Runs in the family, but we're all in denial

[Anonymous]

Im 30 years old, single, marginally successful at my career, and constantly spaced out. I’ve suffered from depression since before I was a teenager, attempted suicide at 27, was diagnosed with major depression soon after, and diagnosed with obsessive compulsive personality. I’ve never been officially diagnosed with ADD, or ADHD, but my therapists have always told me that I show many of the signs of having it.

The best way to describe my life in one word is: Cluttered. Organization and me are just not friends. It has ended relationships, caused me failures in school, held me back in the work place, has me living in a pig sty, and just overall leaves me frustrated every day. It’s hard for me to explain to people what my life is like. I’ve tried many times before, but people just don’t understand.

At home and in the work place, I jump from task to task with out actually completing anything. At work I have tech reports half finished, project that are lingering on past their due dates, a desk that looks like a bomb went off, and three white boards filled with to-do lists. At home I have projects that are left unfinished, lots of clutter, a “junk” room, a dirty kitchen, unread news papers, piles of bills,piles of junk mail, and piles of a combination of junk mail, and “save” mail.

I love the Internet because it gives me the ability to quickly jump from one thing to the next. I can read half a news story, then check my email, the watch a YouTube video, the video chat with a friend, the check a forum, then watch half a YouTube video, then learn a new guitar riff, go back to read the rest of the news story, but then see a headline for a new story and moved on to that one. Meanwhile the tv is on, I’ve got music on in another room, and diner being made on the stove.

While growing up, I was involved in everything. I was in the marching band, I was in a rock band, I played sports, I took college prep classes, I was an auto mechanic, I was a boy scout, my dad was always on the road, so I was Mr. fix-it, and I had a lot of “friends”. Even though I was involved in so much, I never had one thing that defined me, and that’s because I jumped around so often. I’d get interested in something, do it for a while, and then move on to something else.

Reading has also been a real big chore for me, but the funny thing is that I love to read. I can read a sentence five times, and it would read differently every time. I skip words, scan the pages, see a word but interpret it as another word, and have to reared entire chapters, paragraphs and books. The odd thing is that when I take IQ tests, I score very high with reading comprehension, and I have a realatively high IQ.

My life is filled with so many distractions, and it’s hard to focus on just one of them. I know doctors have told me in the past that I might have ADD, but I never knew what to do about it. I think a lot of that has to do with ADD becoming a catch phrase that people throw around light heartedly.

I spoke with my boss about ADD a few weeks ago, and he gave me a couple TotallyADD DVDs to take home and watch. I did, and it changed my life. For once I understood why I am the way I am. My dad and my oldest sister both have the same symptoms as I do. Almost exactly to the T. Nw that I’ve realized what I’m dealing with, I’m taking measures to change my behavior. At work for starters, I’ve cleaned my desk, and thrown out all the old papers, and junk that I know longer need. I’ve started making small daily task lists that are realistic, and can be completed in one day. I set schedules, and time limits for tasks, such as giving my self 2 hours to work on project A, an hour to work on B, 10 minutes dor C, and so on. By keeping a time limit, it helps me stay on a specific tast before moving to another. At home I’m doing similar things to improve. I’ve started by cleaning my house, but I’ve broken it up by room, and by sub task, and then by region. It makes it less stressful, and easier to manage when you eat the elephant one bite at a time.

Furthermore, I help mentor students in reading once a week. This year I’ve been paired with a boy who has been diagnosed with ADD and ADHD, and is taking mess for it. The mess help, but I find it a challenge to get him to finish a book. We’ll start reading, and then he will flip through the pages to look at all the pictures, then he will start over, and then sometimes he will put the book down and say he wants to read something else. Since watching these videos, and learning more about this disorder, I’ve been able to understand how his brain is working, and I’m able to keep him on task and learning. He has shown a lot of improvement since I’ve started this.

That’s me in nutshell. And before you ask, No, I’m not suicidal any more. I’ve received help, and I’m a better person because of it. If you have questions for me, just ask away!

Derek

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[kc5jck]

Welcome Derek. I’ve been active on this site for about two months and since that time there have been perhaps 10-20 posts from new members. Feel free to rant and rave and ask questions. Everyone here seems to do it and we all know not to let any responses to our posts upset us. Responses here are typed on the fly and often don’t come out as intended.

I know that there are several members posting which have IQs from 125 to 150 and beyond. IQ perhaps gives an advantage, but it does not give immunity with respect to ADD.

It sounds like having identified your ADD, you are now able to address your problems and, from your post, seem to be “working yourself out of the ADD hole.” Good luck. I can identify with much of what is posted by the members, although from what I read here, I believe my ADD problems are relatively minor. But who am I to judge.

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[billd]

Wow, Derek – who is your boss – can I work there, too?

Some parts of your life were similar to mine. I was indeed Mr. Fixit, and in fact, still am. I qualify for almost anything I apply for in maintenance, mechanics, etc. I was a mechanic when I was 15, had my own repair shop for small engines/lawn mowers, was able to skip most shop classes as I already knew all the material, 1975 Plymouth troubleshooting state champion for our state, set records for the written and practical tests (but nearly failed non-shop classes except for SCIENCE) went to college and got an AA in automotive mechanics, 4.0 GPA, deans list (but was miserable in school BEFORE college)

Same for the IQ – somewhere in the 130 area if I recall…. score VERY high in reading and math, and yet those are the classes I struggled with. I’m told by the neuro-psyc that I’m in the “superior” range on those. So how can a person with the IQ, who scored always in the top 10% nationally and locally in the tests of basic skills (if anyone remembers those) and at times in the top 5%, especially with math, reading and science (not too bad in social studies either) how can one test so well, but have real serious troubles with grades in some classes in school?

I may borrow some of your thoughts for helping/aiding/compensating for my ADHD……… might just work.

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[Anonymous]

Thanks guys. After retreading that I feel a little embarrassed about all the typos. I guess that’s what happens when you try to type out a long essay on an iPad at midnight.

Any way, I’ve always wondered about the IQ tests, and have never really put much stock into it. I have friends that have IQs in the 160s, and dropped out of college. I’ve been a C/B student my whole life, but every IQ test I take suggests I should be an A student. I don’t blame any one for it, it’s no one else’s fault for not understanding what my mind is like.

And yes, I do have a good boss. He has a very similar personality to mine, and that’s kind of what got us on the topic of ADD. I asked him why he didn’t drink coffee, and he told me it was because he has ADD, and the caffeine makes his mind jump around too much. That’s when I told him that I have all the symptoms of ADD, and he shared the DVDs with me. This year at work has been a particularly bad one for me. I’m struggling at everything, and barely staying afloat. He’s trying to work with me instead of just replacing me.

Thanks for your kind words, and feel free to use any part of my story.

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