So restless you wanna be sick? Memories of childhood

[Anonymous]

So when I was a young student in high school and university the hardest times for me were exams. Not because I didn’t know the answers but because I had to SIT in one place for two to three hours straight. Thinking back I still remember that overwhelming feeling I would get. About 45 minutes into an exam I would start to feel dizzy, and nauseous- very, very sick to my stomach. I was always afraid I would faint or be physically sick. I wanted nothing more than to be able to get away from the seat,even for a moment. I would rush through exams, just so I could stand up and MOVE.

I NEVER, EVER told anyone at the time- I knew there was something wrong with me, but how could I explain that kind of sensation to someone else?? It was hard enough to sit through a regular class (which I rarely ever did) but hours in one place- I still get that feeling…. and avoid it at all cost.

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[laddybug3]

I took a summer course, and most of the stuff was online. I worked with the professor along with disabilities on test and quizzes. One exam I freaked out and could not get pass the first question. The funny thing is when I thought okay breath and go to the next question, I somehow finished the test. I looked at the clock it only took me 10 minutes. That is when panic took over and I checked the exam seven times, by the time I checked the exam 30 minutes went by. The exam looked okay and I turned it in. I should mention this was a final exam, which I scored 99.5 on my highest final ever.

Then there was a lab, which I had a panic attack. That was fun (not really). I over study, couldn’t eat anything for the day, and I was boarder line C and D. I needed the C. A classmate noticed I was breathing uneven, she checked my pulse which was elevated, she was a premed student. So she calls the professor over because she was afraid that I would blackout. I did just that. Long story short, I woke up and refused to go to the nurse and I was taking the lab practical one way or another. I later dropped the major. My professor also felt bad because she could not set up in ODS (that is where I took most of my exams in college).

One of my professors got tired of seeing the page #, date of publication, title, and chapter on the exam. I even included notes, previews quizzes, movies, speech, you named it I cited it. He then got upset that I remember reading it but couldn’t put it my own words, or I had the right information but that was not what the question was asking for. Questions on exams tended to change. My mom would go over ever test or quiz from grade school to 10th grade. She never understood why the questions changed and I could never explain it myself. I guess I was lucky that I knew I had ADD, early. Still, sometimes, I wished I could done a presentations and eliminate all exams, and quizzes.

I had an 8th grade teacher give me a totally different test then everyone else, for the reason I knew it but couldn’t explain it. The test I got was different and I would get so much: rage, anger, disappointed at myself, because I could not take a normal exam like my peers. My teacher caught on and she would let me do the test that everyone had. The twist was if I got a question wrong she gave up part of her lunch time to see if I didn’t know it or I misread the question. I was happy that I want to a private school from preschool all the way to 8th grade, even if they didn’t really have a disability center. Something that my mom regrets not looking into a private school with more of a disability awareness. I always tell her it made me look at the problem and figure out what I needed, even if I felt stupid for asking for it.

My professors use to mention how impressed they were that I asked to explain this or that. I even had a class, that only lasted a week were we took an exam everyday. It was the worse class ever, because I was so stressed out and the professor tried to claim me down. Each test or quiz was about things we should now. The last question was what is your last name, but I didn’t get enough time to get there. That was the thing about this class they didn’t want to extend the time. It was straggles to take quizzes and exams, but mostly for me it was about claiming myself down. The next course was my favorite time management.

I did get help, eventually. I ended up going to consoling center for my test anxiety.

Wow I wrote a lot.

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[Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD]

When we do our workshops we try and arrange for a space at the back of the room for people who want to pace, or need to. But the workshops are so interesting and we get people up and moving for parts of it, so the ‘pacing space’ rarely gets used.

Question: How do you watch movies? Or do you?

Is there any activity or event where you don’t get restless? Video games? Watching TV?

And Ladybug, I know anxiety is deadly. It kind of paralyzes the mind. Funny, what causes me anxiety is paperwork. (We had to go to the bank this morning to sign some stuff, and when we were just about to leave, the bank manager saw that a piece of paper we’d been waiting for had arrived, so he asked, “Do you have an extra two minutes so we can get this done now?” Coming back would have taken another half hour out of my day, and we were not in a rush, but boy, did I want to get up and go. My mind was already out the door. I took a deep breath, reminded myself there was nowhere to get, and said, “Sure.”

But boy, that pressure to move…

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[Anonymous]

my restlessness channeled into one thing schematics i still have many 90page notebooks(30 pages whiten on max) of drawings most have no labels let alone actual words. most of my figgtiting was stopped by a great teacher (3-6 grade) and her jolly rancher training the longer i stayed on task with out distractions. she would get my attention and the throw one to me, beside this “treat”

training i now have perfect hand eye at 30ft or less.

rick,

how i watch movies or TV W/ family is that i sit in a recliner that has a massage function if i feel the ache to move i turn it on and fiddle with the settings for 5 to 10 min and the urge gos away. and for one show(NCIS) i ritualized it by sitting in a jacuzzi tub with a TV on the other side of the glass door total ADD sensory deprivation only things to play with is soap shampoo and a drink i bring with me so i get tunnel vision to the TV, by the next day i find that i had a 80% recall of everything said/done in the episode.

and as far as video games goes i lock up and don’t know that it is 7hr later

PS

at ham radio antenna raising and Field Day me and my friends recite the mans prayer (to subdue Murphy law).

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