March 25, 2014 at 9:18 am #124648
jh531MemberMarch 25, 2014 at 9:18 amPost count: 5
My boyfriend has ADD. We live together in a 1 bedroom apartment. One of his top “side effects” of having ADD is he is constantly losing things. Not small items, like a cup, but kindles, cuff links, sentimental gifts. We’ve recently started to rid our apartment of clutter, to help the focus stay off of clutter and on to more important things…help the mind stay more focused. The problem is, even with our apartment decluttered and fairly spacious now, he is still losing things and he gets into fits of rage over this. He feels that nothing he is doing is helping…even with all the decluttering. He goes to a dark place when he loses something, throwing things out of frustration and harming himself at times because he says he can’t live like this. It is so hard to watch and I know nothing I do or say will help. I’m looking for any sort of help to understand or cope better with this or things I could possibly say or do to help him. I know this will happen again.
Thank you.REPORT ABUSEMarch 25, 2014 at 11:38 am #124655
shutterbug55ParticipantMarch 25, 2014 at 11:38 amPost count: 430
Been there. Done that. Lost the T-shirt.
I assume your boyfriend is being treated for ADD. If not, he really needs to be.
Here’s what worked for me. De-clutter, de-clutter, de-clutter. It sounds like you have already got that covered.
Next: Pick one item. Let’s say the Car keys. Find a place for the keys, I drove a hook into the front door and hung the keys there. That is their place. They go there. I close the door, hang up the keys. They don’t go into my pocket. They don’t take a trip through the air as I try to sink a basket in the mail basket ( it is kind of fun to make one of those). They go on the hook. I get real OCD about that. Once the habit is formed, and I haven’t lost the keys for quite a while, I move on to something else. Rinse and repeat.REPORT ABUSEMarch 25, 2014 at 12:18 pm #124658
jh531MemberMarch 25, 2014 at 12:18 pmPost count: 5
Thank you so much for your email. We have key hooks, we have a mail/bill basket. He has a sectioned jewelry box for his watch, cuff links, etc. Yet, I find his keys in the cracks of the couch, his watch in a bowl in the living room and cuff links sitting on the plate in the kitchen. He gets so frustrated when he misplaces/loses things, but he is so distracted at times that he even forgets that he now has places for things that would help minimize him losing things. Some times things get lost when he isnt home, but on a business trip, which is even worse, bc then the item is really gone forever. Any other suggestions or advice? 🙂
Thank you!REPORT ABUSEMarch 25, 2014 at 12:31 pm #124659
shutterbug55ParticipantMarch 25, 2014 at 12:31 pmPost count: 430
Where I was going with that, was one at a time. Just focus on one thing. Find it’s place. Put JUST that thing in the place. Don’t worry about the other things. Once that one thing is no longer lost all the time, move on to ONE other thing… and so on.
The key is one thing at a time.REPORT ABUSEMarch 25, 2014 at 2:50 pm #124666
Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADDParticipantMarch 25, 2014 at 2:50 pmPost count: 473
A couple more suggestions inspired by our video:
First, use colour. Have everything financial, including your wallet, check book, files folders, accordion files bright green for money.
Get smart phone cases or Kindle cases that are bright, and easy to spot. Have a large fluorescent key fob so you can spot them across the room.
Also, make sure you actually have a place for something. No one ever misplaces their cutlery, because we call have a cutlery drawer. But do you have a specific spot for keys, phones, wallet, bankbook, eyeglasses, etc. etc..REPORT ABUSEMarch 27, 2014 at 8:50 am #124690
kc5jckParticipantMarch 27, 2014 at 8:50 amPost count: 845
Before I leave the house, I do a “pre-flight.” Keys, knife – right pocket. Wallet money – left pocket. Cell phone – back pocket. Do this before take off and upon landing.
Brownies go in the oven or water to boil – set timer on phone and return to back pocket.
Someone borrows knife – watch them like a border collie until you get it back. Return to front right pocket.
I still have a problem with laying tools down in random places. I’ll be working on something and walk in the house carrying some item and randomly lay it down somewhere on the way to the kitchen, get distracted and half hour later can’t find it. I’m trying to be more conscience of doing this. Perhaps a backpack would help. I could just pitch whatever in the backpack. When it gets full, go return things to their proper place. Sounds like a good idea! Someone try it and report back on how well it works.REPORT ABUSEMarch 27, 2014 at 12:16 pm #124693
blackdogMemberMarch 27, 2014 at 12:16 pmPost count: 906March 27, 2014 at 2:01 pm #124696
The agony of constantly losing thingsjh5312014-03-25T09:18:42+00:00
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