reached the end of the post diagnosis honeymoon stage….

[Jeannius]

I was diagnosed last fall, I’m in my 40s…my daughter was diagnosed 2 years ago at 16. At the time, I figured I probably was too because she is too much like me..plus, I was on wellbutrin for winter depressions….SSRI’s don’t work for me, but Wellbutrin does..and when she got her Adderall, and I read up on it, I realized there was a connection….if my meds worked similarly to adderall, and my daughter was a lot like me, I probably had the same issues…but didn’t want to push it with my DR and sound like a hypochondriac. Anyway..it took about a year and a half before our shared and overworked doctor had the lightbulb go on and she made the connection and told me to try my daughter’s meds for a few days and if they helped, she’d put me on it… it did..suddenly, I had lots of energy and a relief to know I really wasn’t lazy etc and had a reason I was scatterbrained/disorganized/messy. my depression vanished too because I suddenly had the energy to cope.

Now, it’s been about 9 months since the diagnosis. I’ve acclimated to the adderall..still works etc….but my depression has been back for the last month or two….at first I thought it was my youngest daughter hitting hormonal puberty and throwing me off…. (I say my daughters are in a hormonal tug of war and I am the rope!)…but I came to realize it’s the old spinning wheels feeling combined with other old, negative thoughts which have to do with things I don’t like about myself which are ADD related.

I did some more research and found that, while I have seen myself as a very unique individual, with strong beliefs about being myself etc….that an awful lot of ‘myself’ is basically due to being ADD….and I’m not sure how to deal with it….on one hand, at least I know and can try to work on it..know it’s not my fault I’m messy, often late etc….and that my positives also come from the ADD..smart, creative etc. But part of me is feeling a tad hopeless in the battle to regain control over my own life….

I’ve been mostly alone, aside from kids, since my husband died in 2003…one intermittent, long distance relationship/friendship….and I find myself thinking things like….give up on finding anyone…who would want to live with a messy person like me etc. I know I shouldn’t think like that, but lately, it’s been cropping up..the feelings of worthlessness and stuff.

I’m doing what I can about it….taking my meds…trying to be better about getting things done but I keep falling into the same time eating distractions in spite of my best intentions. I did some research and found this page http://www.estronaut.com/a/women_attention_deficit.htm helpful..yet frighteningly accurate. I don’t have all the characteristics listed there of women who go undiagnosed, but a lot of nails were hit on the head. I contacted a former psychologist I used to see when I was depressed a few years ago and will meet up with her to try to figure some of this out…a lot of it is dealing with the neg feelings and frustrations now that that initial psychological boost of diagnosis and meds has waned…..and the next step, I’m thinking is some sort of strategies for overcoming the ADD issues….I just can’t afford to go hire a coach etc….and as has been so often the case, I have to try to find my own solutions….But part of that is joining some online forums for ADD and I have requested to join a local meetup group for adult ADD…but they seem to be procrastinating about adding me! lol

so, any tips, suggestions or feedback on what I’ve already tried to do would be appreciated. Did any of you also go through this same ‘honeymoon’ period after finally getting a diagnosis/treatment only to kind of crash a few months later? I read somewhere that it is pretty typical….

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