those little pill things were helpful afterall…..

[Anonymous]

nothing like not having something to know whether it works or not lol. My doctor went on vacation and I work self-imposed 12 hour days on the only days my doctor practices! We had agreed that she would mail the script this one time only…and I guess she forgot. so I’ve been hoarding them for work only (3x a week). so I haven’t had then otherwise for over a week. It has been really weird taking medication because it feels like I am just taking pills for no reason. I don’t really feel any different except for some dry mouth, appetite loss, little more alert, motivated, and organized…

ok.. so.. I’ve been working so hard trying to break bad habits…

with the meds, I had a nearly clean sink, food in the fridge, and was actually doing a few things on the to-do list.. nice progress. nothing drastic, but it was nice.. but I certainly would not want to run around in a task completing frenzy.. eeeps..

ok.. so it hasn’t even been that long.. but I haven’t cleaned my sink since I had the meds.. so I need to wash a piece of silverware if I want it. I’m running out of food. I managed to buy some milk the other day because I had to buy a greeting card..but then I wanted to go swimming so i left the grocery store.. at least I have milk, right? I have managed to continue to write to-do lists (wasn’t doing this before so this is progress I kept). but haven’t actually done anything on it. and…… *pouty face*

now I’m out of my hoarded meds.. no wait.. i have some methyln that I didn’t like because it made me shake.. oh well.. time to shake at work because I’m a bit SOL at work without these because my work is so fast paced and challenging.. omg.. i sat at my computer in a large building in the dark by myself tonight..because I hyperfocused on some electronic records.. internet trance, right? except it is nearly 10pm in a building in which people are supposed to leave by 5pm! cleaning crew is long gone and the lights were programmed off (lights on in my office still) so I made my way out of the building by myself with my smartphone flashlight.. the meds die at work around 5pm ish. like a building which has been broken into before. and I still have work I didn’t complete. I don’t know how long I spaced.. >_<. i think I’m going to ask for some booster dexedrine or something..

I went on this awesome first date with a guy yesterday. i was complaining about my work efficiency and long day problems and he totally related. we exchanged some experiences back and forth with similar relating. and we figured out that we both have ADD.. lol. He told me that he was so amazed that I was tracking his conversation seamlessly. umm.. you were thought jumping??? oh. I wonder if our dynamic will change if I have meds?

i should go to bed in about 2 hours ago.

*long sigh* I’m going somewhere completely foreign tomorrow to take a shift in which I should not have agreed to. please brain.. pull thyself together.

ps. anyone think you get –more– scattered than usual when the meds wear off? some type of dopamine fatigue.. i should be writing down a list of questions for my doc. I have so many and will forget them all.

goodnight!

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