So many choices!

[Carrie]

Im at a crossroad here! Life is just starting for me. I did things backwards. I was a silly teen who got pregnant in grade 12… Now have 2 wonderful kids, an amazing husband (the father of my kids), a house, and a new career. Things went by quickly… and life has been a blur. I didn’t have time to really be a kid since I was a mom so fast, and have no interest in it. However, as the silly teen I was and young mother, never had time to stop and think about life. In fact it never crossed my mind! I am now thinking about life. What do I want from life? What can I do? What is life about?

There are so many options out there, so many different things to experience and do… So many different jobs… different places to live… I can’t make up my mind! I could go up north and make the big bucks and get ahead! Or I would love to move to say Australia or Ireland for a year! Or move to the city and go to university and become a psychologist! A passion of mine! Or I could stay here in my home and make it the home of my dreams! Its a nice big house, I have a great job, my husband has a job here… None of these options are easy to do, but I believe if you really want something, and work hard enough, you can achieve it! Problem is…. what do I want to work hard for? Life is short… I dont want to spend all my time thinking about all these options and then BAM times up! Should of made up my mind long time ago! Missed opportunities! But I just can’t make up my mind! I figure maybe I should stop and think about what I want out of life… But I dont even know where to begin!

What are you experiences? What do you want out of life? How does one make up their mind??

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[Anonymous]

Hi Carrie…… I can’t answer for you but here was my simple life plan. I’m now sixty and I have no regrets and a very full life. Here is how I did it.

At a younger age I set out my life plan…..wow sounds daunting right….. nope it’s very simple.

I was about 20-ish at the time so I asked myself……. Where do I want be at 25….30…….40……50….60????

I made a very short notes about three or four bullets and beside each bullet one or two words that described where I wanted to be at those stages.

Here it is below – simple milestones, very simple. Besides living my life and having great fun along the way, I took care (always) that I was on this path. Here it is……

25 yrs – be in the door at a good job – married – start on a savings plan – have purchased house

30 yrs -off the tools in the office – family started – retirement fund started – have most of the house paid down

40 yrs – in management – family finished – own my home – good retirement fund

50 yrs – family grown and on their own – secure $$$$ – retire – go south for the winter….enjoy…..wooohooo

Missed by one year I retired at 51….. opps.

It’s a simple simple plan I know but, I find it’s hard to know if your on the right coarse without a map. It can take just a few minutes out of one’s life to document…and the rest of your life to execute, but those simple milestones gave me monsterous satisfaction…. with no regrets. It was direction and things to be mindful of along the way.

Good luck Carrie… I hope that helps. It worked for me simple as it is…… I’m not real smart so I needed a map!!!!

toofat

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[laddybug3]

@toofat I planned my life to a tee, but it didn’t work out like the plan I had.

18-24 get college degrees, BA in biology, Environmental studies MA in Environmental studies

25 get job

26 get married

28 have first kid

30 have second kid

32 have a kid

34 my last kid

35-40 Take a class in something, or explore a different field

50+ retire/volunteer

The real world

18 got into my second choice. Majored in music

19 Dropped Music English

20 Biology

21 (dropped biology and took a semester off) got internship

22 Changed majors to English

23 Dropped English (sadly) Majored in Liberal studies ( my advisors stated that I fitted this major) graduated with BA in Liberal studies. Didn’t get into grade school. So there goes my major plans. Looking for a job and thinking about going back to get an MA in Liberal studies main focus in Environmental studies, English, and music.

24-Will be at the end of March.

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[Anonymous]

Hey carrie–maybe it’s as simple as thinking about what makes you smile? Have someone watch your face when you’re thinking of different options and tell you when you “light up” Maybe that would give you a way to begin to narrow things down. Good luck! by the way, I’m impressed with everyone’s “life plans” That never worked for me!

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[Anonymous]

carrie, if you wanna go to ireland or australia for a year, try and do it before you’re 35- you can get a student gap year ‘1 year working holiday’ visa (even if you’re not a student) – either do it yourself or through an agency like swap.org- which is much much much easier than trying to apply for a job internationally, getting sponsored by an employer for a work visa, etc.

