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  • Anonymous
    Inactive
    #88164 |

    I have had ADD for as far back as I can remember in Kindergarten.. They always used to say at the school I was too emotional, a daydreamer, I could do better etc.. I am sure you know the routine by now. By chance I came upon Driven To Distraction book by Hallowell in 1998, when I was working for a Parenting Center in Washington State.. I was like Oh MY Gawd how does he know my life story? So this is what it is.. Since then I have been put on Social Security Disability for depression.. and with 2 college degrees not being utilized it is even more depressing. I cannot seem to get my life together and live alone.. and I do not expect anyone to deal with this ADD.. My grandson HAS been diagnosed with it and I think my older daughter has it.

    Being that I only have medicaid it is very hard to find a Specialized Therapist and someone that can actually assist me here in Albany NY.. Nevermind diagnose me. I fought in a day treatment program to prove I had ADD and even took a 4 hour computerized test to try to get some solutions. Since then I have moved and I am trying to get medical records to continue onwards..

    I fell in love with another ADD’er… but had to move away because I could not deal with the cold in New Hampshire… and before I left I gave him the Driven to Distraction book.. Well we did the quiz together, just to try to see if he might have ADD… He has NO Insurance and is on unemployment. Since reading the book he is seeking someone up there to help him as well..

    It can get highly frustrating to know that you have ADD and not be able to get support and a diagnosis so you can move on… I know that the characteristic, go side by side with some other mental illness’s. It is really hard to know you are unique and different and want to get your life in order.. make plans and then have them fail over and over again and then blame yourself or your disability…

    I am sure there are others out there that are in similar situations and I just wanted to let you all KNOW that you are not alone… !!!

    On the other hand dealing with ADD is not easy at all.. and it seems some people will stigmatize you because of your disabilty and then you ask yourself.. Do I tell them or just let them think I am nuts..

    I know for a fact some people do not even recognize ADD as a problem.. I have had others tell me you’ll get over it… your just making excuses.. you do not need any medicine.. just think positive and live in the here and now…

    LOL hard for some of us ADD’er to do.. It seems that most of the clinicians are dealing with children with ADD.. If I could find a reasearch clinic doing ADD testing I would go in a heartbeat.. so far that is the only solution I have been able to find… as there are not many specialist of ADD and/or they do not take medicaid….

    Otherwise.. I feel this site is the BEST dang site I have seen so far on ADD and I cannot wait till it expands…!!!!

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    #91842 |

    i am just on meds for bout two months,(strattera) started on 18mg and now increased to 25mg..i not sure if its helped my concerntation, dont thinks so as i still jump like maniac frpom one thing to then next and can never finish anythin, i do have tiny bit more patience for others and am little less frustrated but i think it too early to notice big change, though people around me say i am bit easier to be around and not so hyperactive and that i can maintain a conversation to some degree without burning thier ears with my motor mouth,, i actually find innatentives side to my adhd so troublsome too, i cant finish anythin and have terrible organising skills, i cant hold a job down and i now have a fear of jobs because of my pattern of droppin out of them all the time and i find it hard to be in work environment.. i also feel i cant be myself as peopl close to me always sayin i am so hyper when in my mind i am in good spirits and then i become so concious of how i am that i am constantly tryin to control it and i get real low because it such a struggel to put a lid on it. does anybody else feel that they cant be themselves becasue others constantly highlight lots of thier traits,? it is crushin me and has done for years.. i have only just been diagnosed few months ago and i am 35. i feel almost afraid of doing anything, even things i enjoy or hyperfocus on becaus i reach a point where i move verry quickly on to the next thing..i am living adhd and not loving it really..i still getting my head round the fact its taken this long to get diagnosed even though all my schools had said all the classic things to me, daydream,spaced out , disruptive in class, not doing as well as i could and verry poor concerntration etc etc..life has been verry s***..and i have seen lots of positive stuff on the net but im struggling to find the positve of being adhd at the moment..its too early for meds to have made big diffrence..its good to have this site, i hope it is a success as its terroble being isolated so long and i like to hear others who share my experience or have some positives to say, thankyou

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    #91843 |

    It’s funny how teachers at school love to encourage kids to ask as much as possible, but when someone actually asks it’s not really wanted after all. Even if none of the other kids ask anything, the teacher soon grows tired of that one kid (with ADHD) who does ask.

    Did anybody watch the video where this specific issue is touched on?

    I always used to think i WAS the way he says: More energetic, etc..

