The tale of my life from Dex to Dextreme.

[Anonymous]

Preface: I have ADD (or ADHD I’m not sure) and without Dexedrine I find it hard to ever get off the couch or to focus even on the TV. My mind wanders and I find myself backtracking all the time to track down everything I miss while my mind decided to go for a stroll. Also, I don’t know if it’s relevant but I have what I think is undiagnosed Tourette syndrome (I nod my head all the time in quick uncontrollable jerks and I do this kind of growling thing with my throat. In the past there have been many other “tics” such as sniffing, turning around all the time for no reason, curling my lip, etc.). Dex doesn’t affect the Tourettes too much, it doesn’t help either, but I read somewhere that ADD/ADHD and Tourettes are sometimes linked, so that’s why I mentioned it. I said what it’s like without the Dex, but the following is what my life had been with the Dex. (Amongst other things….as you will see if you choose to read.)

Hi. I have been taking Dexedrine since I was in grade 2. I switched between the little orange triangular 5mg caplets and the black and orange 10-15mg time release capsules over the years. When I first started taking them I found that I would think differently and it made we want to do things I never wanted to do before (like draw and write). After a while however I didn’t like the way it made me feel and it would keep me up at night, but since I was so young, I was forced by my father to take them. Also I started noticing that I had no appetite when I took them so I was just skin and bones. I eventually started hiding them so I wouldn’t have to take them, but I was soon found out and I was taking them on a regular basis until high school. At that point I was still having some insomnia, and sometimes I would be unable to sleep all night. So around that time, I noticed that if I took them again in the morning I could last all day not even feeling tired. Soon that became a regular occurrence, staying up for two or three days at a time, which would eventually be the foundation to my drug abuse in the future.

So after high school I started experimenting with different drugs. First was Marijuana and alcohol. Then Mushrooms were not too far behind, but were not taken as much as the aforementioned drugs due to scarcity and the effects of which were hard to hide from parents and others who were interested in my well being. Then came taking Extacy, which felt a little familiar when I first took it which made it easier to take it increasingly more and more. Eventually me and my friends started getting bored with that so we bought a gram of Cocaine, which again felt familiar, and so about a year of cocktails of these drugs ensued until we started getting the backlash of emotions, health, and monetary side effects. Eventually we sobered up would partake every few months or so but with a close eye on each other to make sure each of us were not silently getting carried away. During the peak of our drug use, I met a friend at work who also liked to partake in such things and when we were all cutting back, I was living with him in a town near where the rest of my friends were living. I had recently decided to start taking Dexedrine again and trying to get my life back on track. I was drinking a lot (trading one poison for another), and missing work more and more. So I started to take my Dexedrine in higher than recommended doses to try to counter the want to just sit at home and drink in front of the TV. Then I started sharing them with the buddy I was living with and taking as many as 30 each per day of the 5mg caplets. Then, in a metaphor where I am the train, and my goals in life are the track, the train seemed to have derailed and the track was no where in sight. This went on for some time, until we were forced to move out because we had no jobs and we didn’t pay the rent with welfare money. We both went back to live with our Moms, but it didn’t stop what had started. The fuse had been lit.

I’m going to take this opportunity to ask a question that makes me glad my real name is not included here. Does anyone know if a common side effect of Dexedrine is an increased in sexual desire? Because both me and my friend found that it was, and it got to the point that we would have a case of beer (or two), a bottle of Dex, and a stack of pornography, and we would not leave the room for several days. I will leave it at that, but after all that finally ceased and we started getting our lives back on track, our friendship was never the same again. At this point, we were seeing each other less and less, and I was living with another friend, but I still had no job and a large quantity of Dex…So guess what happened. Yup, I started abusing them by myself and other than seeing my roommate everyday, I was a recluse. This went on for a long time, until my friends started voicing their concerns to me and I started hiding it better and got myself a job. The job didn’t last and my roomie and me moved back to our parents. Now I knew I needed help. I asked another long time friend if I could stay with her to detox at her house. I then enrolled in college and sobered up. I moved out into my own place and was doing well. Until about 6 months into school when I was getting depressed with being alone all the time and decided to switch to another terrible drug, Oxycontin. Eventually I dropped out and thought of a way to get my life back while still being able to battle my ADD. I moved in with my Mom (again) and asked her to control my drug supply.

I wonder sometimes that if I was never forced to take a narcotic when I was a child, if I would have still ended up where I am today. I am 26 years old, I live with my Mom, I work in a call center making minimum wage, and my doctor is (pretty much) a drug dealer with a degree that knows nothing of my past and still prescribes me Dexedrine. I am still addicted.

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[Carrie]

I was never forced to take narcotics as a child and I went through the drug mill. Took everything and anything that came my way…. I no longer do. I was never addicted and im too paranoid to try larger than the maximum recommended daily dose of my ADD meds (even thought the street drugs I did, I took waaaaaaaay too much). Dex never increased my sexual desire… but I never took more than 15mg twice a day *shrugs*

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[Anonymous]

Thanks Carrie. I have noticed, from my personal experience at least, that Dexedrine seems to effect women differently than men. To what extent, I couldn’t say.

I’m glad to hear that you’re sober now though! I’m sure we both know how sketchy life can get with a head full of drugs.

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[Carrie]

Thats for sure…

My ADD meds killed that “itch” for destruction… Do they not for you? There are other alternatives for ADD meds…. Some less addicting. Vyvanse is what I take now… its Lisdexamfetamine. Its more difficult to abuse and side effects are less than that of Dexedrine. I found out of all the stimulant medication I have tried (Ritalin, Adderall, Dexedrine) it feels most like Dexedrine which worked best for me. I just didnt like the rebound I was getting from the short acting Dexedrine. It has a much smoother onset and wears off gradually reducing rebound.

Of course there are the other stimulants too… Ritalin – Gave me the BEST focus out of all. I found the rebound was really bad for me. I became VERY irritable. Adderall – Gave me focus and quiet mind, but killed my appetite completely. I then wouldnt eat and feel like complete crap. Dexedrine – Gave me great focus, calm clear mind but was a pain having to take twice a day and some irritability on rebound. Vyvanse – Gives me focus, calm clear mind, no rebounding. I did have insomnia for first week or so but I now could take it anytime and sleep. Of course meds effect everyone differently.

You should try to get a different Doctor. One who cares and does their job correctly… With the new Doctor I would let them know right away about your drug abuse, that way they can help you find whats right for you. It took about 6-7 months to find what medication was right for me… Sounds like a long time, but well worth it. If you can get into see a psychiatrist they are probably the best to do an assessment and tell you which meds to take. Its worth a shot.

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