Took me long enough to figure this out! Thought maybe I was stupid or something

[wolfshades]

I work in a technical environment and, while I enjoyed some of the courses I had to go on, the fact was I couldn’t absorb what was being taught. Three to four hour training sessions was pretty much a guarantee I would come away with less than nothing (if that’s possible). I joke with friends that in my half hour walk to work I can pretty much write a novel in my head. It won’t make any sense or anything because the topics are all over the map. My mind basically races and races. Oh and don’t ask me to tell what I was thinking about because I can’t tell you. Someone I love dearly has often complained that I’m not paying attention when she’s talking. Fortunately she knows I love her and fortunately she forgives easily but…..

The sad thing is that, without an explanation for all of this behaviour, you come up with your own ideas. Maybe I’m stupid. Maybe I’m just disorganized (which is why I keep losing track of things). Maybe I’m just not disciplined enough.

You never realize that you might have ADD, primarily because you don’t know what “normal” feels like.

I’m grateful for this site and am hoping to learn more.

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[Anonymous]

Welcome to my world. You couldn’t have phrased it any better than that.

As this site evolves, so will you. For the short time I’ve been on here, I’ve grown exponentially.

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[Anonymous]

“You never realize that you might have ADD, primarily because you don’t know what “normal” feels like.”

Holy crap … there it is in one sentance … 58 years go by and I don’t know what normal feels like

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[wolfshades]

I guess it just matters that you find out eventually. I just got a referral from my doctor to go to the ADHD clinic to get assessed. Like many others here I took a few of the online tests – which must be acknowledged ONLY tells you that you might have it, and it would be a good idea to get assessed.

Nevertheless, the relief I’m feeling from what was formerly a series of seemingly unrelated behaviours is just too amazing.

I hesitate to do this (and the owners of this site are free to take down my comment if this is against the rules – no hard feelings) but here is my blog on my discovery: http://wolfshadesblog.wordpress.com/2010/03/02/compensating-for-the-shiny-objects/

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[veronica]

hey wolfey…. welcome and congrats. and no they won’t pull your blog link.

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[Clive]

Hi Everybody , so how did everybody ask there doctor for help ??

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[Clive]

we call my ADHD squirrel , from the dog in the movie UP

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[Anonymous]

Wolfshades, did you write that blogpost about me? I bookmarked your blog, gawdhelpme. I’ll probably spend hours reading your posts and flitting around your Blogroll. When I bookmarked it, I suddenly noticed that I have hundreds of bookmarks all neatly categorized in dozens of folders. And that’s just in IE! I also use Firefox, Safari and Chrome, and have dozens of Favorites folders in each.

I couldn’t decide where to put your site. I finally put it in “GoTo”. That’s a ‘Just Do It’ folder for me. Thanks for writing!

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[wolfshades]

Wow. Thanks everyone! I’m glad the story was useful in some small way at least.

@Clive: I don’t know about anyone else, but I just went to my regular GP and asked if she could get me a referral. She set me up with a psychiatrist who will do the assessment. It’s going to take a while before I can get in though, but what the heck – I lived my life for a long time already with this condition (or whatever you want to call it) – a few more months isn’t going to hurt.

Gave my boss a heads up on this too, which was scary. (Asked him first if he knew anything about ADHD and he said he did, very much, so I figured it was safe to tell him.). Full disclosure just seemed like a good idea, and he seems to be understanding, which is half of the battle.

Clive – I can’t believe you call your ADHD “squirrel”! That’s hilarious – I’ve seen the movie UP twice, and that distracted dog kills me every time. What an appropriate name for it! *laughing*

@rhawser: Funny you should mention bookmarks – I’ve got the same problem with my browsers too. Like you, I have multiple browsers and bookmarks that aren’t the same on any of them so when I want to find something – you can bet it takes forever.

You know what though? Despite all of the pitfalls and stumbling points – especially for those who have to deal with us – I really like having those creative thoughts all the time.

It’s like a party in my head and everyone’s either stoned or throwing up drunk, but laughing. *laughing*

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[Anonymous]

LOL @ wolfeshades. True.

BTW, I think your writing is bloody brilliant. When you were given the random subject “dirt”, how did you EVER come up with that story line? Absolutely brilliant. And I was on the edge of my seat reading the ongoing posts about The Girl. Is she for real? Or are you just making it up as a story line?? She sounds too good to be real. Because if she is real, and you let her slip away, I’m going to put your picture on the wall under the giant heading IDIOT. )

And my favorite squirrel is the one from the ICE AGE movies. That’s me.

