starting my new life

[dspicelady]

Hi everyone! I’ve been gone a long time. Hope some of you remember me? I went back to school to get my credentials for early childhood education. I found that life was so busy (between work, family and our family business) that I didn’t get here very often.
I just finished my last semester. I’ve been offered two jobs. Yay me! But I’m stuck as to what to do. School was easy. Take this course, then that course. Due dates, outlines. All laid out for me. Now the real world is here. I don’t know what to do. I keep telling myself to relax and it will work itself out, but……
As many of you probably experience, the thrill is in the challenge. I’ve completed my challenge (still surprised I didn’t get bored long ago and quit). I’ve even been wildly successful at the challenge. 3.98 GPA! (I guess when I throw myself into something, I’m all in!).
I’m scared to death that when I get out there I won’t care anymore. The challenge is over, the reality is that now I have to produce. It’s great being a student; being wowed over for being so clever. Being in charge and expected to plan and implement without all of the structure in place has me wanting to run for the hills. I feel as though I’m placing all kinds of expectations on myself and that has me paralyzed. I’m never sure if the expectations are mine or someone else’s. Usually blame others.
My therapist asked me what I planned on doing next. Huh? Haven’t I done enough for now? But I realize that he knows me pretty darn well. I need a project. As soon as my last assignment was sent in, I started looking through the courses. That was the only thing that calmed my terror at being ready for the world. Maybe I can stay a perpetual student?
So these two different jobs…one is more part time with the possibility of supervisor status in the not too distant future. The other is full time with very low expectations for performance. I seemed to be leaning to that one. Fear that I may not be as good as my marks indicate? The first one is more professional. The second one…maybe if I am any good, I can make a difference?
If any of that makes sense. I guess I’m stuck between taking the job that has more hours and little expectations (will allow me to shine) or the one where I won’t work as much, but more expectations (will I be able to shine?). Money is not an issue at this point.
Thanks for letting me vent. I know you can’t tell me what to do; that’s on me, but I appreciate you for “listening”. Any thoughts that will boost my confidence and self-esteem, of course, all welcomed with open arms!

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[kc5jck]

Go for the first job.

You are motivated.  Otherwise, you would never have gone back to school.  You are intelligent and diligent, otherwise you would not have a 3.98 GPA.  (Good for you!)

Did you go to school to land a job with longer hours and fewer expectations?  If so, why did you bother to maintain a 3.98 GPA?

I would say that the second job smells of boredom and burnout, the first of gaining experience valuable in advancement or switching to a more desirable job or employer.

Don’t sell yourself short.  You may have learned enough in school to realize how much there is that you haven’t learned, and are questioning your abilities on that basis.  You don’t need to know all the answers, just where or how to get them.  You did well in school, you should do well in the work force, or at least better than those in your class that didn’t score as well.

The first job will give you more time to . . .

search for answers and become better in your field

look for another job better to your liking

spend time with your cat .  .  .  or adopt one

get on Totally ADD.com and tell us how awesomely you are doing at work and encourage others

 

Another thing to consider:  Most people just let things happen to them and don’t consider what they really want in their professional career . . . or in life for that matter.  Consider your ideal job, what you want in life, have an idea of a goal.  Make a list of things you want.  Plan your career and future so that they move you towards this goal.

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[sdwa]

I just want to say congratulations on doing so well in school. That’s huge. I know for myself, I often don’t take the time to sit back and appreciate all the work that I have done or how much I have accomplished…so I guess I’d encourage you to first give yourself a pat on the back. 3.98 is great work. And you should be proud. That’s something you can take with you always.

As for the job options…I can totally appreciate what kc5jck is saying about going for the challenge, something that will keep you on the edge enough to push yourself to achieve more – which I seem to recall is how school works, and since you were good at it, maybe that’s a good thing.

My first reaction was different, because I seek comfort and peace of mind (ha ha, that never happens, but I’d like for it to happen)…and I truly want to be where who I am as a person is okay, where I feel accepted, and where I feel like I have something to offer that matters. So I can definitely see the appeal of Door #2.

I’ve done some things I never thought I could do, and I guess I’m glad I pushed myself – although for me they never paid off monetarily. I’ve tried very hard at many things that never gave me recognition, advancement, a career, or money – even though in some cases I thought they would. That’s why I tend to lean toward what gives me the greatest sense of vitality for its own sake, where I can expect to experience the most satisfaction in the moment, while I’m doing it.

