Oh, the SHAME!!!! :(

[Evelyn]

fakeittilyoumakeit,

You are welcome, I can be a little too forward sometimes, let me know if you want me to pull back.

Good luck with Hubby!

The courses I’m taking on-line aren’t monitored by a teacher or anything, so I don’t really have a deadline except that I want to get my website going. And I want it to look the best it can, and feel comfortable to my visitors.

My big shame is losing jobs so easy. I am meticulous bordering on slow or stop. My last job was a driving job. I didn’t progress fast enough. They didn’t give me the right tools either. But also I didn’t have the confidence in myself to do the job.  I think it must have showed.

Eventually my website will provide income so I don’t have to worry about satisfying a corporation. If my visitors drop I know I have to fix something.

And Thank You!!! Your kind words inspire and encourage me too.  It’s amazing with the turmoil you are going through that you have the ability to boost me up too.

You keep posting too, I’ll be looking for your updates.

Evelyn

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[Robbo]

It’s all good @Evelyn, I wasn’t being sarcastic when I said whatever I said about what-ever name ya call me. What Ever gal! lol.

Seriously, if you take stuff I said wrong. It’s cuz one of us goofed. Sometimes it’s me, other times. Well, it ain’t. 🙂 That don’t mean it’s you though. Sometimes I goof several times in a row… all bet ya noticed. (see?)

Seriously, call me any old name… it just does not matter. I really do mean this from the bottom of my very sincere heart.

 

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[Evelyn]

Robbo’s beans.

So Mr. *.Beans what is your name if you don’t mind me asking?

I didn’t take anything wrong that you wrote… Did I? You didn’t say anything that up-set me, that is if you are thinking along those lines.

I am all good now. To quote you a little.

I just took a break today away from the computer, cause the house won’t clean it’s self and I had the bug to do it.

Keep posting I like hearing from you, you always say something to make me ponder a bit.

That’s a good thing.

 

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[Robbo]

Darn, wrote a replyin my text editor. Lost it in the copy n paste process.

Thanks for asking Evelyn, I have gone by Robbo for most of the time I’ve been hanging around in this forum. It’s a good time to be asking me a direct question like you have. Because I’m under a lot more pressure the last few weeks than I’ve been under for at least 4 or 5 years. Maybe longer.

I also understand that it’s not necessarily good for our forum here for me to keep on playing musical names. Life simply cannot always be about fun and games.

It’s a bitter reality, not a very sweet pill to have to swallow. But I’m willing, and able. For me getting better involved in my community means mostly church activities. I’m required to show some resemblence of serious socially acceptable behavior. I’m actually getting the hang of it. It’s a matter of respect, huh?

I don’t always feel like I get all that much respect in the world. But the truth really is that we reap what we sew most of the time. Of course there are always exceptions. But it’s been a very long time since I’ve truly felt dis-respected either here in this forum. Or at any of the churches I go to.

I hope to be able to find some sort of balance in my life this summer. Kind-of a goal. And I also hope that people will read a gentle tone in this post. Because that’s the way that I’m trying to write it.

I’m trying very hard and become a much more gentle man. Here in this forum I tend to let my hair down quite a bit more than I do in some of the rest of my life. The trouble is that I’m ending up with much less time to do this lately. Other projects are demanding my attention, and guess what? I’ve actually got some attention to give these days ta boot!.

I really want to take a vacation from this place. But it’s this forum, and more importantly. The people here that have taught me a lot of the new skills I’ll need to settle down into a much more balanced lifestyle. It’s a tall order for me. But it’s really sounding much better than what I’ve been doing. Shame is a very difficult topic to talk about. Very.

I may even start to…

Probably after a vacation.

Ironically enough, on April first. I’ll have an appointment with my GP doctor. It’s likely he’s going to let me try Ritalin again. I’ve been skipping the Wellbutrin a couple times a week. But as time progresses. I’m coming to the conclusion that it’s not the right medication for me. It’s been better than nothing. But I’m realizing now, that quitting the Ritalin last year about mid summer was a mistake. We shall see. I’m taking this slowly and cautiously.

I have to get past a lot of shame in order to become willing to give another medication a try. But as hard as I have been working at life without the right medication. I can see clearly that I still need that extra 15% of help that most of us can reasonably expect from medications. It’s a tough call to make.

When I really look, I can find slow progress. Gotta really look though. And leave as much of that nasty shame business behind me. Most of it is not even my own.

That’s all the questions I can handle for now new friend.

Tok to ya soon.
R-

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[Evelyn]

Robbo

Your gentleness came through loud and clear.

It’s all a work in progress, and yes I see that you are progressing. But if you do take a vacation from here, don’t hesitate to cut it short if you miss us. Cause we’ll miss you.

I’ll try to keep my questions very minimal, but sometimes it helps to know the answer. But, I’m ok with it, if you choose not to answer something. We all have good reasons for keeping part of our identity tucked away.

Heck I don’t even have my school name on facebook. I don’t have much on facebook, I don’t trust that website as far as I can throw it. But that’s just me. I know lot’s of people who just let it all out there. It’s gonna come back and bit them one of these days.

Sorry to go all weird about facebook, but there is some serious shameful things being said there.

