Just told my new boss

[wolfshades]

My old boss and I had discussed the fact that I had ADHD, and he was understanding and positive about it (which really helps, believe me!) but I was a little wary about telling my new boss. I figured “if it’s not affecting my job, why should I tell her?” But the fact was, it was affecting my job, despite my best efforts. I’m not on meds yet (long story there – but I hope to get some soon), so I still struggle with the noise in my head, and many many MANY thoughts that crowd around up there all the time. All of which serves to keep me off focus.

So I figured I’d better just have a frank discussion with her. This is sort of how it went. (I had called her for another reason).

Boss: “so, are we good? Is there anything else you want to talk about?”

Me: “……well….yes, I think there is. Do you know much about ADHD? or ADD?”

Boss: “sure. I’ve heard of it.”

Me. “Well, I just thought you should know that I’ve been diagnosed with it.”

Boss: “REALLY! Wow. That’s a surprise.”

Me: “Yeah, well, I struggled with projects and stuff for years before finally realizing that what I was going through wasn’t normal.”

Boss: “Yet, in the meetings I noticed you talk fast. I just figured you were high energy or something.”

Me: *laughing* “Well you see that’s just it. It’s not that I’m high energy at all. It’s that I have about a million thoughts in my head, which all seem important. And so I’m worried I won’t get them out of me on time before I forget one or two…”

Boss: “you do?”

Me: “yup. So what you see is me kind of panicking.”

Boss: “oh. Wow. Well, how can I help you?”

Me: “I don’t know. I just wanted you to be aware of it. I don’t ever want to use my ADD as an excuse for anything. Not at all. It’s just good that you’re aware. That’s it, really”

Boss: “maybe I can help you keep on track when there’s a project due or something”

Me: “I never thought of that. That’s a great idea. Yes, I’d really appreciate that. Thanks!”

Boss: “no problem. I’m really glad you told me.”

Me: “me too.

So there you have it. A real positive experience. The brightest part of that conversation was when she asked what she could do to help. That kind of question is just priceless.

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[Bryan]

That’s a great story. I have a similar one when I mentioned it to my boss. Eventually we found some great time management courses that were offered by Franklin Covey. I highly recommend them because it’s not so much managing time (even though the course was called time management) but it’s more like managing life with a sense of direction. It makes it much easier to us ADD folks when you take a clock out of the picture for just a moment (at least in my opinion). It was so helpful that I now teach my co-workers some of the material I learned.

Good luck!

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[wolfshades]

Thanks Bryan. Yes – I agree with you. That course was excellent for folk like us. I took it long before even getting a hint that I had ADHD. I just knew I wasn’t getting stuff done, so this course proved to be an amazing tool for as you say, managing life. Since then, I’ve used other tools similar to the Covey one to ensure my life doesn’t go off the rails. Writing appointments and tasks down *right when they make themselves known to me* is so important – and having an iPad (with its calendar function) handy all the time means I can allow my freakishly fickle brain the breathing room it needs.

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[Bryan]

Great to know that others are having success! If you feel there are any other tools out there like Covey, let me know. I recently was able to get my android phone synced with my outlook calendar which really helps. Considering I can’t stay in a seat for more then an hour at a time and always moving around, I love having a mobile device that syncs with my desk computer to buzz and remind my “freakishly fickle brain” (lol…I like that saying) that I need to be doing something or be somewhere.

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[Anonymous]

That’s great!

When I told my boss I have ADHD it was rather a relief. I was worried he would fire me or act wierd but he just laughed and said that he had it as well. We talked more about it and it only made us understand each other ever better.

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[2bananas]

I really liked my job but was told they could get a younger person to do twice the work I was doing while trying to learn new computer systems. I have never been diagnosed adhd although I have a son who was diagnosed at 2 yrs old with an extreme case of adhd and put on meds. My memory is not good and I was in a high tech controlled work environment. I felt caged and unable to figure a way out. I was fired. One of many such stories Im sure, but Im glad to hear that there are some cases where things work out positively. Just felt the need to share.

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[wolfshades]

@lexymarin: isn’t that great? So cool to meet a fellow ADD traveller; especially when he’s your boss.