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[wolfshades]

@rhawser: *thank you* for your comment on my writing. The DIRT story came to me when I was in the shower one morning, trying to figure out how I was going to use that word (dirt) in what I hoped would be a compelling story. As my brain tried to sort that out, I thought about the shower I was having, and then, the fact that I knew someone who was obsessive-compulsive about washing his hands. Then, back to the story, and how it had to have some sort of conflict to keep things interesting. And that’s when the story fleshed out.

The Girl is amazingly real. I say “amazingly” because quite frankly I’ve never met anyone like her in my life. Or rather, anyone who’s had an effect on me the way she has. We are polar opposites, of course: I don’t think there’s a more relaxed person than her. Which probably gives you a good indication of what I’m like.

I thought she was gone but….(don’t know if you got this far in the story), I pulled a rabbit out of a hat and we’re together.

Never saw Ice Age but now have it on one of my many lists. So hopefully I’ll see it. *grin*

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[Patte Rosebank]

“Ice Age” is amazingly funny, especially the scenes with Scrat (the sabre-toothed squirrel-rat). His scenes are silent slapstick at its best, and his little noises (by Chris Wedge, who directed the movie) are the crowning touch. I met Chris at a signing when the DVD came out, and I told him that I thought Scrat stole the show. In response, Chris didn’t just sign my DVD; he also drew a thumbnail sketch of Scrat, waving.

The year that “Ice Age” came out, my brother got me a toy Scrat on Ebay. It holds a giant acorn in its little front paws, and when you take away the acorn, Scrat frantically hops around, reaching for the acorn and making weird little noises of frustration. When you give him back his acorn, he gives a big sigh of relief. Taken out of context, those noises and sigh sound quite filthy.

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[Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD]

Everyone is pointing to a key thing I just realized in the last little while. Unless it’s a result of a brain injury, you are born with an ADHD style mindset. So this is all you know. It’s not like depression, where the person and actually remember, vaguely anyway, that they didn’t always have such a dark view of life, they used to have energy, they used to do things, they used to be able to laugh at stuff…

No wonder so many of us take medication for the first time and think, “Well, I didn’t feel any different, but everyone around me became a lot less of jerk.”

It’s not that we never knew what normal was. We just have a different normal.

When we get proper treatment, it’s like, “Oh, this is how it is for most people.”

I think that analogy of putting on glasses for the first time is one of my favourite. It’s not a perfect analogy, but it does capture that sense of, “Oh wow! Look what I’ve been missing! I had no idea.”

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[Anonymous]

“When we get proper treatment, it’s like, “Oh, this is how it is for most people.”

Or, “So this is how they do it”.

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[Anonymous]

I just found this place. All I can say is WOW. And thanks–I’m enjoying the reading and it’s helping. For years I have suspected that my father has ADHD. When I started seeing the same symptoms in myself, I suddenly realized why HIS ADHD always annoyed me so much.

I’ve never been hyperactive or prone to daydreaming. Fortunately I’ve learned some great organizational skills and ways of keeping myself on track. But it’s a struggle, almost a fight within myself. I thought that EVERYONE had to do this.

Here’s my funny anecdote: My wife taught me how to play golf when we were dating. Within four years I was able to break 80. But every spring, when we dust off the clubs and start playing again I struggle with boredom after only six holes. I have to build up my “tolerance” for the game, and it takes a month before I can play a full round without completely losing focus. If nobody’s behind us, I fish around in the lakes for lost balls. I jump down into ditches with a plastic bag and retrieve balls. My wife has learned to just walk off and leave me. Once she said I spent fifteen minutes playing in a ditch. I honestly don’t know how long it was.

Sometimes I feel as if ADD has given me some kind of a super-power. A few weeks ago I read an article explaining the term “hyperfocus” and that’s when I knew. Like many of you I’m in the I.T. field. When the heat is on, somehow I’m able to cut through the fog, static, flak (or whatever term you want to give it) and find a solution that nobody else can see. Inferior mortals (I’m kidding).

So I’m looking at this revelation as a gift rather than an aflliction. Yes, there are things other people can routinely do that I just can’t. But there are plenty of things that I can do better than anyone else.

And I haven’t paid for golf balls in years.

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[Author]

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