Physical benefits from Dexedrine trigger emotional realizations

[Anonymous]

I have been on Dexedrine for 8 months since beginning an investigation into the potential existence of ADD. Both a psycho-educational assessment and a psychiatric appraisal confirm that I’ve been dealing with ADD my whole life.

One of the amazing physical benefits of taking Dexedrine is that when I climb a 16′ ‘A’ ladder with a theatrical lighting fixture in one hand, I’m not clinging for dear life to the ladder with the other. And at the top of the ladder, when hanging and focusing said fixture, I don’t really notice how high up I am. When I look down I kinda say, “oh, look how high I am”, and then return to work. Amazing: I used to shake and sweat with fear while doing that work.

I thought to myself today, while preparing to return to a Masters degree I never finished, preparing to meet with profs to talk about my unfinished work, that I fear Impending doom when I’m in a frightening situation. I mean I normally do, but now on Dexedrine I can see that the old feeling of doom, of feeling like I’m actually going to fall off the ladder, that my profs are actually going to do something bad to me, and I mean worse that simply kick me out of school, like beat me up, that that old feeling of doom is unfounded. The feeling of doom, a constant in my childhood, served me well, telling people around me know that I needed something. But now, as a 49 year old, that feeling is debilitating. It’s especially harmful when I don’t even realize that it exists! You mean some people climb ladders with no fear at all, or talk with their academic committees about how awful their research is and how it can be improved? Impossible, I’ve always thought.

Now, whenever I get that uprising feeling in my stomach, like I’m going to puke from fear, I’ll be able to recognize it, live with it for a bit, and then talk myself out of it. What a relief.

REPORT ABUSE

[Geoduck]

Interesting. I take regular amphetamine salts. I actually felt like I experience more anxiety, well at least in the morning. Maybe it’s the old anxiety, but I just haven’t taken my meds yet???

I’m gonna keep track of this now. Well, in my head. I have ADHD. No time to write crap down, you know. LOL!

REPORT ABUSE

[Author]

Posts