    It’s also true that you never hear about the good sides to your nature or personality, and that has a quite negative effect on you, especially if you’re alone and growing up on institutions, having no support in life.

    I have to admit I’ve come to believe that I’m simply lazy. In a way I know I’m not, because I remember short periods where I’ve managed well and loved being active and productive, and in fact were almost unstoppable.

    Still, it’s hard to shake that feeling of being lazy and just a bit stupid. And some of the reasons for this is that I have this distinct feeling that I could do so much more, if only some things were changed in my life.

    *******

    Kajira,

    I can relate to what you write, and yet my situation have been a bit different, because the H in ADHD has been very dominating.

    And yes, I think it’s the best site I’ve found too. It is the site where I found the most helpful information, and I’m still trying my hardest to get it through to the psychiatrist I’m signed up with. Sadly, it’s very difficult to make anybody in my state listen to anything. People here don’t believe much in grown ups having ADHD/ADD, and it’s next to impossible to get any decent treatment, even if you have experience with drugs that help you (I’ve had to go on the black market to get drugs, but have stopped doing this because it’s so unsafe. So I’m living a half life again).

    *******

    chips,

    I have tried Strattera, but it I had very strong cold sweat and had to quit in less than two weeks.

    However, you mention no side effects, so I will just say that this drug is supposed to take effect after a while.

    It is in fact a drug made on the same principles as anti depressants, and that is why it will usually take between 3 to 6 weeks before you can really tell it is working as intended.

    good luck with it. ^^

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    #91844 |

    hey thanks for your reply! i had sweats too or rather really strong smelling sweat, embarrassing and alot more sweating than usual but its now easing off alittle..i felt dreadfull for about a week too and thought i cant keep taking this anymore, my head ached so bad and i felt realy sick but i feel i am passed that hump now,i dont feel like i have taken anythin now.. i feel little less aggitatted and am able to listen to others for short moments at a time but it hasn drastically improved concerntrtation, i feel just a little less frustrated. if i have missed a day or too as i forget sometimes then i get real hyper and start flittin form one thing to the next again so it makes me see how much it calms me even though i still do get hyper and chop and change topics and forget things..i still would really like to have better concerntration so i can finish things i start. i still am confused alot of the time but again i guess its still early days, i am on a low dose too still so thats probably why its only small change, still id rather have little change than none at all..its a process i guess..thank goodness for this site too..im glad to hear others who struggle the same and hear how they cope, it gives me hope, so thankyou!

    LeoGetsU
    Member
    #91845 |

    I was diagnosed about three or four years ago myself.

    And when i found out i had ADHD, it kinda put things i’ve done, and my personality traits into some kind of perspective.

    Up until then i pretty much just silently accepted myself as being “Kinda Slow” a “Late Bloomer.”

    Friends and family have always known me as the expressive, artistic one.

    Always into singing, and movies, always a “Dreamer.”

    For awhile i felt i was special, kinda like i was in a class of my own, and i carried that thought around with such pride, and

    every time i thought of it i’d smile because i believed i was unlike everyone around me, i was distinct, i wasn’t gonna end up in a boring job

    that i dreaded every day. I was gonna become someone special who rose above the mondane existence most people end up in, you know, the day job, the stress, the bills, the responsibilities, the BOREDOM !!

    And those thoughts are still with me today.

    It’s just that now, i don’t feel so special.

    I don’t feel like i’m heading anywhere at all.

    I’m very hard on myself now, i’ll catch myself acting a certain way, which presents me as being kinda stupid, and i shut myself up thinking people are probably judging me right now cause i certainly am.

    I recognize that i never finish anything i start, and although i still feel like i can do better and want too still become something more, and have a more full filling career and life, i don’t trust myself too spend the money for a course, it would probably be wasted money.

    Not too mention i have no concrete idea what i would want to do, all i know is it’s gotta be fun and not boring.

    Bought a self teach course in Adobe In-Design, and a mac. “Think i did the course?” Of course not. This is what i’m dealing with, and i’m sure by reading some of the other entries you can relate.

    So, what am i gonna do? I don’t know where too begin.

    I seem too have fallen into what i thought i’d never see myself doing the Boredom Life! The Stuck Life!

    I live in Toronto and would love some advice, direction, guidance if you will, as too what i can do too get my life moving in a direction

    that i’d be more happier waking up too every day. If anyone in my area reads this and can reply with some direction i would be so grateful to you.

