Sent my ADHD kid to first day of high school…

[AbbyNormal]

….without his schedule or his ID or anything to write on or with!!

Okay, so it’s the first half day of school and they weren’t required to bring “anything”, according to him, because it’s a half day of orientation sessions attended with their upperclassmen student mentors.

And granted, we were both shell-shocked from having to be in the car by SEVEN A.M. because school starts at SEVEN FIFTEEN. (Our school district laughs in the face of the science that tells us teenagers body clocks do best when they get to sleep in.)

But I’m sitting here at home feeling #ADHDFail about him not at least having his ID and his schedule- surely these things will be asked about today! I hope he’s not having a tough go of it today because of these things.

Ok, so I’m probably over-worrying and over-emotional about it because he’s my baby and I just sent him to HIGH SCHOOL for the FIRST time, right?

And I do have to fight the impulse to over-identify with his struggles; I find myself with feelings of post-traumatic stress remembering much too vividly going through those kinds of struggles when I was his age.

So, this post is a way of cementing these thoughts in my mind:

• Life isn’t perfect.

• No given day or person is perfect.

• Surely he isn’t the only freshman who forgot one thing or another today, and mine left with clean clothes, clean hair, Vyvanse on board, and food in his stomach. Hopefully deodorant, too. :^)

• Mistakes are a good teacher. He’ll probably come home having gone to the office for a new schedule printout and will remember his wallet tomorrow.

:::sigh::::

Thanks for reading!

Abby

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[Anonymous]

AbbyN…..little reminder…..in case you didn’t notice he’s a young MAN…….mother’s often miss this….hahahaha….

I’m feeling you are in distress for not being a “responsible mother”……….I might have it ASS BACKWARDS…… but isn’t the goal to raise “responsible children/adults”???

So here’s a thought………that may help.

The school likely has rules and guidelines for students to follow…………the rewards and consequences of “their” actions for following those rules and guidelines are part of their development, as much as class room time…….soooooo…….to not allow them to take full charge of that part of their life…….hmmmm does them no favors, in fact it may well impede that process. I understand it is hard to sit back and watch them struggle…….but I believe, it is also integral/critical to their development, self-esteem and self-image. So maybe…….just maybe…… your job is to sit back and watch in wonder………hard as it is.

Or something like that………….

Toofat

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[laddybug3]

Oh, High School. I loved it. My wish was that school started early, because I was ready at 6:15 AM. Heck there were times when I rode my bike to school because I wanted to go to school.

Resource had helped me so much. Resource–was like a study hall, but with strict rules, tutors, and teachers. I would take out my assignment notebook (when I remembered it), sit down, and start my homework. There was times when I freaked out because the world seemed to end because I forgot my assignment notebook but wrote my homework on paper. My teacher accepted the paper with my homework written. We got graded on bring our assignment notebook. I was so worried I would forget something so I had all my books out of my locker. Only exchanged books when I went to my band locker. I had three lockers and the first day of school someone would take my combo lock off my locker, because I would for the get the combo and had to go ask someone for the combination.

Here is somethings that helped me get organized in high school:

-Purse held, my keys, wallet, ID (One day I forgot that I took my ID out of my wallet, and left it at home)

-Assignment notebook had projects. First it was colors but then I forgot which colors were important and needed to get done first and others project that I should start and due. Shapes worked best. I had so many clubs too. I was president for a club all four years.

-Folders one side was homework and important papers, and the other side was for old papers that would be used for final exam. This was hard for me, because there were times when I put papers inside the folder, but not in pocket folder.

-Time, Okay, this is going to sound strange but I put everything an half an hour early, because it took me about fifteen minutes to gather everything.

-Creative class I had to have something creative to do. For me it was band. It was my time to calm down and rewind. I learned this the hard way in college.

-Over booking, this was my down fall. I had a club every day, sometimes two. One club met at like 6:30 in the morning others met after school. Yes, mornings had clubs too. Curse me, I am a morning person. However, night time not so much.

-Social, everyone stated (teachers, parents, and social worker) that I was not that social. Meaning, after school. I was social during school, clubs. I liked the structure of clubs and gained presidency easy, but had trouble because there was a lot to do. Don’t be upset if your son decides not to go to prom. I want to a dance and it too overwhelming for me. Even though I enjoy dancing.

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[Scattybird]

AbbyNormal – so how did he get on?…..and did you survive the stress?

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[AbbyNormal]

Thanks for asking, Scattybird!

He did really well! It was ok that he didn’t have his ID with him, or his schedule. They just had some opening day talks and walked around the school together. I was very relieved and have been able to become more centered about this whole transition to h.s.

He’s had a few bumps understanding verbal directions (he also has auditory processing challenges), and isn’t quite back in the groove of “using his tools”, like writing things down and asking teachers for due date clarifications.

But, all in all, I’m proud of the leap in maturity he’s taken! I think with joining marching band over the summer and being around older kids, the freedom of high school has awakened a sense of autonomy in him and he’s so far meeting the challenge!

It’s weird, though- between him starting h.s. and my new job that has me working afternoons through early evening, I’m not home after school and sometimes not even dinner! All in all, it feels like a different life than just a few months ago. A good life, but different.

TooFat, I do see your point that it is ultimately HIS responsibility. But I think I was so distressed because I usually handle the beginning of a new skill set for him as a “behavior shaping” process, where I help him more at first then pull back gradually so he can conquer the sequence successfully with less and less help. (Can you tell I’m a special educator, or what?!) So I felt like we were both unsuccessful on that first day, but it did get better. And there is something to be said for the learning value of making mistakes. It certainly didn’t help that I was also dealing with sending my only kiddo to high school- it was a lot to process, I was very emotional that whole week.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

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