My ADD is really bad lately!!

[distractedmomma]

I haven’t started meds yet, but I’m really anxious for treatment. Even writing a message on this board is difficult right now. By the time I have a thought ready to type in my mind, it’s gone!

Anyway, yesterday I was driving somewhere new with 2 not so close friends. I was frustrated because my “friends” was reacting strongly to something I said and it was probably because it came out wrong. The frustration of not being able to express myself combined with trying to drive somewhere I’ve never been (and constantly taking the wrong road and being picked on for it) was making me feel like I was going to blow up and kick everyone out of the vehicle.

I had to end the conversation abruptly and switch to something else to calm myself down. Although the people in the car knew I probably had ADD (yes I shared this info with them…not sure why really), one of them kept getting on my case about my behavior (me being stubborn, distracted, etc).

You see we were talking about my first time shooting a wedding for money. I was doing it for a friend and frankly, if she were to decide not to pay me…I wouldn’t care because this was my first time and I really didn’t know if I was going to do a good job (especially after learning that I might have ADD). Still, the couple was happy with their engagement pics and they insisted on paying me right away (which I refused…for fear that they may not like the wedding pics). Anyway, this made my photographer friend angry because he insists on payment before the wedding. He asks me how I intend on running a business this way and that’s when I stopped him saying ” I’m not a professional photographer yet!!!”

I think years of let downs and failure has made it impossible for me to reach for my dreams. I love photography, I know I could be awesome at it, but my ADD makes me nervous. What if I forget a booking?, get distracted during a wedding shoot? Leave memory cards behind and lose them along with all the pics I took of clients?

All this goes on in my head as my “mentors” try to teach me the ropes and I panic. I keep postponing the day I decide to go pro. HELP!

Sorry for jumping from one thing to the other. It’s really the best I can do today

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[Geoduck]

My ADHD seems to fluctuate during times of stress or new adventures or if a comorbity (I gots ’em) kicks in. Mostly, I can deal, but if something bad happens, or if people are critical, or if I’m depressed, or simply exhausted, the ADHD gets a bazillion times worse. It sometimes even gets so bad that the medication becomes almost useless…almost. It still helps clear the fog I have without it, but focus, not so much at those times.

My theory is that if you have ADHD, it’s bad enough. Even without it, though, stress can make you distracted and short tempered. Add having ADHD onto that, and any of that normal distraction of stress just tops on to your already present ADHD issues, and so it makes it tons worse.

Oh, and looks like your a mom, too. Me too. Got 3. That wasn’t the placenta in your afterbirth. That was your brain. LOL! Seriously, though. Talk about a constant source of stress, good or bad, kids are a good source of that. The worry, management, hyper-vigilance, and the hormones. My girls are worth it, but it definitely can have an effect.

Make sense? I’m actually going through a bit of a rough patch, myself, so my ADHD sucks doubly, right now. UGH!!!

What you might try while you wait for your meds is getting a good walk/run/bike ride in, when you can. Exercise does some good for me, anyway. Those endorphins are great. Finding time to do it is another matter.

Virtual hugs your way. (((HUGS)))

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[Patte Rosebank]

Distractedmomma, besides my “real” job in Front-of-House at a live theatre, I also do freelance work as a performer, voice artist, and costume designer. Here’s what I’ve learned:

Professionalism depends more on your attitude than on payment. I’ve been in shows that were paying, but about as unprofessional as you could get. I’ve also been in some non-paying shows that were run as though they were full-Equity productions. So approach each job as though you were a professional.

I know paperwork is kryptonite to the ADHD brain, but you really have to stay on top of it, as you go along. If you let it build up into a huge pile, it’ll be that much harder for you to do it.

Get all contracts in writing. They should clearly define exactly what you’re going to do, how much it will cost, the delivery date, and your policy on refunds (especially for cancellations on short notice). They should also state who owns the rights to your work, and how it can be used. You don’t want to do all that work taking the photos, and then have the client use them for some sort of marketing purposes, without crediting you and paying you royalties. Or get reprints from some other source without your knowledge or consent.

