Spa Torture!!!

[wiredonjava]

I think the worst gift someone with ADHD can receive is a spa treatment package. Correct me if I’m wrong but I spent a day of complete torture having a stranger tell me to put a robe on so they could irritate the heck out of me for 5 hours and control my environment. I do not like having to lay still and have someone unpredictable manipulate my body and push my cuticles back. I do not appreciate someone cutting my nails or fussing over me all day. I resented the wasted time thinking of all the other things I could be doing instead and I feel this is far from relaxing. Is this typical behavior or am I out in left field as usual? I wish I knew beforehand so I could have donated this gift to somebody would could have enjoyed this so-called pampering. Bad memory! Ugg. Can anyone else relate?

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[wiredonjava]

P.S. sorry for complaining about a stupid ‘first world problem’. It’s Christmas afterall. Oh well, live and learn.

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[Patte Rosebank]

@Wiredonjava, we ADDers are often more sensitive to stimuli, including touch, so I can completely understand why a spa day could be torture for you.

Don’t blame yourself. If you’d never had a spa day before, then you had no way of knowing what it would involve, or how you would react to it. So, it wasn’t a total loss: you learned that it’s not a good situation for you.

And you can find a way to turn it into a bit of a joke (maybe by taking your description of the experience into hyperexaggeration), to let people know that you’re one of those people who actually get freaked out by this supposedly-relaxing experience, so they don’t give you another spa day.

(Hey, I get freaked out on laughing gas, while everyone else seems to find it lovely and floaty and relaxing.)

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[wiredonjava]

Hey thanks Larynxa. You do have the best advice I’ve noticed. I always see your posts on the live webinars and can tell you are well read. Perhaps you could offer professional help to others for a living , write a book and become rich and famous from your experience? If so, then I cannot afford you -lol, so thanks for being a supportive friend to me. It does feel lonely at times having ADHD and being like a square peg in a world full of round holes. Can you tell me any books you’ve read recently? I have a Sari Solden on my nightstand and started Ed Hallowell’s too. I got your message about hormones and will try some of those suggestions! Thanks so much 🙂 TTYL. p.s. are you in the Hamilton area?

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[Patte Rosebank]

@Wiredonjava, funny you should say that…

I’m learning to be an ADHD Coach, though what I really want to do is give presentations and write articles. I never would have imagined doing this, but Rick noticed I had a knack for it, from reading my posts here, and suggested it to me.

I’ve taken courses, and started setting up my coaching business, but I’ve been bogged-down in my old beliefs for a while. Now that we’re starting a new year, I’m more determined to work through them, with a couple of Coaches, so I can get out there and shed a little light and laughter into the dark corners of ADHD. Becoming rich-ish and famous-ish would be fringe benefits. It means a lot more to me to be able to really connect with a room full of people, and help them to understand their ADHD, and to feel better about it. I’ve done this a few times, and it feels so right to me.

As for books, my favourites are: “ADD Stole My Car Keys” (I still find surprises in it), Elaine Aron’s “The Highly Sensitive Person” (explains so much about me and my mom), Dr. Charles Parker’s “The New ADHD Medication Rules” (so fascinating that I devoured most of it in one sitting), and Melissa Orlov’s “The ADHD Effect on Marriage” (I’m a confirmed singleton, but it explains so much about my parents’ toxic marriage…though they refuse to read it, which is sad).

I’m in Toronto, but I do occasionally venture out to Hamilton, to visit Denniger’s and Ann’s Fabrics. Toronto may have a lot of things, but it doesn’t have Denninger’s or Ann’s!

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[Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD]

Yes Larnyxa has great advice.

We also have a video on being overly sensitive to sight, sound, touch, etc.   As well as overly emotional and overly sensitive to others.  It’s not an issue I thought much about when I was first diagnosed.  Recently I realized, “This is why I don’t like beaches. The feel of the sand drives me nuts.”

http://totallyaddshop.com/products/adhd-emotional-sensitivity#.VKXLtktHE8M

By the way, for Christmas my wife gave me a day at a spa.  It’ll be interesting. I think mentally preparing myself will be wise… Tee Hee.

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[Patte Rosebank]

Thanks, @Rick!

Though I’m not a touchy-feely person, in the right circumstances, I quite enjoy it.

When I was at the ADDA conference in Florida, this past summer, I found that getting a massage at the hotel’s spa was one of the most relaxing experiences I’ve ever had…especially after the stress of travelling to Florida in the summer heat, and checking into the crowded hotel.

Here in Toronto, I found a fantastic massage therapist, who used to work at a circus—so you can imagine the kind of injuries she had to soothe!

In my experience, when you have the kind of heightened sensitivities that we ADDers do, the key is to tell the massage therapist, up-front. Even if you don’t, the massage therapist will tell you to let them know if anything feels uncomfortable, and will ask you during the massage, if the pressure is okay.

Don’t hesitate to speak up! Their job is to make you feel better than when you came in. If you don’t tell them they’re hurting you or making you uncomfortable, how will they know?

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[Fochaosed]

Yes, I agree – that would be torture – the touchy stuff and wanting to be using that time doing something else.

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