She just left me

[Anonymous]

After two years, she said she didn’t know herself any more. She said I ruined so many opportunities for her. I can’t feel anything now, but I know the guilt and pain is in the post. I wanted to marry this woman.

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[Bettyboo]

Dada_rat, it is really tough when breaks up happen…make sure you are taking your medication so that you are feeling “somewhat” balanced. Keep yourself busy…go for a work out, walk, get fresh air do something to not be thinking about it every minute of the day…it’s tough and otherwise it will eat you up. acknowledge her and acknowledge your feelings – with “I” statements ex: I’m sad, I’m frustrated, I feel sick… and for now just acknowledge the situation. this sucks. I would say avoid making any rash decisions….I don’t know your full situation, but what I do know is that as much as this hurts 5 hrs ago it can get better if you acknowledge yourself first – how you feel: mentally, physicaly…take care of yourself first even though you want to do anything and everything to get her to come back.. I truly believe take responsibility for your actions, thoughts and beliefs because you can’t take responsibility for her thoughts, beliefs and actions – there here’s and she walks in her own shoes and you can’t walk in hers…you both need your own shoes>

Hang in there you will be fine….breath, breath breath….

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[Anonymous]

Hey Dada_rat

I ve been there guy Elizabeth is totally on cue. I had no clue I had ADHD at the time and it really messed me up for a year or so. Read what she wrote it’s about you and not about her you need to look at you and keep on track go even talk to somebody about it but focus on your own HAPPINESS. that where it all starts.

It’s tough but you have to remember you need to be happy with you before you can make any other situation happy. Join a gym learn about yourself, and if you do talk with her REMEMBER keep it to “I” statements it’s not about her anymore it’s all about YOU.

Your going to pull through and your going to be okay but keep the focus on Dada_rat. He’s what’s important

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[Anonymous]

move on… that dog ain’t worth your thoughts anymore. Life ain’t bout dwelling on the past. Remember the happy times, move on and make more happy memories.

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[Anonymous]

Just remember, though it may be hard to see right now, this will pass and life will get better. And also remember not to blame yourself for everything. Harsh things can be said when feeling are hurt, and people are being defensive. It’s not all your fault, don’t beat yourself up. You will make it though this.

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[Anonymous]

@sheepcrab91

The man wanted to marry this woman<

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[Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD]

Sorry to hear this dada rat.

This is the worst feeling. Been there. I suppose many of us have. I actually did marry the woman. And divorced her after 15 years. I was the first person in my extended family to divorce.

Brutal. Felt like a failure. Even now, typing, some of it comes up… I should have, could have, if only…

A mostly I can let that go. A decade later I can see why it wasn’t working. And even my kids have told me they know I’m happier, in a better relationship, and where I should be.

But that’s now.

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[lou2]

My suggestion is to find a way not to blame yourself and learn to understand your ADD.  I once wanted to marry someone, but it didn’t work out, and because I couldn’t forgive myself, I pined for 7 or 8 years, not allowing myself to be open to another relationship.  This was in my 30’s.  Not a good time in life.

Since discovering I have ADD, and my emotional roller coaster, I realize my high anxiety level couldn’t let me be open and honest in the relationship, and my fixation on the relationship couldn’t let me move on when the fellow did.

Looking back, this was a sad wasteful period of my life.

 

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[blackdog]

@lou2

Hi, welcome to T.A.D.D. 🙂

That is great advice. Sadly, it’s something we all seem to learn too late in life. And even knowing how our ADD affects us it’s still hard to see when we are caught up in the situation. And anyone, with or without ADD, can get stuck and be unable to move on after experiencing a traumatic event.

My entire life up to this point could be described as sad and wasteful. So I can relate. The trick is to let go of that sad, wasteful past and work on making things better in the present. Something that is easier said than done. But I’m working on it.

Hopefully things are going better for you now. 🙂

 

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[lou2]

Thanks Black Dog.  I am working on it.

I did eventually marry rather late in life and have a wonderful son as a result.  Lucky me.

Best wishes to you.

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