My ADDventurous Alter Ego – Why Can't I Be That Awesome Girl?

[lailamoon786]

Hi Everyone,

Here’s the thing:  When I look in the mirror, I see someone who has SO much potential, SO much promise.  Why can’t I reach my full potential?  Why is it that day after day, month after month, year after year, I stand in front of my mirror with the same conversation with my alter ego over and over again:

“You have such a great To Do list – why can’t you just do them?”

“You have all the resources you need at your disposal to be super and awesomely successful – why can’t you just use them?”

“You have a PVR so that you can record your favourite TV shows and watch them AFTER you’ve done your work and studied – why can’t you just tear yourself away from the TV, work now and still have fun later?”

All these hopes and dreams – all these FABULOUS, adventurous plans.  Yet here I am, sitting in front of my TV and watching the world go by.  Meanwhile, that To Do list is collecting (electronic) dust; the dishes are piling up in the sink (if you’d just empty the dishwasher of clean dishes, there wouldn’t be any dirty dishes in the sink!); your living room is a mess, which keeps you from inviting friends over; the distance learning courses you’ve signed up for and the text books that came with them remain unopened; the cool gadgets you bought to improve your health, wealth and wellbeing remain in their original pretty packaging; the elliptical in the living room that beckons to you everyday and your free gym membership go unused; and the PROCRASTINATION KEEPS ON WINNING!  GRRRRRR!!!

So when I got diagnosed with ADD, I thought this FINALLY explained why I couldn’t bridge the gap between me and my oh-so-much-cooler alter ego – YAY! 😀  And yet, I’m still in the same vicious procrastination/time management cycle – ARGH! 🙁

I know, I know, things don’t change overnight.  Yet here I am, still looking in my mirror wistfully, day after day, month after month … oh please God, don’t let this continue for another day, another month, another year.  I know there will be some bumps along the highway we call ‘Life’ – but right now, I’m still parked on the side of the road, watching all the other cars go by as they happily make their way to their destinations.  Please, oh please, let me FINALLY get to my destinations.  Let me merge onto this highway and be that Adventurous Girl that I know I can be.  Please?  Pretty please, with cherry and chocolate on top? 🙂

 

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[Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD]

So, here’s my thought on this.  Human beings never really achieve their full potential. Because we don’t know what any one person’s potential is. Unlike a chore like shovelling snow from the driveway, with a clear, measurable, conclusion that everyone can agree on, “Yes, that driveway is now shovelled,” a human life is constant change and growth.

Even just growing old.

So perhaps what you’re really asking, and struggling with, is the question of, “How can I build new habits and change my patterns so that I can move towards my goals faster.”

And that’s a whole different issue.

The funny thing is, we have a webinar tonight, February 20th, 2015, with Dr. Russell Ramsay about this very issue. About knowing what you want to do and not doing it.

By the way, about two months ago I realized that by doing the Crossword Puzzle and Sudoku first thing in the morning, over breakfast, took longer than just eating breakfast… thus using up the part of the day when I’m most alert… but also using up brainpower and mental energy which might be better served getting my work done.  So I decided to do the puzzles at the end of the day, to unwind.

Great decision, right? Great insight. Good awareness.

And yet, every morning, I still do the Crossword and Sudoku.

And then think, ‘Darn, I’ve used up 15 minutes of my morning. I was going to do this at night. Why didn’t I do that? What’s wrong with me?’

And the short answer is, unless I don’t get the paper until after breakfast, or let my wife get it, and instead sit with my to-do list as I’m having breakfast, or read a book, or, well, make physical changes that interrupt my pattern… the pattern will keep winning.

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[blackdog]

Wow. I came here not really knowing what I wanted, feeling like I’m not really in the mood to read any of this stuff right now. I decided to click on this thread because of the interesting title, but was still thinking that I really jsut don’t want to be here.

And this could not be more appropriate. I was just thinking almost the exact same thing. And saying almost the exact same prayer.

Unfortunately, I never found the answer to these questions, and it’s too late now. The damage is done. So I wish you luck and hope you do find success and happiness in life. Whatever you do, please do find a solution. Get some help if you need to. Don’t let your whole life go by while you sit in front of the TV avoiding it.

My mother said something to me a little while ago that really hit home. I was sulking because there were some things I wanted to do but I couldnt because there was too much cleaning to be done. Frustrated and annoyed, I said “I might as well just spend the rest of my life cleaning!”

And mother replied “Well, that’s what life is.”

Of course, I immediately rejected this answer. I snapped at her, saying something like no, it isn’t, have you ever heard of watching TV or playing games?

After it had awhile to sink in, and after my attempts to do both what I wanted and the cleaning failed miserably, I realized she was absolutely right. And I really, really wish I had learned this lesson earlier in life. I know she tried to teach me, but it just never stuck, I never learned.

Trust me when I say this, you can not avoid the inevitable. Those dishes have to be washed. It’s just a fact. And the more you let things pile up, the deeper you dig the hole, the harder it is to climb out of.

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[lailamoon786]

Rick, that is profound:  changing my question/perspective to “How can I build new habits and change my patterns so that I can move towards my goals faster.” THAT is the shift I have to make!  I have to stop wallowing and start building.  I’m going to write this down on a Post-It and smack it on my front door so that before I leave every morning and after I come home every night, I will have this as a reminder.  Thank you!  Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to put your name on the Post-It so you get full credit. 😉

Blackdog, it’s NEVER too late!!!  Betty White just celebrated her 93rd birthday and she’s working hard, doing what she loves and enjoying life (acting and taking care of animals).  While my friend was in NY studying for her PhD, her mom was in Hawaii at age 52 studying for HER PhD.  How awesome is that?!?  Now, I have no idea if either have ADHD/ADD – but I do know they inspire me.  They’ve obviously built good habits and found that drive/passion to move towards their goals.  Well guess what, Blackdog – it’s OUR turn!  With the help of TotallyADD.com and this awesome community, let’s shift our perspective, build good habits, channel the positives of our ADHD/ADD and conquer the world – muah ha ha ha!!! 😀

 

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