Dr. Umesh Jain is now exclusively responsible for TotallyADD.com and its content

Not loving it, looking for suggestions.

Not loving it, looking for suggestions.2012-10-01T23:44:01+00:00

The Forums Forums Medication Concerta Not loving it, looking for suggestions.

Free medication video
Viewing 0 posts
Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 24 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #91070

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 14413

    Hello, I am new to this whole deal. I am 32 yr old mother of one, married, with a business that I run, as well as a household. I was FINALLY correctly diagnosed about 8 months ago, double dx of ADHD and anxiety, and had a spark of hope that things would finally get simpler. Boy howdy was I wrong. First they started me on Adderall, which left me unable to function. Then concerta, which was better but my family couldn’t take the “come down” at the end of the day. So Dr. put me on Focalin, which was almost as bad for me as the Adderall, so now I’m back on Concerta. I have to admit that I am very confused as to whether meds are the right route for me. I have been trying to make decisions, but am stumped. My Dr. suggested that I’m not seeing the positives, due to ADD, I feel like my Dr. doesn’t care that I hate living like this. I feel very much like I get up and snort several lines of coke, then try to be a good mother, wife, business owner, etc. I consider this an oxymoron, I have put so much into building my life, I am terrified to have it stripped away from me because I can’t deal with side effects. I haven’t noticed them getting less as I continue to take as directed, so Dr added Buspar (antianxiety) and Depakote (mood stabilizer) to appease my husband, who actually went with to an appt because he is SO miserable trying to live like this. I’m frustrated too, because I don’t like taking pills much period, and this way I end up having to take 6 a day! Arghhh!!!! I found that I have dramatically increased my caffeine & nicotine intake, which I know doesn’t help, but its almost as if I’ve lost control of my body. Also started craving alcohol, driving fast, snapping at the innocent and much more. Has anyone else had problems like this, or am I really a crazy person? Is it too much meds? Not enough meds? Anyone with experience with non stimulants? Someone please help!

    REPORT ABUSE
    #116629

    allan wallace
    Member
    Post count: 478

    Cripes, a bit of a pickle, eh? I haven’t tried the meds that you’ve taken, so I can’t compare effects…I know that stimulants de-clutter my mind and enable me to get some clarity. ie. I can have my meds, not have the bombardment of random thoughts, not be as muddleheaded, have meals as normal, and sleep like a log. Other people that I know can’t. When I did coke, or other uppers it had a different effect on me to my mates which was rather interesting…yes, I got a ‘jump start’ like everybody else, but the ‘come downs’ were a breeze. Never a problem .Never got grumpy, moody, or angry like my buddies did, in fact it was as if I was as chilled out as a hippy! I once tried strattera, but found that it made me feel acutely sad, tearful, and engulfed in despair. Have you sought a second opinion for the ADHD diagnosis? Good luck with it all! :D

    REPORT ABUSE
    #116630

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 14413

    I did get a second opinion, still ADD. I too have very different reactions to “street drugs” than my friends, and avoided them for that reason! It scared me how different I was, thankfully! I do notice some positives on the meds, please don’t get me wrong. If I hadn’t had any good reactions, I would’ve stopped a while back, but am really trying to do the right thing, because I know that it isn’t easy to live with me either way. Just unsure if I can trust my own thoughts anymore, you know? I have another appt coming up with Dr. and am trying to figure out which way to go with this. More, less, none, a different type…. I am so very lost. I have also started looking for a new Dr. in my area, hopefully one that doesn’t get as frustrated with me when I say that its not necessarily a better way to live. I.e. in the last 72 hrs, I’ve only gotten about 4 hrs of sleep, and eaten less than 1200 calories. I know that pushes me even further into misery, but I am stuck for now. Hoping for better in the future, and more knowledge to bring to the table when consulting with my Dr.

    REPORT ABUSE
    #116631

    allan wallace
    Member
    Post count: 478

    Um, no, I don’t have a life! πŸ˜† Since I joined here a few weeks ago I’ve been glued to the site! I log in at least once an hour….yeah, your situation is pretty chaotic, and your desperation is tangible. I just wish that I could offer you something helpful or useful….