Gotta change the subject…

I take the long-acting  Ritalin, it’s called Concerta. But with these late nights, I’ve been having trouble taking it because it lasts for 12 hours. If I take it too late in the morning I’ll never get myself back on a good sleep cycle.

I think you are right that it’s only about 15% though, I never thought about it in that way, it does work, but if you don’t have a structure already started, and a goal in mind, chances are it really doesn’t do much to help life situations. I am off mine until I can get up early enough to take it properly. Not even my alarm clock is waking me up these days.

I’m not sleeping on the couch though. I was in that habit for a long time.

I think you will get better at understanding yourself, as time goes on. The shame we feel now, I think, is a result of “new knowledge”, we learn that we can act differently, but we need help to do it. That’s where your therapist will come in real handy. Your groups too. They can all help you build the tools/structure that help you keep your life in balance.

Well God bless you Robbo.

I gotta sign off here before I start pecking these keys with my nose. I wanted to leave you with one more thing.

Remember back a wayz when we were talking about the websites? I told you about a WYSIWYG code writing program called NVU. Well I found a guy on youtube who has a 4 part video on making a website right from scratch no fancy stuff just the very basic, do-what-you-gotta-do crude website; really 5 parts. The videos are 4 years old but are still worth watching, very straightforward.

“Creating a simple website logo in Paint” is really the first video at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7k4nycWQuA

…but lesson 1 is: Creating a simple author platform online with a website built in NVU: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfReNFshQa4

I was in the process of watching the 4th one when I decided to check my email, and found that you and Larynxa had posted.

Well have a look and have some fun.

Talk to ya later.

 

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[Robbo]

Thanks a bunch Evelyn. You’re right. God blesses us, all of us.

I think it’s safe to say that He blesses each and every one of us for our entire life. It don’t matter if we like it or not. And most of us will never really know in our own lifetime just how much He blesses us. I bet Jimi Hendrix definitely knew he was blessed. It’s just that it was possibly too much  love for him to handle, and all the hiding out at Electric Ladyland in the world could not do what Jimi needed to have done inside him.

He liked to smoke n drink. We all know how that story ended up, don’t we?

So he did indeed teach us a lot about our own lives.

Just like Jimi Hendrix, each and every one of us gets to live a life of meaning and purpose. We’re all teachers too. It just takes the slightest acknowledgement of our responsibility for us to really start to teach people things that really matter.

It’s sorta funny to think that any of us has more power to teach than any of the rest of us. I might even like to say that it’s quite foolish to think we’re all teachers. We do indeed teach each-other. There’s no doubt about that.

I do a lot of showing folks what not to do in my life. But this is valuable teaching none-the less.

The media is fully saturated with fine fine examples of what NOT to do, huh?

DGMS!

actually, okay… go ahead and get me started…

jus joking.

PS seriously now. I’m gonna take a vacation from this place. But I’ll be in other places, n that’s for sure gal. It’s likely that I’ll stop by and write a couple lines in the update box. But I’ll be thinking about lot’s of the folks in this camp.

When we think about other people. It’s a vote. There is one place where our vote always counts. It’s when we’re talking to Him that it totally, and seriously counts. He makes every final decision. And you can rest assured that we can trust Him, much much more than we can even trust ourselves.

That’s because many of us are nothing but filthy dirty stinking rotten liars. But not me.

I wouldn’t lie to ya. Unless I picked up some mal-formed, and ill advised, gossip oriented trash talk  from a bunch of idiots. This has been known to happen to some of the very best of us. Huh?.

And the very least of us as well.

All are vulnerable.

All fall.

under Him.

P

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[Evelyn]

Robbo,

You just said a mouth-full!

We are all teachers, we all have something to pass along. Most of the time we don’t even realize we are teachers. Every person is valuable, in one way or another, worth learning from, and worth teaching to.

We may not always like the lessons, but we like the result if we understood the message right, took it to heart, and let it sink in.

Well gotta cut it short tonight, I have a dentists appointment in the morning and the way my sleep patterns have been going I could easily over-sleep.

Keep Well,

Evelyn

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[Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD]

One of the things I’ve learned about procrastination, or any ADHD issue, is that it impacts me in every area of life.

So lately, in working with Ari Tuckman on the Procrastination webinars, I’ve been having one small breakthrough after another in getting stuff done, or started, or finished. And a breakthrough around work ends up translating into a breakthrough in housework, handling finances, even in making sure I take time off to relax, or exercise…

That’s the power of focusing on one thing. It automatically spills over into benefits in other areas.

The challenge is staying focused on one thing long enough to have the breakthrough! Ha!

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[Evelyn]

Rick,

The challenge is staying focused on one thing long enough to have the breakthrough! Ha!

Yes, yes! I think my record for staying at the sink doing dishes is three minutes.

But… The cats get fed. I know what the weather will be tomorrow. the clothes are taken out of the dryer. I know what cacophony means…  (Google…). “I could not endure the cacophony of  four cats wanting to be fed.”

OK, so 3 hours later the dishes might be done, or not, and I’ve given up trying.

I get on the computer and hyper-focus ’til…  Oh expletive! 5:30 in the morning.

Nite, mornin, whichever.

Evelyn

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