You should also scope out the place ahead of time to plan positions and lighting needs. And be sure to arrive well ahead of the start of the event! As for remembering it, use a written notebook and/or a Smartphone and a timer (to make sure you leave with plenty of time to get there) and write it on the side of your hand, to really make sure you remember!

As for payment, there are two ways to approach it. Both involve setting up a separate bank account, just to hold any payments in trust (untouched) until the client signs off that the work is completed to their satisfaction, and they release you from any further obligation, now or in the future. That way, in the unlikely event you have to refund their money, you’ll still have it.

One is to get all payment up-front. The other is to get a deposit of 50% of the price for your services up-front, and the rest before you hand over the finished work.

As you build more experience, put together a portfolio of your best work, and ask clients to write a testimonial/reference letter. Both of these methods will inspire confidence in potential clients.

Good luck!

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[ipsofacto]

My ADD symptoms worsen as my anxiety level rises. The problem I’ve found with anxiety is that it can be hard to recognize if you don’t have a baseline to compare what you are feeling to. It is also hard to identify the feeling itself to start with. Relaxation response exercises will give you that base line and once you know what it feels like to be relaxed, you can start to feel the tension rise and take some action to control it.

Do you use a planner? This is essential if you are working for yourself. Notes on a calender won’t cut it. You need something you can carry everywhere. I like a traditional planner as it very visual and fast, but others may like electronic gadgets like I-phones etc. The ability to sync several devices is a huge advantage to the PDA type. My planner is a Fillofax personal.

For something like a photo-shoot, you may find making flow charts will help. This will give you an easily referenced picture of what happens and when. If there are interruptions or changes to the flow, you can check your flow chart to see what you might have missed.

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[distractedmomma]

Thank you for all the pointers! My photography is more of a paying hobby right now. Until I have everything figured out (pretty much all the points Larynxa brought up) and clear in my head, I won’t feel comfortable making my photography services “official”. I have no idea where to go about contracts. I think I saw something about purchasing them online….

As for preparation, I visited the wedding locations beforehand, even brought a friend who does this for a living with me! I also attended the wedding rehearsal. I showed up where I was supposed to be on time, except for being 5-10minutes late for the formal shots because I took a wrong turn (even after having driven there before to make sure I knew how to get there!!). These little mishaps shake my confidence a lot!!!

I’ve tried notebooks and such, but I either forget to write in them or lose the book. My wallet is clipped to my car keys to make sure I don’t forget one. I just do so many stupid things when I’m overly anxious it’s crazy! And all this time I was never able to explain it, until now of course! I’d love an Iphone, but I keep misplacing my regular cellphone! Even if I have a spot for it, I somehow get distracted on my way to putting it where it belongs (by another phone ringing, the kids, my husband talking to me) that I sometimes don’t recall setting it down, but somehow I did and I can’t figure out where!!

When I booked this wedding, I had no idea I might be ADD. If I had, I would have made sure to get treatment well underway before booking. My sister is actually the one who recognized the symptoms.

I think I put off using the term “professional” because to me it equals high expectations. I’d rather lower the expectation and wow them in the end. This being said, I always behave professionally. I just don’t like the title :S

So many people came up to me during the wedding rehearsal (including the parents of the bride and groom) to tell me how much they loved the engagement pics I took and how they thought I had real talent. One should feel good when this happens, but in my case I felt so much pressure to perform at the same caliber for the wedding (with absolutely no previous experience).

At the wedding reception, a retired professional photographer even came up to me to say how he thought I had talent for this type of thing. For a split second, it felt good, but then before I knew it I found myself worried that I wasn’t up to par with the shots I had just taken.

I read that many ADDers sometimes feel like a fraud, when they achieve something and can’t do it again. The higher my education (I have my Masters in Nutrition) the more I feel like a fraud because of the stupid things I still do or say.

I’m always doubting myself and this causes me to make foolish mistakes

Sorry, I’m just down lately when I should be feeling good…..

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[kc5jck]

I think that one of the indicators of talent and ability is the ability to recognize where you can improve and to recognize your weaknesses so you can correct for them. (Did I just say the same thing twice?)

