My mom won't believe I have ADD, what do I do?

[Anonymous]

For the last few years, I thought I was lazy and unfocused, and it was my fault that I couldn’t pay attention, but I never thought it could be an illness because I never had trouble learning (I’m the best of my class and I’ve been like forever).

I’m sixteen now and I noticed this school year it got worst. I take a shower for over half an hour because I start thinking and forget I’m in there, the same thing happens when eating (sometimes i take more than 40 minutes to finish a meal) when singing or playing a song I know it happens too and if people are talking and I’m not interested I won’t listen. At school, I will stay attentive for the first 15/20 minutes of the class and then I just shut down. Sometimes I’m looking to the board and copying it to my notebook but I’m thinking of something else. When I try to study, I can’t stay focused for more than two minutes, I wander off immediately, I have trouble memorizing stuff, and sometimes I can’t control myself – for example, I turned on my computer to see a powerpoint about physics that the teacher sent me and then I started browsing the internet, but I was always thinking “don’t do it, stop, go study”, but I couldn’t focus on what I wanted.

In case it was ADD, I thought I should go see a psychologist, but I’m underaged, so I need to talk to my mom about it. When we were having dinner, I tried to subtly bring it up – we were talking about school and I said I wanted to seek help outside school because I was having trouble with physics, and my mom said I didn’t need it because I studied and I said I had trouble focusing. She said it was because I was always thinking about my cellphone, my computer and my wii (which isn’t true) and she said I had to focus more, I replied I just couldn’t focus even if I tried and she said I had to learn how to focus because I always had good grades and that meant I didn’t have any mental illness. I just started crying (I get sensitive with everything) and couldn’t explain her I thought I had ADD, because here in Portugal it isn’t talked as much as in America, so I don’t think she knows what it is.

What can I do to explain her? Everytime I think about it I just start crying, I was thinking about printing the wikipedia article about it and underlining what it is and what my symptoms are and leave it on her bed…

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[kc5jck]

It’s hard to know what to tell someone in your situation.

First, learn some facts about ADHD and take some of the on line tests. Feel confident that ADHD is likely. Then find a quiet time to talk to your mother when there are no distractions, perhaps at night before you go to bed. Be calm and adult with your concerns. Have some information available to show her. Be persistent. It’s hard for me as a parent to think that a child approaching the subject in this manner would not get some serious consideration. Doing well in school does not preclude your having ADHD. In fact, people with ADHD who do well in school often go undiagnosed right into a huge trainwreck later in school or in life.

Toward the end of the forum at http://totallyadd.com/forum/topic.php?id=2368 I have listed some video links on ADHD that I like. And, of course, there are many good videos on this site.

Perhaps you could get your mom on this site to learn and ask questions. There is a wealth of information and experience among the members here.

There are a lot of explanations for the various ADHD symptoms and behaviors, ADHD is the only one that explains them all.

http://totallyadd.com/forum/topic.php?id=3036 has a similar situation.

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