The Noise

[Anonymous]

Someone’s not happy. I can hear the cacophony outside in rising and falling murmurs and mumbles – some higher pitched than others, unmistakably female and male. I wish I could say something that would stop them from murmuring and mumbling so loudly at each other. Something that would bring me back to the heartbeat that got drowned out by the Eagles, the slammed frying pan and the incessant references to bills, whoever he is.

I’m pretty sure she’s forgotten about me. I can see my food up on the counter, it’s ready to drink but I can’t reach it. I’m pretty frustrated but nowhere near as frustrated as she sounds on the thing they put beside their head and talk into. I’d like one of those if it helped me get food faster. She slams it down (again) and walks really hard down the hallway but my food is still on the counter and I’m really hungry so I start to cry to remind her I’m not happy. I hear a bunch of sounds and voices all at once but they aren’t from outside. I’m not comfortable with them. It’s just noise and frazzle.

The Noise says that I don’t have to listen outside anymore. It tells me it’ll help with the confusion but I think it’s lying because when I try to listen to something else, it speaks louder and louder and changes the channel on me. I think it’s lying because that’s not help. It’s just more noise. Someone in my family is talking to me about me but the three other conversations in the room are much more interesting. I’m not really interesting but they say I am. They say I am because the Noise makes me interesting but they dont’t know about me and the Noise. That’s really interesting…I wonder how many times that woman is going to laugh at that man’s stupid jokes? I’m done with you now, family member so I think I’ll run along. You haven’t been very interesting.

What the hell is he on about? He’s looking at me and asking me a question (and he looks pissed). Dammit. What was he saying. The rest of the class is looking at me now too. DAMMIT! The book isn’t helping because I can’t find the spot everyone else is looking at. The Noise just shut the door but not before changing the damned channel (again). Maybe if I keep looking down he’ll ask someone else and mumble “idiot” under his breath. He’ll probably write something like “not living up to his potential” on that rag they send home with me. Screw him. Screw all of these idiots. They’re sheep. They have no idea what me and the Noise are capable of. One day I’ll invent something. Like something that no one can live without. Screw them. Sheep. I hate the Noise.

Fired? Yeah ok. Whatever. The Noise says it’s their fault. Too many demands. Too much paperwork. Too much. Too many. Too few. It’s their fault. Not mine. I’m bigger than this anyway. These people are sheep. How do I explain this? Easily. It’s not my fault. I’m simply not following my dream. They all say I’m so talented (but not living up to my potential – sounds vaguely familiar) so why am I having such a hard time? The Noise. It’s begun to keep me awake because it has more fun with me then. It doesn’t have to work so hard while I’m awake I think. There’s nothing on the channels when I’m awake. Just that snow like when the TV goes off but the snow has a voice, or so it seems. I just can’t make out what it’s saying. When I sleep, the Noise has to draw. It doesn’t like drawing. Doesn’t like order. Or sense. Only Chaos. I’m pretty sure Chaos is its friend or maybe it’s lover or something. All I know is that they’re both renting space in my head and I’m not sure when I let them sign a lease. Might’ve been when the Eagles were playing.

I’ve called the authorities on them. The authorities say they don’t belong there but that they do have benefits. I ask them what they could possibly be but they don’t have any definitive answers other than ones I’ve heard from friends and family: your creativity! your sensitivity! your empathy! Yeah yeah. I get it. Now how the hell do I shut them up? I want them out. I don’t care if it’s mid-winter. The Noise senses it’s eviction and lets Chaos know. Chaos I know. Chaos is like a warm blanket in a storm of stability. Stability scares me. Chaos soothes. It’s what I know. The Noise knows this and asks Chaos to soothe. Chaos happily obliges. The authorities meet with me regularly to help knock on the door and gently ask the Noise and Chaos to leave. We slide offerings of Ritalin and Adderall XR under the door to appease them and they respond by turning the volume down on the progressive jazz. For a few hours.

I prefer the Eagles.

REPORT ABUSE

[Saffron]

I loved this! Thanks for posting it.

REPORT ABUSE

[veronica]

bishop! i missed you. *side hug*

i really enjoyed your post.

the noise is safe when no one is around. at least that’s what i tell myself. when i have a day with no one i have to communicate with, is the day ARX isn’t taken. and i can be chaotic without “causing harm”. those days are very rare, but it a childish way… i enjoy “breaking the law”. hahahaha

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

I can absolutely relate to this! Thanks for sharing.

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

Weird coming back to read this after a year…

REPORT ABUSE

[Author]

Posts