But it might be worth going for the bigger job, which, if it doesn’t work out, will tell you more about your capabilities than what seems like the easy path.

I seem to perform well when I’m in a little bit over my head, as long as making progress is in my hands. Maybe that’s a common feature for people with ADHD. Anyway, again, congratulations, and I wish you the best with whatever you decide. Maybe it’s a tough choice because either one would be good.

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[dithl]

Hey, congrats! Great field to go into — the children always keep you thinking. I agree — a good challenge is more likely to keep you engaged and happy. Someone started up a Teachers with ADHD group here — if it gets busy, it might be a good place to go to for support with being the one to create/plan structure rather than just thrive in structure provided by someone else. Feel free to message me, I’m teaching kindergarten, and constantly working on that issue, always experimenting with new ways to provide external structure for myself so I can lean on it to provide a stable, engaging environment for the children. A huge blessing for me has been working with an ECE in the classroom — and we are unbelievably compatible as co-educators. I still feel like I have a ways to go, but happy to share what works for me:) Oh — and the cool thing in early years? You still get wowed over — just at more random times, and just for being you. Little creatures are the BEST at that! <3

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[Patte Rosebank]

@Dspicelady, welcome back!
I’m facing a similar decision to yours. A management job is opening up at the place where I work. The job description sounds so exciting and challenging and right up my alley right now! True, I don’t have all the qualifications “on paper”, but I have most of them “from life”, and I know where to find out whatever information I might be missing…and the people I’d be reporting to have had four years of seeing how I work and what I thrive on.
And what I thrive on is the added responsibility of organizing projects and people, and being able to spot a problem (often before it even happens), figure out how it happened, come up with several possible solutions, present the whole package to the people in a position to make it happen, and help them to make it happen.
This new job would have plenty of that. But it would also have long hours and plenty of potential hassles; and having the qualifications “on paper” *would* give me more confidence to deal with them…
In the past, I’d have focussed only on what I *don’t* have, and not even applied for the job. But now, I see that I really do stand a chance, and that it’s a terrific opportunity. Besides, even if I don’t get it, I have a feeling who probably *would*, and that would leave *their* job open…a job which I did for several months, while *they* were on leave.
So, of course, I applied!

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[dspicelady]

I am so glad to be back with all of you wonderfully supportive and WISE people. I want you all to know that I appreciate you taking the time to read and respond. I have taken everything in and will let you know how it unfolds.

@kc5jck “Most people just let things happen to them” Guilty as charged. I don’t want to just let it happen to me. Not anymore. That’s why I’m struggling with the decision. Thank you for giving me so much to think about.

@sdwa I too achieve better results when I…1. procrastinate, 2. get in over my head and 3….forgot that one, sorry. but I also find that I no longer want to thrive on this form of stress. It worked for me when I was younger, but now I just can’t handle it as well. I experience extreme burnout when I function at that stress level for too long. I know I was reaching the end of my limits this past few weeks. I had even considered quitting full-time and just taking the last courses one at a time, before starting this last semester.
@ dithl Joined the group. Thanks for the support. I was told at my last evaluation that I should be in the schools. Unfortunately, in our board, you gotta know the right people and I don’t know anyone! But you never know what will present itself.
@larynxa My fingers are crossed for you! Let us all know how it goes with the job.

Thanks again everyone. I’ll be here lurking. Love reading all of the posts.

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[trashman]

Hi, I remember you!!! I also would love to say congrats and great grade’s!!!!!!

WELCOME BACK!!!!!!!!!

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[dspicelady]

@trashman. Thank you! You made my day for remembering me.

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[dspicelady]

Update!
So after worrying so much, I found out that the one of the jobs has a few more perks than I had thought. I’m taking the one with less hours, but more of a future. It was a tough decision since I had been leaning toward the other job, but I will be working with people I respect (this wasn’t really the case with the other one).
So thanks again to everyone for allowing me to vent. Sometimes just writing it out and putting it out there can help clarify things.

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[seabassd]

@dspicelady,

Good job weighing the options before coming to a decision. It’s not easy especially when both option have various appealing aspects.

Happy for you! 🙂

 

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[Patte Rosebank]

@Dspicelady, isn’t it nice to have to choose between multiple job offers?

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