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@ CurlyMoe, who said “In Jr and Sr Highschool I was voted the girl most likely to end up a bag lady”:
In high school I was voted “Most Quiet.” Clearly they never met me on the Internet! Course, that was before there WAS such a thing as the Internet….
But it’s true, I was, and there’s this lovely photo of me in the yearbook accompanying my title. Maybe they thought I looked pensive, but I can tell that they captured me at the height of my depression. What a beautiful memory to carry around, ah, yes.
I find all this funny because one of those ADD quiz questions is always “Do you talk a lot?” and I laugh, and I check the NO box, because in public I’m an absolute clam.
And then I get on the Internet and it’s Blah, blah, blah….
As you can all see!
I guess I’m what you’d call “circumstantially talkative.” Probably true for a lot of folks, but it can be rather dramatic in me. Get me started, and you’ll be sorry, and not just for all the effort you expended in the process!
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Quizzical, About the maths thing you said. It was interesting to see that my son, who has always been pretty good at maths, fell apart on the maths part of his ADHD test. Because it was verbal and he was not allowed paper. It really showed up his poor executive functioning (working memory for this part of the test).
And I chickened out yet again
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The psychologist talked all about behavioural therapy and stuff, and I felt that if I brought the subject up, she would just tell me to do the same things we are going to get my son to do. I was also very concerned by her “he can do it if he really wants to” belief. I don’t think that she quite has a handle on the brain of an ADDer. Granted, she has some great strategies to help, and I she is great at her job, but that one statement really put me off, because at the moment, I am struggling with things I really want to do, not just the housework. I am thinking of talking to the doctor who helped with my daughter’s anxiety issues. She was really easy to talk to and quite perceptive. I would untimately need to go to a doctor anyway for a referral to a psychiatrist as they are the only ones who can prescribe meds for adult ADHD here, so I may as well start there. Maybe….
Hooray, KrazyKat! Way to go! Now get that referral and make that appointment!
Motivation is such a huge topic for me, I don’t even know where to begin, but I’ve always had difficulties getting myself to do things. There is a certain degree of truth to a statement like “you can do it if you really want to,” but for someone like me the game is “How do I make myself want to do the things that are good for me?” Sure, I really really want the RESULT – a clean house – and I want that every day, but somehow things have to get to some certain point for me to take action – it’s just gotten TOO disgusting, or there are people coming over, or whatever, because what I DON’T want is to actually go to the EFFORT of cleaning. Which leaves me wondering about the people with the clean houses – do they actually want to clean, or are they just able to see down the road to that satisfaction of a clean house clearly enough to pull out the vacuum cleaner and suck it up?
REPORT ABUSE There are those rare days when I actually want to clean, but it never lasts – so, yeah, I can clean if I really want to, but 99% of the time, I just don’t get that want-to feeling.
My lack of motivation is one of the major reasons I’d like a diagnosis and then to try medication. Like you, I have always wondered about what motivates those who keep their houses clean and tidy. I find I sometimes don’t even have motivation to do things I enjoy. I love sewing. The satisfaction of making something myself, as well as being able to tailor it to my needs and choose the fabric and style I want, is very satisfying. But I struggle to get started most of the time. My head is full of ideas, but someone turns my brain off when I get up to act on my ideas! I’d love to know where that switch is, so I can turn my brain back on again lol. I also feel so tired so much of the time. If I try going to bed earlier, I end up waking early and tossing and turning with a racing mind till it’s daylight, even though I am still tired. It’s almost like my brain acts in reverse, being busy when I am resting or trying to sleep, and turning off when I go to act on something
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So true, the way the ideas seem to evaporate! Although these days I find that things go out of my head when I sit down – especially at the computer –
REPORT ABUSE – and then when something forces me up out of the chair (“Hey, it’s lunchtime already!”), I’ll take about three steps and then have all kind of a-HA! moments (“Oh, I had that phone call I was going to make!”). Something about the moving feet gets my mind moving. And, yep, I’m a night owl too. Hubby’s always telling me “just go to bed earlier.” If ONLY! Never ever works, and when it does, I end up sleeping even later, as if my body’s saying “Hey, sleep – I remember that; let’s have a whole lot of it!”
I find I have days where everything catches up and I have to sleep. I find it extremely frustrating to wake up feeling tired. And if I have something bothering me I will be lucky to get much sleep at all so I feel even worse. My thoughts have been full of ADHD stuff recently
REPORT ABUSE and sleep has suffered. But now my son has been diagnosed, things have calmed down a bit there and I have slept better. Going to bed late works better if I don’t have to get up for anything in the morning. Then my mind doesn’t intrude on my sleep so much (worrying what time it is, whether I’ll get back to sleep before the alarm goes off, should I go to the loo now or will it wake me up too much, should I look at the clock or will it stop me going back to sleep if I know what the time is, what should I tell the school about my son’s ADHD, I have to do x y and z today and I’d better not forget it, I really need to get back to sleep, blah, blah, blah……). Ugh!!
Yep, the whole “Right of passage” process has almost been left behind in our culture. It’s out there to find of course, not gone, just almost forgotten. I’ve been finding it more n more these days. This site, these people. Men and the Women too. It all adds up to me and my friends growing up into real contributing men in the world. We’re all father’s as well as son’s. Brothers in the ADHD adventure.
Many years ago I got interested in this. Got distracted… Shocking I know…
Been playen music?
Thanks for giving me the correct name. I’ve been dealing with it better since I’ve gotten a bit of a grip on the ADHD obstacle.
Andropause, the next phase of my development… Not just a challenge or hurdle. An adventure in compassion. Compassion for each-other, and then our selves. Self last, but not least.
How have you dealt with yours? where are you in it?
PS, been thinking about posting my facebook address here. The gut instinct says “think about that a while youngster” so I obey.
Taking piano lessons if the lady gives me a good price. Decided to pick up the Guitar much more seriously the last few days. Just a coincidence that it’s the same time as the new medz start. Not knowing how to read or write music is the only thing holding me back from a stage. And tons of practice of course…
Boing boing,,, oh! forgot to take that last dose of Methylphenidate. That’s why I wanted the long acting stuff. My phone alarm failed me today… true story. I’ll fix that. n remember to take the dose at right time tomorrow.
Less impulsive tomorrow. Heck, this is progress huh? It’s freaky when we mellow out. I could get used to this… Even “love it”, kinda like that DVD I watched almost a dozen time many moons ago. ADD and LOVEING IT?? ya gotta be kiddin me fella!!!
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Mild ADD? Or Midlife Crisis? Wondering/Obsessing, and in Need of a Pep Talkquizzical2011-05-10T16:42:23+00:00
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