    For as long as I can remember I’ve never been a prolific sleeper. Before I stumbled across ‘uppers’ of any kind I could work, run amok drinking and carrying on and get by with just an hour’s sleep over and over again. I’m old, and don’t drink anymore, so wouldn’t attempt the ‘burning the candle at both ends’ lifestyle. Sheesh, I hope that between you and your doctors that a resolution can be found. It’s tough for a loser like me to just navigate my way through a pretty casual day with few obligations to a schedule, so I can only imagine how difficult it would be to do all the family stuff as well as run a business! It’s a credit to you that you’ve been able to do it thus far….like I said, I hope that everything balances out and that you get through this tough time….*hug* πŸ˜‰

    REPORT ABUSE
    #116632

    kc5jck
    Participant
    Post count: 845

    freakchik.ar – you’ve landed at the right place. There are several regulars here that can probably come up with some good advice. I am not a good one for the issue you are having. Actually, I may not be good for any issue. But keep checking back . . and keep chattering away with you fingers here. We like having new members . . and anything (pretty much) goes. We have learned not to get our feelings hurt by the eventual foot-in-the-mouth posts that we all make so don’t worry too much about what you post and don’t take personally stupid things we occasionally come out with . . . it really is a nice group here and we are glad to have you.

    That being said, I would suggest that you keep good notes on how you are affected by your meds. How they work for you, how long, and side effects you have. Also get you husband or a good friend to make notes, or at least review the ones you make. Their assessments may concur, or be completely different. It is good to have an “outside of your head” second opinion. Apparently we don’t always see ourselves as others do. (Can’t imagine why, we’re always right aren’t we?) Anyway, the notes will be useful in comparing how the different meds are working for you as well as helping you remember when you have your appointments.

    REPORT ABUSE
    #116633

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 14413

    Thanks! Yeah, I hope I landed in the right spot! It’s about darn time something goes right! And I don’t think you’re a loser Allan! (Hug back) It’s been rough, and like I said, I’ve worked my tail off trying to get my life in order, Ha! Joke, because order really doesn’t enter into my vocabulary! I’ve always embraced the side of myself that thinks differently than everyone else in the world, and so far it’s worked out pretty well for me, I tend to bend the things in my life to my will, so they have no choice but to work! Do I sound like Attila the Hun yet?! I tend to feel that way, and I guess I can come across like that as well to others, that’s what they tell me anyway! But if I can’t find a way, I look for a different approach.

    I do have a notebook, differently colored from my TO DO, Calender, Business, Home Life, & Ideas notebooks (I’m a list maker) that I write in each day about side effects, and input from family. It took me about 2 hours after my first dose of Adderall to decide that I couldn’t remember all the layers of hell I was experiencing! I also make sure that I ask everyone who I’ve spent significant time with to let me know how they’re feeling before going in for appts. Great ideas for anyone though, so thanks for suggesting! So now you are aware of how crazy I am, no one else in the world sees this part of me. I’m good at hiding it.

    I heard about this site from a friend, and figured since I’ve been told oh so very many times how imperfect I am that I would reach out and apply a few more awe inspiring brains to my dilemma and see if we ADDer’s can’t just change a few things in my little area of the universe, before we take over the world! That is as long as we don’t see anything shiny along the way! ;)

    REPORT ABUSE
    #116634

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 14413

    Glad to be here by the way, and so far you all seem pretty great! Not used to not being judged, or told that I’m just plain wrong, crazy, stupid etc. Looking forward to being glued to the site!

    REPORT ABUSE
    #116635

    Misswho23
    Member
    Post count: 146

    freakchik.ar,

    Hi, first off welcome this is the right place and a great place to be. I agree with KC. We mean well so don’t get offended with our eventual foot-in-the-mouth posts. I’m lucky that I spell check let alone use correct grammar and use run on sentences.

    So I read your posts on the meds. I’m on Adderall but a low dose. I tried the higher doses but found a lot of the aggravated side effects. Mood swings, emotional, irritated and found it even harder to sit still. I wasn’t so sure at first and thought the same. So is this the only other option as a way to live? Great now I’m crazy and just as emotional when I was drinking! Uh no thanks. But I kept at the meds and dosage. I also take a low dose of antidepressant as well.

