Thought I was developing early onset dementia

[Anonymous]

I have had a smartphone of some kind or another since about 2003, and this has been a HUGE help in keeping myself on track with my schedule, appointments, deadlines, etc. My problem is, the ADD thing wasn’t even mentioned until this past spring — whereas I was diagnosed with major depression, atypical, over 20 years ago and have been on anti-depressant meds ever since (I have tried to go off them, but it always comes back under stress — and who has a life with no stress? I mean, other than the Paris Hiltons of the world??). So basically I am looking at being on meds until I’m dead, or at least until I’m really old.

The constant forgetting of stuff — appointments I completely blew off because I forgot (before I got my first smartphone with a calendar that could ALARM when I was supposed to go somewhere and/or do something) — being introduced to a bunch of people and forgetting their names as quickly as I was told them — I just thought I was developing early onset dementia. Except some of these problems I’ve had all my life.

I had read in several research articles that people with depression were at a greatly increased risk of developing Alzheimer’s. So through the last half of my 30s and now in my early 40s, as I got even MORE forgetful than I was when I was younger, I really started to worry that I was seriously developing some kind of early onset dementia. I have been waiting for the “other shoe to drop” for years because I figured that was inevitable, there was no avoiding it.

Now I know it was the freakin’ ADD…! I wish I could go back and spare myself the anguish of wondering if I was losing my mind, and the anxiety and stress that came with the incessant, “back burner” fear that I was on an accelerated run-up to dementia because I just couldn’t REMEMBER anything. And yet, somehow, through all this, I got laid off from one job, decided to change careers, went back to school, passed nursing school, got out and took my licensing exam and passed it on the first try, and became a Registered Nurse. How I did all that I will never know. But I can definitely say: I would never have been able to do it without my smartphone calendar to keep me on track with assignments and studying. Now if only I could remember people’s names when introduced…

My being diagnosed with ADD was really just a total fluke. The psych MD I see for my antidepressant med management suggested adding Adderall as an adjunct med to boost the efficacy of the other meds I’m on. I asked him why and what for, and he mentioned that many of my symptoms could also be from ADD rather than depression. So I went on Adderall last April… and almost immediately, I was a calmer, more focused person, and things seemed so much *clearer* to me. Unfortunately, that didn’t last long. I think I’m at too low of a dose or something. But my psych MD left the practice, and the new psych MD I was assigned to is not inclined to mess with my meds. So instead of taking 10mg 2 x day, I started taking both 10mg pills at the same time in the morning (at the new psych MD doc’s suggestion). I gradually unravel by evening, and I’m fairly useless during the hours of prime time television, but I’m much more focused in the morning and the early part of the day from taking both pills together rather than one pill twice a day. But the initial “wow, I can *focus*!” wonderment I felt in April, and the ability to focus for long periods of time on one specific task — that went away pretty quickly, and I reverted to my usual starts-half-a-dozen-things-and-finishes-one-or-none. Sigh.

Anyway, I just wondered if anyone else had that “I thought I was losing my mind” or “I thought I had early onset dementia” issue because your forgetfulness was just so *bad* pre-diagnosis of ADD…

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[Anonymous]

My friend… you are not alone. As an ADHD guy… I’m getting ready to go to breakfast with my folks… <grin> I could share my story which has some similarities and differences… but cutting to the bottom line…

1. You are absolutely right!

2. Thank you for sharing–I feel much better about the situation I’ve been having (Having been diagnosed with adhd for 35 years now…but as an adult I’ve had more evolved symptoms if you will)

3. Has your physician considered something more time-released like concerta? It has helped me immensely…

4. Have you tried a bit of caffeine with your old dosage–nothing drastic–just a cuppa tea/coffee or two with or after the pills–I’ve found that it does work for me on some of those more challenging days… (from my pediatric neurologist who I’m now 42 and am still working with because he responded when I was 22 to the following…)

5.Have you considered trying to locate another local physician who is “in your plan” who is more competent to deal with medication adjustment?

6. Conversely, have you been VERY BLUNTLY DIRECT with this doctor saying the magic words, “Look, I like you, I appreciate your help–BUT my life at the end of the day spirals out of control and I NEED YOU TO HELP ME OR REFER ME TO SOMEONE WHO WILL.” (or something more reflective of how you feel… That’s difficult–if you happen to be feeling “ok” at the time of your appointment it’s difficult to tap into the frustration you feel at the times when you’re not–so you MAY need to rehearse it before you go in–or you may need to write it to him/her in a note saying the same thing and hand it to him when you come in. If this guy/gal starts off on something like “I don’t want you to become dependent on the drug” or some other crap. Use him as long as you need to to maintain your current progress, and actively shop for someone who has been adequately educated on the protocols and long-term study.

Wishing you all the best and hoping I haven’t offended… (Because, I can be far too blunt and direct, and you deserve a respectful, caring response! which is my intent.

Finally, I’m really happy for you that you’re having some success with this!)

–Dave

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[Anonymous]

I am so happy I have joined this forum. I’m 63 and wonder how I ever made it through life. I’m female and a retired RN. (fortunately, I was hyper focused in caring for patients.)

I’m being treated with antidepressants and most recently have been put on Ritalin. My days are more focused though I’m still not like folks that do not have ADHD. Before Ritalin, it would take me, without exaggeration, almost an entire Saturday to pay my bills. I’d say about 5 hours. Now it takes me 2 hours. For only having 8 bills to deal with, I’m working on bringing this down to an hour. Even using bill pay it’s still a struggle….check, check and recheck….fearing I’m going to make a mistake.

I wish everyone well on this journey. I’m sure we can learn a lot from each other.

Linda

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[Anonymous]

Personally, I was pretty sure I was bipolar! I’ve been on antidepressants for (wow, has it been that long?) 10 years or so but about 5 years ago my doc retired. Talking with the new doc I told him I still didn’t feel as well as I would like. Most of the things I told him about you all would probably find pretty familiar but I thought I was plain nuts and had been unwilling to say anything about it. He looked at me and said ADD. It was a revelation! At the time I thought only little kids were diagnosed with ADD, I was in my thirties.

Since then, between the meds and the methods I’m learning to be better. I’m not there yet but I’m learning.

Finding this site is a revelation all its own. For as long as I’ve been working on this, people have been trying to help but none of them are really “in it” so they there are some things that they only think they understand.

It’s good not the be alone on the ride.

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[Anonymous]

This is a great site. Glad I saw the show on PBS TV (unc.nc). Loved the virtual doctor and the have you ever felt this way or never felt this way. Only after retirement have I taken the time to try and figure this out.

Does anyone else feel so tired unless hyper-foucused? Sometimes like moving thru mud.

I have to agree & thank everyone on the above comments. You are not alone!!!

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