Trying to Get By

[sdwa]

Trying to survive financially while coping with ADHD is almost impossible. Yeah, you knew that already. I make less than $25K a year, support four people, work three days a week, and occasionally do some freelance stuff that would pay if I could get more of it, but I’m trying to do so many things, and can’t spread myself that thin. Living in total chaos. Can’t fix that. Feel like I’m drowning. Etc. I’ve gotten some ADHD coaching and gone to an ADHD support group, but I don’t have support now, and really, if it isn’t ongoing, it’s almost like I never did it. Good for morale but not of much practical value. Plus getting help is so expensive. I literally don’t have the money – it’s not like I just don’t feel like spending it. I don’t have it. It’s frustrating that so many people around this problem are making money as coaches, therapists, and authors of self-help books – but the help I’ve received doesn’t translate into ME making money, it just puts me at a greater disadvantage because I can’t afford it. I can’t afford doctors, therapists, or psychiatrists. I can’t pay for medication. I can’t pay for coaching. When I’m working on what’s important to me, I feel fine. I’m happy. But I still can’t pay my bills or solve my financial problems. I’ve also spent a fortune going back to school for more skills – and still can’t get a decent paying job. I’m afraid I’m going to end up homeless because I can’t pay my bills.

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[Scattybird]

I know what you mean. There are a lot of ADHD experts out there all making a buck or two. Obviously the good ones are good and genuine but there must be some on the make. But guess it’s the same in any field.

I am sorry to read that you are struggling.  Keep going to your support group if only for the moral support.

If you are seriously worried about paying your bills are you able to contact the people (gas, electric, whatever else) and negotiate paying what you can afford, or some token payment for a while?  That might be better than them getting annoyed and cutting you off?

I know a lot of families in the UK are struggling and it’s mostly those with jobs but who aren’t quite making enough money.  We have schemes now where people can get cheap food from back of shops – perfectly good food but maybe too near the sell by date for front of shop sales.  We even have places where people (with jobs!) can go to get free food parcels. People doing this used to feel a bit ashamed (for want of a better word) but it’s now more acceptable because it’s nobody’s fault and if their salary isn’t enough they need help.

Anyway, don’t risk losing your home, please ask for advice and negotiate lower and regular payments for utilities if you can.  Any one of us can be or is in a similar situation. Maybe people can share tips about dealing with this kind of struggle?

 

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[sdwa]

The worst part is dealing with the fear and anxiety, which makes it even more difficult to think through what might be a good way to handle the problems. I don’t know if utility companies accept partial payments. Never thought about it, but going deeper into the hole is a bad idea. The worst thing is being harassed for an entire year by a collections agent trying to collect on past due medical bills – which, if nothing else, showed me there is no point in ever seeing a doctor again, because even if there were something wrong with me, my insurance wouldn’t cover it, therefore I don’t need to know. And I don’t need insurance. They also lied and offered a settlement that they didn’t honor, which I think is illegal. I don’t know what it takes to qualify for the food bank, but my guess is that if you own a mortgage, you don’t qualify. There is no one to ask for advice – certainly no one who would give advice for free.

I feel the term “helping professional” may be an oxymoron. There are too many people out there who will tell you you’re broken and then try to get you to pay them to fix you – and if you can’t pay, you can’t get help. So your value as a human being is entirely dependent on your ability to pay.

Not that people who make money “helping” are wrong to want to survive and pay their bills just like everyone else…but we have to be careful that what they offer serves us as well as it does the people who are marketing the “solution.” I saw way too many therapists for years who were basically just helping themselves at my expense, and have completely lost respect for that profession. There is no normal situation they can’t use as an excuse to manufacture a crisis.  I’ve now lost respect for the medical establishment as well. It’s all about getting insurance companies to pay for tests and procedures. No one cares about patient health.

Anyway, thanks for the response. It’s nice just to be heard and have the situation acknowledged. It really irritates me when people are in this la-la land mentality about how if we all think happy thoughts, everything will turn out OK. Not that that doesn’t help – of course it does. But reality is what it is. Attitude won’t change it.

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[allan wallace]

*gulp* The real world is a brutal unforgiving place, eh? If only the world could somehow be aligned to my little dreamworld, that’d be perfect. There’d be no need for money, or for the financial institutions to have hitmen tracking me down, or for my name to induce cardiac arrest from the Bad Debtors Robot Reporting Corp! Down the track when I find a nice cosy park bench to live under I’ll give you the location and I’ll squeeze you in… 🙂

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[sdwa]

Yeah…it’s been pretty bad lately. I want the world to be aligned to my dream world, too, which is actually my real world. 😉

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[Takingbacktyler]

Hi Sdwa,

I am going through something similar right now. Its a struggle. I have tried a new technique that has helped a bit- I set aside times to ” worry” or to ” face the issues”… It helps knowing that at say 12:00 tommorow i will call a debtor and face it and i can worry then. I find it lingers less in my mind all day knowing it has a set time to be handled.

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