    Keeping a journal and getting feedback is an excellent way to go. I did some of that so when I got fed up and stopped taking the meds for a while since I too hate pills I could finally tell ok there are somethings that are working. I think we live in chaos for so long it’s hard to tell when any part of life gets better. You also have to take the small victories. Such as I kept a note of how many times I could find my car keys. If you want to know how big a deal that is for me read the comments on the video Sh@3$t no Adult Adder ever says in the video section.

    In addition to medication I also had to start looking at all areas of my life. Sleep, meditation (still working on that one), mood management, eating and cutting back of coffee with the simulates. I too have anxiety and the the meds revealed how much I was actually feeling. I stopped drinking because while for many years I too would have different effects Like I could focus and get stuff done while drinking and my mood would be much calmer in the end when the ADD became more unmanageable I turned into drunk crying girl which no one likes. Not even me. And would just escalate all the symptoms. Turns out to be a very common problem among us ADD folk.

    So I would say go easy and be kind to yourself. Something we are not used to doing. Take things slow. I don’t know how long you have been on meds.

    Some people just don’t respond to meds. I have a friend who is a teacher who has put enough structures and routines in place that it keeps her symptoms manageable.

    I would also watch the webinars. Those were a great place fro me to start. Dr. Jain has two good ones on medication and a holistic approach. You really do have to spend some time on each area of your life. I thought at first the medications would be like the Parting of the red sea of my mind and then everything would just be great! No such luck. Just doesn’t work that way.

    But what I can say since the year and half that I got the actual diagnosis (I always suspected) things are so much different. Some days are crazy but not to the degree that they were. The more I learn and talk to others and use tips they have used – well then progress really speeds up.

    I just got a new job. So far so good after a week. I started getting freelance jobs as well. I’m a graphic designer and I lost my job of 11 years due to ADD symptoms out of control. Oh and I started designing jewelry and did my first street festival and was pretty successful and got lots of compliments on my designs. Got my relationship back on track. My boyfriend (that sounds so high school) of 4 years was just about to end it. Well both of us were. I educated him on stuff cued him in on the symptoms and my moods. And we are getting along and actually liking each other again. It’s not all perfect and we still have issues we are working on but the constant fighting doesn’t happen.

    Ok so that’s just a we bit about me (LOL) glad to have you hear and hope this place turns out to be as good for you as it is for me. I look forward to the posts from the people I know online here. Let us know how things progress for you. We really do want to know. It helps us too.

    REPORT ABUSE
    #116636

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 14413

    Thanks Miss who! l LOVE your profile pic by the way! I am an artist myself, glad to hear that your first vending experience went well! I find those nerve wracking to the extreme, too much to focus on at once! I think you and I will have a bit in common, which is unusual for me to find in people. Also no worries, I really don’t think I will take the foot in mouth moments to heart, heaven knows I’m perfectly comfortable with my own size 9 crammed in there!

    Its an amazing relief to hear that it hasn’t gone so smooth for everyone else, Dr. makes me feel like its just me being deliberately difficult. Wish I was more comfortable being myself, so I could show her just how difficult I feel!!! I have been working with a counselor for about a year, happily by accident she happens to be ADD specialist. Have been really trying to work on all the areas in life too, improving self awareness and not expecting more out of myself than I would from Superman (maybe the hardest thing ever)

    Can’t wait to be a part of a community where I can be me, without getting yelled at!

    Congrads on the new job! I really hope it works out well for you! Also HUGE props for not giving up on your relationship! Give yourself a back pat for that one!

    Perhaps I should clarify a couple things, I do have a crazy strong craving for drugs and alcohol that I haven’t had in the past, so I account it to meds. Not that I actually go out and use. Hubby’s been sober for 7 yrs this month, so I pretty much stay clean myself, which has been a huge help, since I have someone who knows what it is to have those cravings, and how to fight them. Haven’t done any drugs since experiments in college, when I realized just how far my “differences” extended. I too got totally obnoxious while drunk, and HATED it.