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[Anonymous]

Hi Carrie…life does get in the way….for sure…..but I see you do have a plan. You have a direction and are driving that way. I was a Psych Major…. was wanting to open my own service. However, I too left University un-finished slight change in detail but the overall plan remained the same. Flexibility in life details did not change the over arching plan and goals. I did continue to go to university all of my working career, continued my Psych education…have never finished my degree yet but…… over all it worked.

My overall direction was true and I really wanted to get to my end goal…… so I stayed the course. As I indicated life throws many obstacles in front us but that is the fun and exciting part. I find if I have no overall direction……how do I know if I am on course…. how do I steer…to what end???

Hahahahaha….. don’t let me mis-lead you there are more diversions than I can count in between……I could write a book!!! Hahahaha.

No matter how far I strayed, I still had my compass. Dates are targets…. milestones are the same. Sometimes too much detail in a plan can be discouraging…. if I look at your plan at a higher level view, it appears you are still steering in your initial direction. Good for you!!! Bumps I feel in road tell me I’m still traveling……

Carrie, I don’t propose this is for everybody……this is me. This is my story…. we each have one.

Sail on!!!!!

toofat

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[nellie]

Carrie,

This is an area I’ve been paying a lot of attention to myself since “discovering” that I have ADD. I have learned that goals in and of themselves are not the end destination. Once you achieve them it seems there’s always something else to achieve.. For example, I thought once that when I had a degree that would be “it.” There have been many such experiences throughout my life.

What ultimately made more sense to me was that I had to define what my life values are and then the rest falls in to place. Essentially once you know what truly is important to you then the choices you make and the goals you set become much easier to carry out. Sometimes the answer comes by asking yourself the basic question why – why is this this important to me?

If you define and rank your values they become a meter by which to make decisions, be they simple day to day related or more complex. For example, should you become the PTA president – is community volunteerism high on your list of values or will it interfere with something more important to you – say family relationships?

Or, should you say, take a job running an NGO in Africa for the United Nations and move away for you family for a year? Perhaps this would be great for your resume and fits in with a value like “to make a difference in the world,” but how does that hold out against some of your other values? If someone placed love at the top of the list this choice might not fit in.

“They” say one should narrow it down to 5 top values. There are a lot of sites online that deal with this issue, but here are a few fun links to get started. I found it to be an enlightening process.

This one has an interacting ranking tool – pretty fun

http://www.career-test.biz/values_assessment.htm

These two have interesting articles to help clarify the concept and get you started:

http://www.suite101.com/content/the-values-based-life-a21013

http://www.explorelifeblog.com/journal/2007/7/9/what-are-your-top-10-values.html

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[Carrie]

Toofat and Laddybug – I love your life plans and how they played out! It always helps me to see an example and picture of things to make sense!

Toofat – Your absolutely right! I like to have those “dates” in place….. Thats what Im missing! and I find I REALLY need something to work towards a motivation! There have been many bumps in my road yes.. and have been kicked off the horse lots (or being stubborn, jumped off hahaha) but always found my way back on. Never easy… and still isnt! But am learning, and love it!

Jen – Thanks for the information! I really want to make living in Australia for a year something that WILL happen. Same with Ireland. I just want my kids to see this world is bigger than our little secluded valley. Australia isnt too different from out culture, but its somewhere different!

Fidgit and Nellie – Ive been thinking about this lots. What matters to me? There MUST be more to life then making money, saving it, and then retiring and loving life! You nailed it on the head Nellie. Thanks for the awesome links!! Its just really hard for me to sit and think of everything that matters and what my true motives are when they all move so fast! hahaha Im thinking maybe after a while of trying to sort out what I want from life, if it still doesnt work, see someone about it. Maybe a counselor to help me organize this brain!

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[Anonymous]

Nellie…I agree entirely with your position…. this for me, is, and has been for most of my life….. the essence.

This is what guides my heart…..

Very nicely put……

toofat

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[Author]

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