June 6, 2011 at 2:04 pm #104671
AnonymousInactiveJune 6, 2011 at 2:04 pmPost count: 14413
Thank you for your posts. I have just found my way to this website and am thrilled to “meet” another adult who is struggling with the idea of prioritizing my ADD for the first time. I am a 53 year old motther of two grown children who is contemplating “the rest of my life”. My children have been fortunate enough to have “missed” the gene that makes my brain “tired” by ten in the morning, but what if my grandchildren become the lucky recipients of my genetic brain poop. I need to figure out how to take care of myself on the chance that my grandchildren will need a mentor. My fifty year old brother has been treated for ADHD twice in his life: once as a six year old child (which didn’t last long because he perceived the medication as making him uncomfortable and unhappy ), and currently, after a span of many years, as an adult. He decided (as an adult) that the changes he experienced in his “identity” (for lack of a better word) with medication was a “normal” he was ready to accept. He appears to be (and this is very subjective on my part) a better “socially adjusted” person, but I wonder if sometimes he wishes he could revisit the old self every now and again . . . we have some pretty awesome stories about when he was a little hyperactive cutie! My brother’s experiences with ADHD therapies have taught me that ownership and expectations change with growth and maturity. What may not work for a person at one stage of their development, may be exactly the right protocol at a different time in their life (and medicine, being what it is, constantly changes to provide new and improved patient care). I am encouraged by your posts to just “keep trying”. This is a good strategy:) I like it!
ps You are a good writer! Does your son journal as well? . . . .REPORT ABUSEJune 6, 2011 at 3:27 pm #104672
AnonymousInactiveJune 6, 2011 at 3:27 pmPost count: 14413
My son hates writing! He is just like I was at his age. I am always amazed at the change in my writing as I matured. I was a shocking writer, like my son is (or even worse). I could cope with facts in dot point form, but couldn’t string them all together to form an essay or flowing piece of work. I was attempting uni for a second time before I learnt how to write better. I think a few things contributed to this –
a) Computers. I could write the dot points, rearrange them with copy and paste, fill in gaps with words, and then edit without lots of scribbles everywhere.
b) I came to the realisation that lots of writing was simply paraphrasing other peoples work and adding references. I could do that okay!
c) Something matured in the connection between my mouth, brain, and hands. I could begin to write more as if I was discussing the subject verbally.
I still find it extremely difficult to summarise things though. I could not tell you, verbally or in writing, about a book I have read, or a movie I have seen. I also need to read plenty on a subject in order to write about it. It has to stick in my brain before I can write anything of substance. I am much better with free expression sort of stuff, like writing here, but I have to have a topic. I couldn’t write just for the sake of it (I’d love to be able to write a novel, but I just wouldn’t know where to start or what to write about!!). Facts are also good. I can write who did what and when, and what the outcome was, provided I can remember it all lol 😉
Incidentally, my handwriting improved from nearly illegible, to beautiful, once I learned calligraphy and started to view writing as an art. I write in many different styles, depending on my mood, though I still take notes in an untidy scrawl 😉
I like your view on dealing with yourself in order to better help your grandkids if they end up with ADHD. I find I am so much more equipped to understand my son than my husband, as we are so similar. It doesn’t always equate to being able to handle him better, as my own issues often interfere (how am I supposed to remind him about his assignment if I can’t remember he has one either!!), but we have some gripes as well as good laughs that only the two of us understand. It’s comforting to know that someone else “gets it”.
The stories ARE great, aren’t they?!! My son was so inventive with his mischief, and has come out with some great comments. My favourite was when my mum asked him to hop out of the bath before he got too wrinkly, and he said “is that what happened to you, Granny?” 😆
Anyway, welcome, and nice to meet youREPORT ABUSEJune 7, 2011 at 7:45 am #104673
AnonymousInactiveJune 7, 2011 at 7:45 amPost count: 14413
Aaaaarrrrggghhh!!! I finally got up the courage to ring and make a psychiatrist appointment BUT the first one on my list wasn’t taking any new patients, the next one I tried had recently retired, then I got a fax machine (twice) when I rang the third 😥 Now I just feel like crying. I feel like I can’t catch a break! Now it’s after hours, so I have to wait until tomorrow to keep trying. Will try the “fax” one again first, as his name is on both ADHD association websites for our city/state. Then I will try the second (and last) one on my psychologist’s list (the first one being the one that is taking no new patients – he was my top choice, as he was recommended and his name is on the ADHD association sites also). I have a headacheREPORT ABUSEJune 27, 2011 at 11:58 pm #104674
AnonymousInactiveJune 27, 2011 at 11:58 pmPost count: 14413
Okay….more on the story of my son (after getting rather sidetracked).
