Severe Procrastination

[Anonymous]

I am sure severe procrstination wil cost me my job, as early as tomorrow, and possibily my marriage if that happens. I do take meds, they help alot as far as the “fog” has lifted, and I can consentrate much better. The one thing that has NOT improved is starting and finishing tasks, espeically a work, that I don’t feel comfortable doing. It’s bad, very bad, and getting worse. I dug a hole that is now impossible to dig out of. I have piles of undone stuff, even piles of hidden undone stuff. I live with a sick pit in my stomach knowing that this will come crashing down on me. Ofcourse I know I should have asked for help, but the thought of that humilation on top of everything is unbearable. I don’t know what to do. I should say, I know what I should have done a long time ago, but procrastinated that on a daily basis. It recently hit me that I learned to “hide” things my entire life, because I wanted people to think one way of me, and not see who I really am.

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[Wgreen]

Not that this will help you navigate your dilemma, but it helps explain what you’re up against:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wF1YRE8ff1g&playnext=1&list=PL1230CE3E082EAA40

I’m so sorry.

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[Anonymous]

@Vicki: I feel for you. I recognise everything you say so much. Fortunately my job and marriage are not on the line (I’m not married and have no job) Does your partner really understand what you’re struggling with? The video Wgreen posted made things more clear for me and maybe for your partner (and your boss) too!

I started on Ritalin a week ago and today it’s really hitting me that it may help me focus but it doesn’t help me start things… I guess that’s what therapy is for and why Ritalin is not enough… I really hope your partner and boss wil have some patience. I’ve heard Procrastination is something you can overcome 😮

For me it sometimes helps to start working on the kitchen (flylady tought me that http://www.flylady.com (shiny sink)) and when I’m finished in the kithen it’s easier for me to start any other job that needs to be done. So when i need to pay the bills I first do the kitchen.

I hope you’re ok…

(I know my english is far from perfect, I’m Dutch, not stupid)

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[Anonymous]

@Wgreen: Thanks, great video!

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[Wgreen]

Lola–Your English is GREAT! Most people don’t know how very hard it is to write fluidly in a foreign language. You do extremely well. Congratulations…on your English and your clean sink!

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[nellie]

Really interesting video Wgreen. Now which video does he explain what to do about it ?

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[nellie]

Vivki11,

I’ve been in your situation more times than I care to count – the procrastination – not the fired from work part – it got better with meds and I forgot that awful feeling for a while when everything feels like it’s crashing down around you. But recently had issues with medications and subtly before I new it I was back in that place. This time however I was able to emerge with far more clarity. I started with one step and before I knew it I was back on track. I know that sounds like a simplistic cliche but that is really what it takes. Just start somewhere -anywhere – no matter how uninspired you feel. I noticed the longer I waited to start the more anxious I became and things would get further and further behind.

From a practical advice perspective – maybe you can get sorted out at work by taking the bull by the horns so to speak. Clean out everything and catagorize by what’s not done and make a “next steps” plan. Are you familiar with idea mapping? This is a great way to figure out what needs to be done and by whom in a very visual way. By doing this you may gain additional incite and things may not look as daunting as our ADHD brains usually think they are. There may be things you can delegate. At any rate if you have a plan for how the work is to be done you will feel in control – at least that’s how it works for me.

It’s interesting also that you say that you avoid tasks that you don’t feel comfortable doing. I can relate because I often take on stuff I shouldn’t as well. I have gotten myself into some wicked procrastination situations because of it. That is a realization I came to only recently and have started to watch out for.

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[Anonymous]

That is a hole created by many factors, it just looks like procrastination.

You can get out of it if you can deal with the stuff that isn’t done. IMHO there are two ways to deal with it, first is to just get it done if you have the ability, or get help if you don’t. Thinking you can do something isn’t the same as knowing how to do it. Be honest with yourself, unload and get help doing what ever you need help with. Explain honestly what happened and what the plan is to get moving forward. If a solution is available even better, but if not just getting your best foot forward and getting going will get you there.

http://modernpsychoanalysis.blogspot.com/2006/12/false-self.html

and

http://www.ratracetrap.com/the-rat-race-trap/finding-your-true-self.html

There are always reasons for what we do, sometime we aren’t honest with ourselves and start believing our false self is right. Reconnect with your true self and rediscover happiness and fun in your life.

Good luck

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[Laura]

I SO feel for you. We have all been exactly where you are now. When you’re so far deep in the hole, then first thing (and the absolute hardest, for me anyway!) is to ask for help. For me, this brings up HUGE anxiety and even close to a panic attack, but it’s the only way to start digging your way out.

I had to withdraw from classes one semester. My husband looked at all my back-logged work and said the only way out of this is to withdraw. (I was 1000s of pages behind in reading and weeks of papers–and I was too ashamed to let anyone know. Plus, I kept “planning” to stay up all night, for several nights, to finish it all.) I never saw withdrawing as an option — only saw more organizing ideas and beating myself up for not doing what I clearly wanted to do. He actually wrote the withdrawal letter for me because I was flipping out. He even asked for a medical leave so I could work on the coping skills to finish school (I’ve managed a 3.8 GPA in graduate school) I read it then sent it. My professors were so understanding. The registrar’s office gave me the leave for an entire year so I could concentrate on therapy! I lost all that semester’s money, but regained sanity. Now, in therapy, I’m working on all those presuppositions that caused me not to seek help in the first place.

I should have asked for help LONG before the withdrawal point. I’m telling you — you can read and study all kinds of self-help books and amazing organizational websites but sometimes you just simply need someone to take your hand and walk you through it. Ask your husband, a friend, a pastor, or hire an ADHD coach and tell them you don’t know how to get out of this hole. And they WILL help!

God bless you and you will get through this — just ask someone!

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[Anonymous]

@Wgreen I’m blushing! Thanks again for the youtube link! I’ve watched them all now.

In Holland I would say: ‘They are a heart under the belt’! But I know that must sound crazy to you!

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[Anonymous]

Wow great posts here….

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[Carrie]

Wgreen! Thanks for sharing that video! Thats awesome! That has helped a lot! Thank you!

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[Wgreen]

You need to thank Librarian_Chef. She put me on to it.

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[Author]

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