You might do some reading in your area of interest and take some classes. I suspect you will be surprised at how much you already know. Either way, it should help you confidence and classes could provide you with some good resources.

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[ashockley55]

Same here with the anxiety causing increased ADD symptoms. And p.m.s. increases my anxiety. So during that time of the month, forget it. My medication really struggles to help me with the fatigue, anxiety, o.c.d. and a.d.d. symptoms. It can take a little bit of the edge off, but is still no match for what goes on with me hormonally every month.

I also have the same problem with self-confidence. Recently I was selected to perform in a new burlesque talent showcase, and when I got the e-mail notifying me that I had been selected, I had one elated moment of glee that was quickly interrupted by the thought that maybe I had gotten the e-mail by mistake, that they had accidentally sent it to me, intending to send it to someone else. Co-dependent that I am, I started worrying about the awkward position they would be in to correct the error, and even wondered if they would just let me perform and not tell me in order to avoid the embarrassment of the mess up.

Ay.

So, you’re not alone in your feelings!

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[Tiddler]

Another one with a similar story here!

Mine is worse before my period and seems to be worse again since I became peri-menopausal. It was just off the scale when i was pregnant, as was the dyspraxia – everything I touched was dropped and I couldn’t pick it up so there was a pile on the floor of things I’d dropped or broken for my husband to pick up when he got home from work!

I’m having a lull in symptoms at the moment. They’re still there but they’re barely noticeable to me. I watched a whole film this evening without checking mails/reading/walking about/skipping through it/talking through it. I fidgetted a bit, moved from one sofa to the other, got up a couple of times and that’s it!

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[distractedmomma]

Ashockley55,

Now I’m wondering if PMS might be the culprit. It really could be…hmmm. Either way, your story sounds a lot like mine. Really nice to feel understood

Something is definitely off lately. I just got a call from my mom to let me know that I had forgotten Dad’s Bday. I rarely forget his Bday

Time to make a phone call before I forget again :S

Oh, and Tiddler, I did see a videoclip about how symptoms can get worse during peri menopause. Yay, something else to look forward too

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[Abbysanne]

I’m just a mess–FOR THREE YEARS—since I retired.

Can’t write or read long comment.

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[ipsofacto]

Abbysanne, I know what you are talking about. I’ve been unemployed a lot during this recession – same effect.

The good thing is that it lead to my diagnosis. It is possible to come back from the depths, and this time you can be better and stronger than before.

Read all that you can to be informed, and there lots of videos on utube as well.

Get a diagnosis, but read a lot of forum post about the best way to do this.

Find out about co-morbidities as these are common.

Medication helps most people, but don’t rely totally on on the doctor for type and dosage. You need to be well informed

Research and choose which other therapies you will use. Medication is only half of what you need to make your life better.

Don’t dwell too long on the past, but if you do, be non judgemental about yourself and others. Live and learn.

Good luck

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[Abbysanne]

THANKS, ipsofacto.

I’m living at a difficult level on Social Security, so I don’t have money to spend on anything but essentials.

Food is getting harder and harder. Now, a drought!

I watched the PBS special, “ADD and Mastering It”, and took scrupulous notes. I’m sure that’s what’s wrong. IT IS A RELIEF. It’s helped to relieve some of the guilt I’ve accumulated.

Already taking two anti-depressants for life-long depression/anxiety.

I Shall take advantage of the internet for research and encouragement

THANKS, again

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[Geoduck]

It gets worse during peri-menopause??? What is considered peri-menopause??? This sucks. Seriously, I get to be the dude in my next life!!!

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[Anonymous]

Mine goes both ways. The anxiety makes it worse, but doing something I love and am excited about, makes it jsut flow better. I’m not sure aboutthe business, but if someone hires you, you should ge tpaid, even if you aren’t a professional. I worry that, esp with ADHD you’ll always have self-doubts. Perhaps as a starting oint, you could just charge for the photo’s and not your time. Then after you get people who do buy from you, you can move up to amounts that include your time, using other areas photographers prices as a guide – aim for the mi/low end price range to start but then increase. Be careful to not go too low though or people may think your shots are snapshots intead of photographs. It’s a plan to help avoid the doubt. Good luck

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