I went to our GP yesterday and gave him the psychologist’s report and requested a referral to a paediatrician to discuss medication. He gave me the referral, but told me that he didn’t think my son needed it, as he was “just a normal teenage boy”. And this was in front of my son!!! Grrrrr!!! I nearly said “well, you don’t have to live with him”, but thought that wasn’t a productive way to talk about my son in his hearing. So I just said that I didn’t think it was normal for a teenager to fail a subject that he should be accelerated in, to lose things on a daily basis, and be so disorganised that it affects his schooling. I think I got through to him, but am seriously considering finding a new GP who firstly gives psychologists the credit they deserve, and secondly, doesn’t dismiss a diagnosis in the way that he did in front of an impressionable (and not so stupid) teenager. And also one who understands ADHD, as when my son is older, he will need a GP who will understand that he has difficulty remembering to take medication or follow up on treatments, and who will offer practical solutions to these issues (such as using slow release meds taken once a day).
On a brighter note, my son and his maths teacher have done some negotiating. If he remembers to bring his text book, then he is allowed to start his work at any time he is ready (so he doesn’t have to sit still and listen to her lengthy explanations). He is now completing his work in class and has often finished before she has finished talking. He was recently told that if he kept this up then he would be accelerated in maths! To think he verged on failing last term.
It’s just amazing what difference even the smallest of accomodations can make. I think part of his issue was that his teacher knew he was very bright and was frustrated. She made the mistake of letting it show, so he became defensive and argued back whenever he got told off for not having his books etc, so it all escalated from there. He was also bored with all the explanations, so would switch off, but forget to switch on again when it came time to do work, so would be told off again for not working when he should be working. Her attitude changed once the school was notified of his ADHD diagnosis, and she stopped “getting on his back” all the time. I also encouraged him to talk with her about why he found her classes difficult so she had the opportunity to come up with a solution she found acceptable. She has also allowed him to listen to music (using his headphones) in class once he has finished all his work (as long as it’s not rushed). What a great incentive that has been also. He doesn’t distract others now, as he has his own agenda to work on, with rewards that are meaningful to him.REPORT ABUSEJune 28, 2011 at 4:18 am #104675
AnonymousInactiveJune 28, 2011 at 4:18 amPost count: 14413
that’s great!!! kudos to you for the advocacy!!!REPORT ABUSEJuly 1, 2011 at 2:51 am #104676
AnonymousInactiveJuly 1, 2011 at 2:51 amPost count: 14413July 1, 2011 at 11:13 am #104677
AnonymousInactiveJuly 1, 2011 at 11:13 amPost count: 14413
Thanks. That’s a useful website. Plenty of good info all in one place.REPORT ABUSEJuly 7, 2011 at 4:31 am #104678
AnonymousInactiveJuly 7, 2011 at 4:31 amPost count: 14413
Okay. We went to the paediatrician today. He was lovely. Really involved and didn’t make us feel like we were being rushed through the appointment. He talked to my son as a person and explained things to him. He was just a comfortable doctor to be with. He did some general tests (blood pressure, weight etc) and asked about my son’s health in general, as well as a bit of his history. Then he discussed medication. He seemed to think it was worthwhile trying, as just a small dose can make a big difference. He discussed how to go about it all and explained about the restrictions on the medication – he is not allowed to prescribe a long acting drug without ensuring the short acting form works first. So he has prescribed Ritalin 10mg. My son is to take one tablet on the first day and we are to note when it wears off. Then he can take a second one the next day, at about the time the first is due to wear off. Then we can add a third if needed (which would be homework time normally). We are to ring him in two weeks and he will discuss things and send us a prescription for a long acting drug, based on how the Ritalin works. We have to keep a log of my son’s behaviour to help us when it comes time to discuss things in two weeks. The school kids here are on school holidays for two weeks after tomorrow, so it’s a good time to be playing around getting dosages right, without filling in forms for school every time we want to change a dosage time. We can get it right, and get on a long acting drug before he goes back to school. Then we only need to worry about medication forms when he has camps. Providing Ritalin is the right drug for him. I hope so. It would be so easy if we hit the nail on the head the first time round. We have a script for 100 tablets (roughly one month’s worth, at three doses a day) with 5 repeats, so I am happy we don’t have to yo-yo back to the doctor on a regular basis to get more prescriptions.
