Same brain, different reaction…*sigh*

[Anonymous]

I was thinking earlier about all the cleaning and organizing I’m going to do this weekend to get my apartment into the shape that I’ve wanted it to be in for years. I was under the effects of methylphenidate at the time, so the thoughts were clear and not coming at me all at once. But I was still thinking way ahead of myself, mentally performing every task that will be necessary to reach my goal. As usual, I could not decide on a starting point!

First of all, why do I need a “starting point”? Why is it so important to me to organize and plan my actions down to the most minute detail? I’m talking about cleaning my apartment, not performing brain surgery (oh God, can you imagine that? haha). I should just be able to start anywhere and get it done. At least I think that’s how it’s usually done. I wish I could stop focusing so much on what the end result will look like and just dive right in. I drive myself crazy sometimes.

So the difference between what happened earlier today and what usually happens is simply my own reaction to my thoughts. They are still there, and they are still kind of chaotic, but the meds seem to stop the panic that the chaos usually causes. I think I was so happy about how productive and clear headed I’ve been at work this week that I expected cleaning up to be a breeze as well.

I have years of clutter piled up everywhere. I’m not yet at the point of having trails carved out of the stuff, but that’s where it was all headed when I went to seek help. For a while, I had diagnosed myself as a hoarder, but after realizing that I am able to throw things away and I’m not hanging on to stuff because I might need it at some unknown distant point in the future (as if I would be able to find it in the clutter anyway, right?). I’m not a hoarder. I’m an ADDer. I know that what took years to do will not be undone overnight, but I just get so excited thinking of the possibilities that I get overwhelmed. But with less panic.

I also wish there was a way to have the effects of the methylphenidate last until bedtime. I now have all these plans for doing what I really want to be doing (writing), but because the meds wear off when my Real Job workday ends, I’m not getting any of that done either.

See, there I go again, trying to do everything like tomorrow was my last chance to do anything.

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[Anonymous]

Hi B…….. don’t know if this helps or not. I’m a bike builder (motorcycles) and custom hot-rod builder too. Here is how I work. My shop is usually a disaster so I go out and pick up one thing (a tool ) off the floor…that leads to picking up another and another and another. Soon I have a part in my hand and I start screwing around with that…soon I’m working on what ever project is on the bench…….next thing five hours have gone by and I’ve got a ton of work accomplished.

Funny….but that’s how I seem to start most times. If I just take one step…and soon I’m putzing around… before you know it I’m actually working. Goofy eh…..seems to work for me??? No big plan just one foot in front of the other…

toofat

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[Anonymous]

I think what bothers me most (besides the current stench in here from my cat taking a dump that is stinking up the whole place–my eyes are watering!) is the thought of not being able to finish the whole cleanup in a weekend. I hate the thought of going into a new week having worked my butt off all weekend and then still coming home to a mess.

The problem is that I need to clean out the 2nd bedroom to have a place to move things out of the dining and living rooms. It becomes a massive undertaking that can have the end result of leaving me with a bigger mess than when I started.

My nephew’s gf said she would help me this weekend, so maybe I will see some improvement.

Dear God that smell is making me gag. Time to light a match.

Thanks, toofat, I enjoy reading your replies.

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[Anonymous]

Brentitude, Hey again. Yep, you could have written that for me. I too want to write, read, play guitar, do my art…but am always tooooooo busy!!! Anyway, coincidentally was cleaning up our office today. I set a 20 min timer and tried to work for a whole 20 minutes. I actually failed the first two times : } Anyway, 3rd time the charm. I did this for about 3 hours today. I’ve got more of a mess than when I started but it is on the way to a total transformation. I’ve got a few boxes of garbage, one for garage sale, about 3 to run by the rest of the family, and have a couple organized boxes…one with maps, books, travel stuff I’m still wanting, one with motorcycle and motorcycle camper-trailer stuff, one with miscellaneous goods (that will be confusing for me later), and I also managed to find all kinds of missing things. I recommend this technique. You won’t believe how long 20 minutes is : D The hardest part is getting started. I liked toofat’s approach; just pick something up.

Hope you survived the dreaded cat’s air quality control test!

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[Anonymous]

We’re probably cousins or something – haha!

I’m going to try the timer method this weekend. I’ll let you know how it goes.

PS I found out this morning that the reason the canary died last night is because the cat completely failed to bury it. That’s what I get for raising him using a Litter Maid for the first six years of his life.

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[Anonymous]

I Tot I Smelled a Kitty Cat!!!! LMAO : D

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[Anonymous]

I’m having some problems with my impulsive desire to buy things. The bad part is that I actually have the money to spend. Not that I shouldn’t be saving it for the future–and I’m not talking about buying cars or anything outrageously expensive–just that the money I’m spending isn’t taking food out of anyone’s mouth, so it’s not hard to justify it to myself. Over the past week and a half, I have bought a new laptop computer, a bracelet, two pairs of shoes and I don’t even know what all else. It’s like I suddenly get the thought in my head and I can’t rest until I go to the store and buy whatever it is. Or order it online, if I can wait two days to receive it.

To be fair though, the bracelet was actually a trade for a bracelet I had but never wear. So I didn’t spend as much money on that as I could have, and the way I see it, that other one sitting in my jewellery box collecting dust was a bigger waste. And I do need the shoes to wear to work. The lappie is the only thing I really didn’t need, but I got such a good deal on it that I couldn’t pass it up.

Do any other ADDers also have problems with Restless Leg Syndrome? I get that when I’m overtired.

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