The ADHD diagnosis

[leeatbe]

Hi,

I was just diagnosed as ADHD about a month ago, while being treated by a psychiatrist for depression. Something in what I said tipped her off and she decided to check if her intuition was right. I should note that I am 25 years old, getting my MSc at the moment, after finishing my bachelors in an honors program and also starting my masters in one, which made it even harder for me to believe the diagnosis. I read that sometimes gifted children manage by making a much bigger effort than their non-ADHD friends, but for me it was the exact opposite. I made less of an effort. I couldn’t sit and study for long periods of time and i definitely couldn’t learn from books, yet I always got higher grades than my friends. So I’m also wandering how that could be?

I only decided to research the issue thoroughly this past weekend and found a lot of interesting things. For example, most of what made me the “weird girl” my entire life is a result of this. Despite this I am still not comfortable with the diagnosis. I talked to several friends about it and the symptoms and things like that and they all said they also have the same symptoms, though I am pretty sure none of them are actually ADHD, and if they really are that is one coincidence, that all of my friends have it too. And it just makes me feel stupid. It makes me feel like I made it up to cut corners or something (though I haven’t actually cut any corners and was really against the entire concept of getting ritalin to get better grades).

I don’t know exactly what I’m asking here, but I would really like some response.

And also, I just read that it might affect sexual performance. I’m a girl, and yet I never seem to be in the mood for sex, which makes it very unpleasant for me, and was wandering if ADHD could have anything to do with that.

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[allan wallace]

Hmmm, what’s the question? My only distinctive achievement is in taking mediocrity to previously unplumbed depths, and sex for me was and is just another bodily function…*yawn*…it needs to be a bit interesting to even pique my interest lol

Anyway, I’m certain that my jibberish hasn’t answered your question, but at least I replied, eh? G’day to you anyway….*flutters eyelashes*….

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[Patte Rosebank]

@Leeatbe, those are good questions!

The first place I’d start would be the Videos section:  http://www.totallyadd.com/videos.  There, you’ll find answers to your questions…and some very reassuring laughs.  When you can laugh at something, it’s a lot less scary.

While everyone can have “ADD moments”, it’s only a disorder if the symptoms are strong enough, long enough (going back to your childhood), and in enough areas of your life to cause real problems for you.

That’s why a proper diagnosis involves a variety of tests, and delving into your life history.

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ADHD is situational, because the ADHD brain is driven by interest, not importance.  I could spend all day studying “The Films of Laurel & Hardy” because they’re fascinating to me…but I can barely manage 15 minutes of Math because I find it so deadly dull & confusing.

And ADD’ers need structure to keep us in-line.  Elementary and high school are very structured, with homework due every day.  But university is very unstructured, and nobody cares if you show up for class or not, as long as you score well on the term papers & exams.

Also, ADD’ers are generally 30-40% younger socio-emotionally than they are physically.  This means that an 18-year-old ADD’er is actually more like a 13-year-old.  And a 13-year-old is definitely not mature enough to be able to function on his/her own in the world.

Plus, many students are pressured to go straight from high school into university, and to study for a career of the parents’ choosing, instead of the student’s.

So, you have a 13-year-old with an interest-driven brain, pushed out of the nest too soon into a totally unstructured environment, taking courses of very little interest to him/her.  No wonder so many of us crash & burn so spectacularly!  And I was one of them.

If you’re succeeding so well, that tells me that you’re taking courses that genuinely interest you.  And that, you’re able to do your learning using the methods that suit you best.  Not everyone learns in the same way.  I’m quickly bored in a lecture setting, but I thrive in a small discussion group where everyone interacts.

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As for the meds, they’re not “cheating” if you genuinely need them.  If you were diagnosed with a physical condition, like diabetes, you wouldn’t regard insulin or metformin as “cheating”.  ADHD is just another physical condition.  It just happens to involve the brain instead of some other organ.

Meds are not a magic bullet.  They’re more like training wheels for a bike.  They’ll help you stay upright, but you still need to learn how to ride that bike yourself.

The more you learn about your ADHD, the better you’ll be able to figure out how to work with it.  For one thing, it’s really cool to be able to spot things that other people miss (like money, on the ground), and to be able to grasp concepts almost intuitively!

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[Patte Rosebank]

@Leeatbe, as for your questions about sex, there’s a *free* TotallyADD webinar, this Wednesday at 9:00 pm EDT, about that very subject!

It has the tantalizing title, “Sex with Ari Tuckman”.

You need to register here (http://totallyadd.com/webinars/#) in advance, and they’ll e-mail you the log-in details, 2 hours before the webinar.  They suggest you sign in about 20 minutes before it starts, because the free webinars do get overbooked.

 

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[leeatbe]

Unfortunately that would be 3am where I live (Israel).

Over here we also do not go to university straight after school, but have pretty much as many years as we want but I did start university right after the army (quite uncommon here), because I couldn’t handle not knowing where I was going to go. I am absolutely happy with the subject I study, but I have to say that there was also a lot of luck involved in the matter since I just chose that biology, without knowing what it would be like, without reading about it or anything else, and without learning it ever before (art was surprisingly my major in high school).

But thank you so much for the response!!! Hope there will be some kind of summary to what goes on on Wednesday. Maybe I’m not that weird freak who doesn’t enjoy sex.

 

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[Patte Rosebank]

@Leeatbe, you’re in luck!

All of the webinars are archived here (http://totallyadd.com/webinar-archives), a few days later, so you can watch them whenever you like!

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[MarieAngell]

Leeatbe, it’s very common to question an ADHD diagnosis initially. I know I did and felt many of the feelings you expressed (an excuse! everybody has it! etc.).  Meds made a huge difference for me and you have to do what’s right for you, not avoid or do something because you have pre-conceived notions that may not apply to your own situation.

Depending on the medication prescribed, the meds may not affect your sex life adversely. You may, in fact, have a positive response with better focus and more clarity about what pleases you. Not to persuade you one way or the other to take meds–that’s entirely dependent on you and your prescriber.

Or you may simply be someone who is not wild about sex, for whatever reason. That’s OK too.

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[Wgreen]

Since ADD sex seems to be a “hot” (no pun intended) topic lately——some people take meds and can’t get enough, others take meds and would rather watch reruns of Gunsmoke——I thought I’d cross-reference the other string about intimacy currently trending on the site: http://totallyaddconnect.com/forums/topic/how-do-i-eliminate-the-heightened-sexual-desires-side-effect/

It’ll be interesting to hear what Ari Tuckman has to say.

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