I have read that Adderall works better on inattentives, but my son is only just shy of the combined type diagnosis, so maybe Ritalin would help control his impulsive behaviour and constant chatter better than Adderall would. Who knows.
I wonder what the doc thought of us today. My son kept looking at me and making noises, which gave me the giggles. I had made a similar noise as I found a carpark in a busy street where carparks are hard to find. He payed me out about it all the way to the doc’s office, and just couldn’t restrain himself whenever the doc’s attention was elsewhere. The doc was probably wondering why the two of us would suddenly start giggling every time he turned his back!! I was so distracted by the time we finished that I couldn’t think straight about paying the bill and messed it all up. The poor secretary was so confused by the time I had talked around in circles trying to find out how I was supposed to claim the medicare rebate and pay for the appointment (I actually forgot that I had to pay for the appointment first, before I could claim medicare, and was lucky one of our accounts had some money in it…..of course, it wasn’t the first account I tried!!). Ugh!! Glad that’s over. And I am thrilled we found a good paediatrician….except we have to change to a psychiatrist once my son is older. Hopefully this paediatrician will keep seeing him for a long time – it seems to be a decision that is partly made by the doctor, though prescribing laws here might affect the upper age the child can be and still have a paediatrician prescribe stimulants, as adults have to be prescribed stimulants by a psychiatrist.REPORT ABUSEJuly 7, 2011 at 12:12 pm #104679
billdMemberJuly 7, 2011 at 12:12 pmPost count: 913
@Wgreen – you stated:
>>2) I was told recently (by an academic) that some current research suggests we somehow are able to recall considerably more information from a printed page than from a digital one. Interesting—and curious—if indeed true. If this is not just some unfounded rumor (and my source is second-hand), gleaning information online or on e-readers may be even MORE of a challenge for kids who have problems with reading comprehension and recall. <<
Yes – at least in my case. If I print it, i get more out of it, can more easily re-read, etc. I HATE PDF owner manuals and always and I mean always end up printing the whole manual on paper so I can read and understand it. (of course when you have a big power outage and need one of those manuals – guess what…….
I hate the electronic readers – people have been trying for a long time to convince me to go more electronic, go get an iPad, whatever, and I just can’t. It’s got to be a magazine, book, newspaper, or I just can’t read and comprehend. Just reading this on the computer is hard enough. The manual for the new stereo I put in my car is on PDF – I ended up printing and reading before I could understand it.
(my profession – I’m an IT specialist, I support computer networks and technology and help people move “into the electronic age” with modern devices, assistive technology, etc. Go figure.)
Is it possible that “phone anxiety” is all part of this? That’s me to a T. I struggle with making what should be simple phone calls to get higher level support, or to set up meetings, etc. I have to for my job, but find I put it off until there’s trouble, or it’s the “last minute”.
I’d be happy if I never had to make another phone call for the rest of my life.REPORT ABUSEJuly 7, 2011 at 10:34 pm #104680
AnonymousInactiveJuly 7, 2011 at 10:34 pmPost count: 14413
I am starting to wonder where the phone anxiety stems from. My ADHD son has never has issues making phone calls but I have always hated them. I think it’s because I have trouble thinking on my feet. I can DO things under pressure, and cope very well, but talking under pressure gets me all tied up in knots. I think some of it also stems from a social anxiety that I developed when I changed schools from a local primary school to a private girl’s college. Girls are much less forgiving about social blunders, and I really felt like an outcast there. I became very introverted and kept to myself a lot, after I had so-called friends turn their backs on me and stop talking to me with no explanation given. I think my tendency to talk before thinking, as well as my off the wall thought processes, just got in the way of friendships. I think if I had been to a co-ed school, I would have had more boys as friends. They seem to be more tolerant of bizzare behaviour. I know my son seems to have plenty of friends, and his over-the-top and off-the-wall comments are more a source of humour and are tolerated because boys are expected to be like that to some degree, as well as because he has a generally open, honest, and easy-going nature.
Actually, come to think of it…..my son has had a few issues with phone calls. Not often, but the time I am thinking of was when he had to notify someone that he would not be at a rehearsal. He was really unsure of what to say, as he knew it would not be well received. He was going over and over about what things might crop up in the conversation and how he might answer. He got himself all in knots trying to predict how the phone call might progress. Very much like what I go through when I have to make a call, but I go through it with even the simplest of calls (like making a doctor’s appointment).
