Please Help, I've fallen and can't get up

[Anonymous]

Me and ADD…enough said. I need some advice. Please forgive me if this is not the right place to ask this. Anyway, given the graven situation I find myself in I would very much appreciate some feedback.

My hope and prayer is that God in his infinite mercy will guide me them through this endeavor.” I stand on a precibus in my life. I have been married to a wonderful God fearing woman for 24 years. I am a 47 year old father of three with four very precious grandchildren.

Let me paint a short picture here; On average over the years I can only keep a good job for about 4 years and from the beginning of our marriage she has kept the checkbook. That said, she is a very successful l teacher, national board certified, and is currently in a Master’s program in Education Administration, and being looked at very seriously for Elementary Principal.

On the other hand, I, living “unaware” helped build houses, airplane parts, worked in an engineering dept as an apprentice, and received my BS in CIS at 30 yrs of age. I then worked my way into the local school districts and built computers, LANs, worked with WANs, hired people, presented workshops, even wrote a software application…all while “covering up my shame” (what I see now as my attempts at self-medication). From there I shifted gears and became Series 7 licensed and sold stocks and bonds (that was November 2001). Tragedy really…by this time my means self medication were out of control and I went to see a psychiatrist who started a regiment of drugs (one of them I really liked sooo much that he took me off it). Anyway, once I was asked to leave the employment of Edward Jones Investments, the insurance stopped and I was without work, without meds, and still very much in the dark. I made attempts to reenter life in the fast lane, but alas I had acted out enough for me to be a risk and going back would cost exposing my shame and, at the time, seemed too great.

Being that her Dad was a contractor who I had worked for in the past, I went back to building houses. I tried attempts to get out of the $12.00 hr world of construction, but each time I tried I failed, some because of the present, some because of the past. Anyway I entered into a bankruptcy plan in 2007 and went back to building houses. During that time we found a Christian based counselor / psychiatrist and my wife and I began the task of trying to fix me. With the help of a local Dr., I started on Prozac and began the process of rebuilding my marriage and my underlying issue of sexual addiction. This churned along quite nicely until her father passed away suddenly (May, 2010) and I was forced to leave the family business. After that I worked for a farmer, a upstart wireless internet company, and most recently for a tower company.

Now here’s my dilemma:

While working for the upstart internet company my old crutch reared its ugly head again and I got arrested for ”harassment”. We spent the last $600 we had in savings to post my bail, we’ve missed a payment here and there enough to be facing dismissal from bankruptcy, she has another class starting Feb 15 that will cost $750, and right now I am unemployed. I have a couple of jobs possibilities, but no immediate work. My wife is fit to be tied… Oh, by the way, while out of work this last week, I studied her statistics book to help her with the current stats class that she’s in and aced the on-line test and finished the research paper she couldn’t finish because she just couldn’t get it.

Now finally, to my question: Will getting a formal diagnosis of ADD help concerning the bankruptcy, also concerning the legal issue of harassment?

I now have some idea as to why I am “different” and, most importantly, that I am no longer alone in this struggle of life. Thank you all for being open and honest and providing an unequalled resource for those of us who are “different”.

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[distractedmomma]

I’m new to this (just learned I have ADHD about a month ago). I’m sorry I can’t help you with this. I just feel bad that you didn’t get any replies when you really needed it. I guess this just demonstrates how varied our symptoms can be and how we can’t alway help guide others with ADHD or possible ADHD.

I hope things are getting better on you end…. did you finally get an “official” diagnosis?

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[allan wallace]

G’day Jeff,

I too feel bad that you haven’t had any advice. I certainly can’t offer any for I’m only beginning to deal with the nitty gritty of my diagnosis too. If it makes you feel any better I’m unemployed, almost unemployable, the world’s most useless husband, and such a disaster with money and organisation that I’d send a lemonade stall insolvent if it was slap bang in the middle of a desert with thousands of thirsty stranded rich tourists queing up for one of my refreshments….I hope that you get through the fog! *hug*

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[Author]

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