    Thanks for reading me!

    Peace.

    LeoGetsU

    P.S. As for the medication thing, i don’t take anything for this condition, rason being is i’m not comfortable with the idea of putting drugs in my body. Is there a natural remedy one can take with this condition?

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    #91846 |

    It is too bad that you don’t feel special anymore. I hope you will get that feeling back. I think that is one of the hardest things about having ADHD is that we often feel lost and alone.

    I currently self medicate with 25 mg of gravol here and there at times when I can’t sleep. I wonder if the stimulant in it actually relaxes the ADHD brain. I also was on Wellbutrin for a short time, which is not a stimulant and something mild you might be more open to. Apparently it helps the mild sufferers with ADHD. For me, it did little for my motivation levels. The thing is, yes, drugs, as in street drugs are unhealthy and dangerous and some prescription drugs are bad for you as well, but prescription drugs are controlled and studied unlike street drugs. Taking them does not mean that you are a drug addict. Of course, it would be great if we could live 50 years in the future and know that what we are taking compensates exactly for the genes we are apparantly missing in our brains. But you only live once, and why be unhappy if you haven’t tried all of the options? You may also want to look under the treatments topic on this forum -some people find exercise helpful.

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    #91847 |

    leogets u, thats exactly my thinking i have had too and the same responses from others i got too.. i am also at your place of thinking now.. i start this, start that and never finish and that special feeling has gone, i often think it is a rsult of the criticism i continuoisly got form others, highlightin how i am all the time and seein my traits as all negative-all my adhd traits that is.. also never being able to finish anythin epacts on my depression.. i am still on strattera and recently felt suicidal again so have had my anitdepressant incresed to see if it helps if it dont then i will give up stratteram, i am glad to have tried them thoug as it has made me realise the extent that adhd bein untreated via meds and therepy has sent me on a verry dark downward spriral, i relaly do hope the special feeling comes back, though it does feel so far behind me now and i struggle so much, i agrre though that we have one life and there is no harm in tryin to get the best opportumity even if it does mean takin prescribed medication, i know i would not be here now if i hadnt treid them, it may sound bleak but thats were my frustration and deprression of how i am takes me. so if medication gives me a chance of tryin to gain some sort of chance in life and do the things i want to do , like complete thins i start and interpesronal relationshiips then i am verry to glad to have been diagnosed and given medication abnd therepy for it.. i wish i saw more positives abiut strattera though!!!

    Ivriniel
    Participant
    #91848 |

    “It’s funny how teachers at school love to encourage kids to ask as much as possible, but when someone actually asks it’s not really wanted after all. Even if none of the other kids ask anything, the teacher soon grows tired of that one kid (with ADHD) who does ask.”

    As a teacher, one of the things I promised myself that I would always do my best to answer any and all questions kids put to me. The problem I found with this is, I could spent a whole day just answering kids questions, and never get any of the work I need to get done completed. The kids are learning, they’re just not learning the stuff I need them to learn so I can write their report cards.

    My solution was to institute something I call my “Book of Questions” . When kids ask a question that is off-topic of what we are doing, I get them to write it in the book. I review the book on a regular basis. Sometimes I will answer the question outright, other times I’ll suggest resources the kid can check to find their answer.

    Then at a particular time each week, I will read the questions and the answers.

    #91849 |

    That’s a really neat practice, LVRINIEL.

    One of the ways to avoid a thousand questions from kids is to get very specific in the instructions. The experts have told us that ADHD kids, and adults as well, seem to have a problem with what they call ‘Generalizing.’

    In our workshop we do a demonstration where I play an ADHD Child with the Predominantly Combined Suptype (The Hyperactivity & Impulsivity.) And Dr. Jain plays my parent. I’m at the dinner table. I begin tapping my spoon on the table, drumming away. Dr. J says, “Stop doing that!” So I stop and instead start tapping it lightly. He says, “Stop doing that! It’s bothering me.” So I begin flipping the spoon in the air and catching it and dropping it, and he shouts, “I told you to stop doing that.” And I reply, “No you didn’t.” Because he didn’t tell me to stop flipping it. So he tells me to stop and now I start rocking in my chair, leaning way back… And he tells me…. well you get the idea.

    It becomes clear to the neutral observer (the audience) that all this kid is getting is negative feedback.

    Instead Dr. J tells me what he wants me to do. Quite specifically. “Eat your soup and when you are finished you can go out and play.” Or whatever.

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