It’s funny how I can stay calm in a medical emergency at work, and cope very well, but a basic phone call has me a nervous wreck!REPORT ABUSEJuly 8, 2011 at 12:26 pm #104681
billdMemberJuly 8, 2011 at 12:26 pmPost count: 913
KrazyKat – I can totally relate to your last sentence, and this
>>I think it’s because I have trouble thinking on my feet. I can DO things under pressure, and cope very well, but talking under pressure gets me all tied up in knots. <<
Absolutely! I can’t think on my feet, can’t make decisions.
On personality tests, I’m **EXTREMELY** introverted – to the max. I’d do well if the only human contact I had besides family was via Internet.REPORT ABUSEJuly 8, 2011 at 4:35 pm #104682
AnonymousInactiveJuly 8, 2011 at 4:35 pmPost count: 14413
I was diagnosed at 38 and didn’t do as well on medications, but had some great results from a couple different types of biofeedback. I’m 56 now and realizing that I need either a “tune up” using biofeedback or need to get on a different type of medication than what was used in the past.REPORT ABUSEJuly 9, 2011 at 12:31 am #104683
AnonymousInactiveJuly 9, 2011 at 12:31 amPost count: 14413
Was the biofeedback expensive? The medication my son has been put on for now was pretty cheap ($16 for 100 tablets, which is about a month’s supply if he ends up needing three doses per day – hubby pays around double that for a month’s worth of cholesterol medication). And how long did you do the biofeedback for before you saw results. And how long did you do it for in total? And how long did the results last for? I am interested in all the sorts of therapies that work to treat ADHD. We are also doing CBT with our son, as well as getting a tutor to help with better study habits and assist in the areas of schooling where he struggles.
Today will be his first day of medication. He is very enthusiastic about it, which I suppose is a good thing, as he has been really anti-medication for much of his life. Now he has a happy balance, and resists taking medication, but accepts that sometimes it is necessary and takes it without complaint at those times (such as when he has a fever and aches all over, or when he has a bad infection and needs antibiotics). It just goes to show how much he feels his ADHD affects his life, considering his eagerness to trial the Ritalin.REPORT ABUSEJuly 9, 2011 at 12:53 am #104684
AnonymousInactiveJuly 9, 2011 at 12:53 amPost count: 14413
@billd – I find I swing between needing human contact, and needing to get away from it. I dislike parties in general, though I tolerate them for family and friends’ sakes. Though I get to a point where I just don’t want to be there anymore because it’s too much work and I start to get a headache and begin to feel as if there is a bubble forming around me, blocking me off from everyone else and making it hard to join in. I just feel very disjointed and isolated, and watching everyone else having a good time just makes it worse. But I have also had the opposite. I have been alone at home and began to feel very antsy and irritable, not wanting to do any of the things I could or should be doing, and I long for human contact. I must admit that since I have had kids, it hasn’t happened much at all, and I am very content to spend a day at home alone, but before kids came on the scene I would have regular days when I paced the house, making phone calls to friends to see if we could catch up, or at least talk on the phone. If I had no luck, I would just curl up and cry. I don’t know whether it was the human contact I craved or if it was just that I felt antsy and irritable due to ADHD, and that getting out with a friend just took my mind off it. Or maybe it was the talking that I needed, as it seems to be my form of “hyperactivity”. Who knows. Whatever it was/is, having a family, with all the activities involved in having a family, seems to give me what I need socially, somehow, and I feel more content with things from a social perspective.REPORT ABUSEJuly 9, 2011 at 2:26 am #104685
AnonymousInactiveJuly 9, 2011 at 2:26 amPost count: 14413
Wow!! My son is reading a book!! Because it’s school holidays, I suggested to him that he find things to do that would really test out the Ritalin, such as chores, reading, extra homework, tidying his room, practicing his music, or doing a project that takes concentration. He decided to read a book, as it has been something he has struggled with, despite being a fluent reader. He finds it hard to stay focussed on the book, and to multi-task enough to both read the words and follow the storyline. He took his Ritalin about 45min ago, and decided to try reading one of his Harry Potter books. It has been 10min and he is still at it. He said he feels a huge difference in his ability to focus on what he is reading, and he is enjoying it rather than it being an effort. I hope it continues this way. No side effects yet, apart from he said he felt a bit spacey….that his mind felt quiet, without thoughts whizzing through constantly. And he said “I can’t daydream!!” – which I assume means his thoughts don’t wander off readily. Which is all good. He did come a cropper about the time the meds would be taking effect, falling off our mini-tramp and whacking his elbow and head, though he is pretty accident prone, despite having good coordination generally. So I won’t get concerned about that event unless it becomes more frequent.REPORT ABUSE