@2bananas: really sorry to hear about that. Might be worth getting checked out yourself, if only to rule out ADHD as a factor in your story. Or to rule it in. I’ve spoken to a lot of people who realized after going through job after job, that there’s a specific type of job that actually works better for them – something which fits better for them, and their ADHD. The condition has its pluses: many of us end up doing more creative things, because that’s what we’re strong at.

Anyway, thanks for sharing your story. Good luck!

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[wolfshades]

@Bryan: I think these devices are just made for folk like us. I really do. I carry my iPad with me everywhere now, and don’t have to worry about missing appointments (and yes, I’ve missed a few meetings when I’ve forgotten to record them).

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[Anonymous]

Google had to have been invented for and by AD/HD’ers. The ability to share your Google Calendar with your spouse and family, and see their’s can take a huge load off if they are willing to help by putting things in there. Google Docs lets you keep notes and list handy, and although a PPA (personal pocket assistant) like an iPhone or Android can introduce even more distractions, the ability to keep things organized is fantastic as long as you set reminders.

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[billd]

I told my boss – and handed him the transcript of the Rick and Patrick “documentary”.

One of his first reactions was “do we need to go back over your goals and job description to perhaps revise things to take this into account?”

Not a negative “gee, maybe you can’t do your job” – it was more of a “do we need to revise things to help”.

I feel relieved, he was very serious about it and said “this goes no further than this room, and I won’t ask another thing unless you volunteer it”.

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[Anonymous]

I’m in a job that does not play against my ADHD tendencies. I work in The Mental Health Field and I like it! I am feeling hopeless for the future as it applies to my career. I have tried to go into nursing schoo but the math was an issue. I stay in my job because its safe and I feel trapped!!!

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[billd]

Then how about going into one of the therapies – I worked at On With Life, a head injury facility. WOW, there’s something to get and keep your attention, plus you are helping people. Even though I was just in charge of the buildings and grounds, security, maintenance, and the communications systems, it was totally interesting to watch the music therapist, cognative therapist, occupational therapist, speech therapist – all of ’em at work. They needed nurses, therapists, aids, you name it. I suspect there’s a discipline there somewhere that might work out for some ADD folks. I’d still be there had it not been for a totally tyranical boss who wanted to run things like the military. I was second only to the president and CEO, and the year I left, they turned over half the 80 staffers that worked there (due mostly to him)

I was management – decided I no longer wanted to be management. When I was helping my staff keep up by going out and running the John Deere mower, I got my tail chewed royally. I thought fine – I’d rather keep my hands in it than sitting back barking orders and if I can’t help my staff when they fall behind, this isn’t for me, so I left.

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[Anonymous]

-billd and others — I love hearing about this sort of thing. It is great of your boss to ask to help, and to hold it in confidence! Congrats. At the stage I am at right now I am too too paranoid to do this. I actually think my boss realizes this anyway, just me being freaky.

-Inlike, I started in I.T. because I am curious insatiably. After about 25 years in it, I feel burnt out and trapped to. Trapped because I can’t concentrate or stay on task long enough to re-train and re-certify so I could change things, aka burned out, etc. I know logically we make our own reality – but like a campy Sci-fi movie, I feel stuck in amber (see Fringe).

– Lifestyle changes are coming. I am on gmail, and just fired up the Calender. Put in my next conseling appointment – yay!

:: I know I am depressed, and struggling. But (I said but – sorry Dr. J), but in sharing and keeping company with those like me I hope to know myselft better and pray that my words of sharing may carry a seed to someone – If I can focus on the positive for just a milli second!

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[phoenixmagicgirl]

My boss has been with our company for 6 months and when I told him I had ADHD he smiled and said he understood because he has it too. It was a huge relief to find an adult who has it! He’s been very accommodating, as he knows first hand the experience I’m going through. It’s nice to have that deeper interpersonal relationship and communication with him now that I know he has it too. He and I can joke around and josh each other in that sort of thing, it’s good to laugh about it,IMO.

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[Patte Rosebank]

@phoneixmagic, that’s wonderful!

Of course, it doesn’t mean you won’t sometimes drive each other crazy with your ADHD symptoms, too!

;-P

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