Tips for teenager

[RitaFaye]

I was just diagnosed 2 1/2 weeks ago. My son is 16, a high school junior, and was diagnosed in 3rd grade. He has done alright in school, taking advanced classes and making A/B grades.

His problem is motivation. I can’t get him to put more than the absolute minimum into anything, and getting him to initiate a project himself is nearly impossible. He’s got college visits coming up, scholarships to start applying for, a driver’s permit to get, etc., etc. He wants to go to college, but I can’t get him to motivate to even list out what he needs to be doing. He’s also a teenage boy who would prefer not to talk to mom.

How do I help him get semi-organized and doing some of the work/planning without me micromanaging every step?

I have been in a fog for the last 2 years, so it’s partially my fault as I have not been as actively engaged these last 2 years. Now I’m playing catchup on everything. Note: I was widowed when he was in 6th grade, so I’m now working full-time and have a chronic illness in addition to the ADHD. His father was the non-ADHD one and would have been a big help.

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[kc5jck]

My son was unmotivated, slept all the time, and could not be made to do anything. That was before he got on adderall. Since then he has completely changed for the better. Having a non-ADHD parent around was not of any benefit with regards to motivating him.

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[RitaFaye]

Thanks for the reply and sorry for the delay (taxes–arrgh). He’s been on medication since 4th grade, and does alright with homework, assignments, and chores (if reminded). But getting him to look at a college’s website or even discuss it is like pulling teeth, yet he wants to go. NOTE: He is doing better this week. We saw his doc, and he’s now taking a booster dose of short-acting Ritalin after school. The attitude is much better. He actually talked about college to me today (still hasn’t looked up a website yet).

The comment on a non-ADHD parent came from experience with my mom. I think I coped for over 40 years because she is a naturally organized person. She was not a tyrant or hateful about it, but neatness and organization just oozes out her pores. So I grew up seeing how to keep stuff organized and a family mostly on track. I don’t always do it, and never to her standards, but I know what’s supposed to happen. My dh was the same way.

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[Anonymous]

Sounds a lot like a million other teens…….ADD or otherwise. I believe in support when initiative is shown…….but in the end it must come from them.

Easy to say hard to do………

Toofat

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