    As added stress though, Hubby has dx of double deppression, and anxiety. Now that he doesn’t drink, he has started hoarding. Just what I need. As soon as I work my way through one pile of my crap, he’s got 15 new ones started. Yes, I realize that just makes me worse. We are both in counselling and trying meds, and doing all we can, and not giving up on our marriage. As for small victories, I have been counting sobriety, and NOT killing the father of my child, among many others! But, am afraid that I am still feeling overwhelmed and like the world is out of control. I have noticed that since I posted first this afternoon, some of my tension has eased, just from having somebodies out there (and not in an office billing me $200/hr), who are willing to listen, and try to offer helpful and positive suggestions! So thank you from the bottom of my heart! <3

    REPORT ABUSE
    #116637

    Misswho23
    Member
    Post count: 146

    I read your husband has started hoarding since being sober. It’s common.

    Just before I stopped drinking I was diagnosed with ADHD part of it. It’s been about 16 months since I’ve drank. However I did taste a friends drink that she had made out of curiosity. The sip was so small it was more like just sticking my finger in it. She made the thing so strong all I could think was this would totally knock me out! No increased desire to drink over that. It’s funny but I really think having ADD may give us some weird cravings. Like sometimes I only want one type of food for a while. Sometimes it’s just rice or other stuff. Chocolate however is always good. Boy if you told me I had to stop chocolate!

    Ok but back to you and the husband and hoarding. I have had bouts with hoarding. I’ve come to a couple of conclusions. 1. It was a way to deal with stress and changes 2. Anytime I feel a perceived lack of something either physical or emotional I tend to go and stock up on whatever. In another post since being on meds I wrote I discovered about a doz of rolls of scotch tape. Among other things because as an artist as well you know you will find something cool to do with that whatever thing it is. Or maybe you don’t have that tendency and it’s just your hubby.

    Shopping also got me in trouble. When I would do that the drinking went down. When the drinking was up the shopping went down. When both of those were not on the active side it was eating. So I found I would just rotate from one things to another. Hoarding is another very, very common way to deal with depression and anxiety. SInce this started when your husband got sober I would bet since he’s no longer drinking to medicate the hoarding has taken it’s place. When I stopped drinking i had to focus on other ways to deal with anxiety. And it takes some time. With hoarding people often don’t actually see the quantities. I had to really stop and think and go through my house and actually count out stuff to get that I had more than enough of whatever.

    Keep coming back. (that’s sounds like another group – LOL) But I have been there as well.

    What kind of art do you do? I do (mediums) Graphite Drawing, Oil Painting, Computer Graphics, Jewelry Design and Floral design on occasion (after being a florist for 12 years) I’ve been doing Graphic Design for about 12+ years now. And I still don’t feel like I really know what I’m doing or can keep track of time. Argh! But at least am aware now.

    Oh and I beat you I have a size 11 to put foot in mouth with. Yep folks my feet are like Peggy Hill’s. If you know that character.

