To tell, or not to tell

[cheeseball]

I was recently diagnosed with ADD well into adulthood. I’m happy with where I am right now and I look back at my past with a combination of acceptance, disappointment, and compassion.

Despite there having been many signs as I was growing up, my parents didn’t see them for what they were. It made our relationship challenging, probably in many of the same ways parent-child relationships are generally challenging, but I spent a lot of of my life angry at them.

As I’ve come to understand myself better I also have more acceptance of the challenges my parents faced and my anger has subsided.

So here’s my question: Do I tell my widowed mother? My concern is that she could very well be hard in herself, which I don’t want. I would be curious to know if she’d be surprised, or have any insights.

What do you all think? Has anyone been through something similar?

Thanks

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[jmanf80]

I would say you need to ask your self , who does it benefit. If you think that it might make here look back and have regrets for some of their decisions or think things could have been so much different. I would say no. I recently was diagnosed with it also and told my son about it and I think he took it as me making another excuse. Of course I wish I would have put more thought into it.

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[pluvia13]

@jmanf80 i am very sorry to hear that the relationship to your son is put to test by this diagnosis.

@cheeseball i myself have talked to my mom about me having adhd and she was hard on herself because she saw me struggeling.. we are really close to her so it was very natural to come to her w my thoughts, but in the end i am glad that i kind of approached the topic very carfully. so .. maybe consider that as a third option.. talking to her about how you were feeling at times and if she could understand or might had similar experiences. there is no reason to blame, so dont do it for the sake of finding a “reason why you are different than others”…

• This reply was modified 5 years ago by pluvia13.

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