke). There is no such thing as a perfect parent.

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My family tree:

– formally diagnosed with ADHD: self, 2 kids and two grand-kids

strongly suspected, based on family stories told by more than one relative

– my mother, her father, and his father.

What are the odds that ADHD is genetic? What about your family? If they survived and thrived, how did they do it?

===

Tim: roger that!

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[Anonymous]

I had discovered one of the best non medical treatments for ADD is to start a self training course. There is an old saying – How do you eat a cow – One piece at a time. It’s strange but absolutely true. Before I was diagnosed with ADD I discovered I had a tendency to leap to the finish line before I even got started. This type of impulsive behaviour had gotten me into deep trouble. I discover the goals would become much easier to achieve once I start writing them down. Each day I focus on the steps involve in each stage of these goals. I wouldn’t put a time limit on the detail since I know it will only drive me to distractions. Once I reach and finish the step I reward myself. Before I know it the main goal will be within reach. This exercise had given me a tool to formulate and concentrate. It allow me to be creative and yet at the same time learning to become organize. How to make order from chaos is my motto. I hope this helps.

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[Anonymous]

I completely understand your situation and agree that medication would not be a good thing for your child. I sincerely hope that if you in fact have ADHD, that it isn’t manifested in your child.

I know that my son was ADHD and some of the day care workers thought that my ex-wife had it and that our son had ‘inherited’ from her. It wasn’t until well beyond our divorce that I found out that I am ADHD myself.

In my career with the military since 2003 was nothing less than a living hell, every single day. I was on probation a number of times, was written up as a recorded warning, had hosts of verbal reprimands; however, regardless of the ‘negative consequences’ that faced me, I could not make the necessary changes on my own since it appeared that the harder I tried the worse things got.

Well, I am not about to try to tell you that medication is the ‘best’ way to go but for me, and me alone, it seems to have been at least part of the answer which has allowed me to make some serious progress in a positive direction. With medication and coaching things have really turned around and my life is changing rapidly for the better.

There are a multitude of things that have changed in the last few months, namely how I function at work as well as my relationship at home with my new wife and step-children. I have developed more patience, tolerance and acceptance of those whom I found to be extremely aggravating and disruptive. My view point has become so much more compassionate and understanding.

There is no way under the sun that I would dream of advising you in anyway because I am not an expert in anyway. What I do suggest is getting assessed by a professional to verify if you do have ADHD or ADD and then take it from there.

You might find that only coaching will be enough and prove to be the best method. Then again, you might find that both medication and coaching will be the ideal situation. Either way, the choice is entirely yours and yours alone. Only you and your doctor can decide what direction is best for you and your situation.

I offer my sincere best wishes for you and your family. It can only get better and things will ultimately improve for you and for your situation.

Distracted66

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[Anonymous]

Really eloquent and sincere responses here. The only thing I can think to suggest is exercise.

One thing you may want to try (like you’re not busy enough;) is meditative yoga. I know, I know, it sounds like an idea suggested by a granola (organic, that is) eating, card-carrying hippe. Exercise is probably one of the better forms of non-medicinal treatment to help deal with the negative symptoms of ADD/ADHD. There’s a growing amount of info coming out around that.

Since you’ll soon be pregnant, my guess is your choices of strenuous or even moderate exercise may narrow a bit. The thing about yoga is that it’s based on slow paced movements, control and personal comfort levels – and believe it or not, there are some yoga studios (and home exercises) that are tailor-made for pregnant women. I think it’s called Prenatal Yoga or something like that. For the sake of ADD/ADHD, yoga can be quite useful to develop techniques for relaxing and focusing in a way that’s healthy for the mind and the body.

Best wishes to you in finding a treatment that works Ginger. I’m sure you will.

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[Anonymous]

Big Bump on Loafer77’s reply… Yoga and mediation are excellent ideas… strangely enough I have been involved in both but (and I blame this on ADHD) I didn’t even think of them… Loafer77, now you got me looking at things I haven’t looked at for a long time… granola, tree-hugging, and carrying a card…. LOL… seriously, I am now looking into beginning yoga and mediation again… they served to help me stay grounded, stable and carry with me a solace that I have not felt for some time.

Thanks again….

Distracted66

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[laddybug3]

Take a five minute break from what you’re doing. Take a few breaths and give yourself a pep talk. Buy an organizer, and a notebook. Write what you have to do in the organizer then use the notebook to figure out what time you need to get stuff done. I do this the day before. Always adjust time too. Knitting also helps me focus. I go to things early from 10 to 15 minutes to sit and knit. Talk to your professor and ask if you need extenuation. Take 10 to 15 minute breaks when you get stress out about homework. I like to take a walk, read, knit, write, or do mindless activity.

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[Author]

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