    REPORT ABUSE
    #116638

    allan wallace
    Member
    Post count: 478

    Very interesting! Just out of curiosity, those of you that have had issues with alcohol, did any of you just keep drinking until you passed out? When I drank I was a binge drinker, and once I had my first drink, that would be it! I’d wake up the next day with the mother of all hangovers, often in a pool of vomit, blood, and bile, and even though each time I swore that I’d never touch another drop, the following week-end I’d inevitably disgrace myself again. Irrespective of the company that I was with, colleagues, family, mates, or families of girlfriends I’d still end up making a spectacle of myself despite my best intentions. An ex g/f was from a well-to-do family, and there were at least half a dozen occasions when I’d utterly drink ,myself unto oblivion, despite promises, threats, bribes, and pleadings. It was if once the first mouthful cascaded down my gullet, that I’d be trying to set some new PB for getting train-wrecked in the shortest possible time….the worst one was at a posh restaurant with my g/f and her stuck-up family….because the meal had taken so long to arrive at the table I’d guzzled several bottles of red wine. As the waiter in his tux approached wheeling a big silver trolley with a massive silver dish in the middle I was speculating on the size of the banquet that I was about to unleash myself upon. With a flourish the waiter removed the lid to reveal a tiny plate with ice-cream scoop size servings! I erupted into laughter at the absurdity of the whole spectacle, and once I started I couldn’t stop! The ashen faces around me only made things worse, and eventually a hush fell over the restaurant for the piece de resistance: I vomitted all over the table! It was possibly the most mortifying thing, from an encyclopedia of mortifying events, that I’d ever done. My g/f’s mother very tersely suggested to my g/f’s brother that perhaps some fresh air would do me good, so I was hastily removed from the horror movie that I’d just directed, produced, and starred in! It was terrible. I refused to go back inside, and just waited in the car for a couple of hours until they’d be forced to cast their eyes upon me again. I pretended to be asleep, but it was still a very tense drive away from the debacle. Scarcely a word was exchanged between the horrified family….about a year later I almost outdid that effort by excusing myself from the table and making a beeline towards the ensuite of her brother and new wife’s new house that they were still in the process of moving into….I just got through the door and locked it behind me, but didn’t make it to the loo before Etna erupted! Ye Gods, the spew seemed to cover every square millimetre of floor, wall, and ceiling, and everything in between….eventually my g’f wandered down to see if I was enjoying myself in the spa or something, and I’d only cleaned a fraction of what made Chernobyl look like a spilt glass of milk. She just looked at me, mouth agape, and ordered me to get into the car immediately whilst she conveyed my regrets for having to leave early! I haven’t touched a drop for over 20 years, and have not the slightest inclination to taste the poison again! 😳

    Oh, and in case you’re wondering, the poor girl had the good sense to cut me adrift after she had irrefutable proof of my cheating….in my defence, I wrote a few letters over the years profusely apologising for the years that she wasted with me, and sincerely wishing her well with her beaus. She is one of the most beautiful people that I have ever know, and she didn’t deserve my crap :(

    REPORT ABUSE
    #116639

    kc5jck
    Participant
    Post count: 845

    Makes me feel better about some of the things I did years ago.

    REPORT ABUSE
    #116640

    Amy
    Member
    Post count: 161

    Same here. When I was in college, I usually drank until I couldn’t anymore. After college, it was really hard for me just to have a couple of drinks, but I could do it with a lot of willpower (not all the time). Now that I’m taking meds, I have no problems with stopping at one.

    REPORT ABUSE
    #116641

    Misswho23
    Member
    Post count: 146

    allan wallace-

    Wow that’s a story. I don’t mean this in a mean way but you sound my like my ex. Somehow he would never throw up. In fact he never really got hangovers. He would drink all night do some of the things you describe and then get up and want to go for a bike ride.

    He also had ADHD. Had meds but would sell them to the college kid one floor down.

    Some of the stories I have from that relationship are actually kinda funny. I could never drink like that. I have a lower tolerance level.

    If I have more than 3 glasses of whatever then I’m in trouble. My drinking started to look more and more like the lighter side of my ex’s (which would be considered just a heavy drinker) but I started doing some of the personality switches he would have. That caught my attention because he drove me crazy when he would get like that. I didn’t want to do the same. This happened about 5 years after we had broke up. And then I was in my forties. Same age he was when he was getting too obnoxious to handle.

    REPORT ABUSE
    #116642

    allan wallace
    Member
    Post count: 478

    Heh,

    thanks Misswho…yeah, there were some amusing moments as well along the way, plenty of bellylaughs, countless near-miss tragedies…cripes, the stupid things that I did for a giggle: ‘rally-driving’ in the Dandenong Ranges with the headlights off just to see how far that I could go without crashing. Of course I ended up hitting a cliff, but if I’d swung the other way I’d have gone over the edge. How far down was terra firma? I haven’t the foggiest….swinging through the dancefloor from the rafters of a surfy club just to annoy the posers swaggering around in vests, heckling First class Cricketers at the MCG just to get a response! Got my bonce up on the big screen with my drunken buddy laughing like fruit loops after provoking the player to approach us and give us a bit of ‘trash-talk’. Before he had retaliated it was just the two drunken buffoons sledging him, afterwards it was a good percentage of the crowd getting on his back! We couldn’t even continue our barrage for we were laughing so much at what other people were saying and suggesting to him :D Oh my, too many good laughs to go into…however, I wish that were less of the horror stories! *grimace*

    REPORT ABUSE
Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 24 total)