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Very angry, sad, & frustrated. Also excited. Need to vent. Input welcome.

Very angry, sad, & frustrated. Also excited. Need to vent. Input welcome.2016-02-03T11:41:19+00:00

The Forums Forums Emotional Journey My Story Very angry, sad, & frustrated. Also excited. Need to vent. Input welcome.

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    Post count: 23

    This post is autobiographical so if that bores you, skip to the end.

    Per the recommendation of a member on this forum, I’ve been taking Dexedrine for about 10 months (after switching from Ritalin, my first ADD med, which I was on for roughly two years prior.)

    On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being my regular attention, and 10 being my perfect attention, Ritalin put me to about a 5. Dexedrine put me to about an 8, but it felt like a 10, for sure when I first started!

    Lots of personal improvements came with the Dexdrine that had not precipitated the Ritalin. I started holding my back straight by adjusting my stance and gait. My back has been (and 10 months later, still is) the most satisfying series of pops. My whole life I put too much weight on my right leg and I had no idea what it was doing to my back (I could never keep my back straight or my shoulders back) even when I tried it felt forced. But when I adjusted it on the Dexedrine I gained this new sense of “body awareness” that I could tell how poor posture in other parts of my body, like my weight never being balanced equally on both feet, was affecting my back, and also my confidence.

    This felt amazing. I also became the most productive I’ve ever been at a job. I was just told by my boss that I’m doing exceptionally well and am probably getting a raise (if not I now know my work is good enough to have confidence to look for another job if they won’t give me the raise, because I know my work is worth a lot!)

    But all of that stuff is just icing on the cake! The best improvement from the Dexedrine came from my ability to use my mind more fully. When I started taking it I also uncovered this huge interest in philosophy and physics, and started taking daily walks around this beautiful park lake, and listening to original philosophical works as I walked, and thinking, thinking, listening, and thinking. I would use Audiobooks or Text-to-Speech software on my phone and just breathe in the fresh air and throw my mind into the uttermost parts of the universe and it was pure joy.

    The most joyful part was listening to or reading original works of philosophy and math, and “getting it,” better than from reading the watered-down garbage they used in my school growing up.

    But the Dexedrine isn’t working as well anymore. Lately I’ve had to drop the dose a lot, and it’s making me feel nauseous and I’m having heart palpitations. I want to try my luck with Desoxyn, but I’m apprehensive to push my doctor for it because of the stigma surrounding it. I’m not sure if my doctor trusts me implicitly yet, even though I’ve given her no reason not to, people just seem to seize up when you mention any controlled drug with confidence.

    What would you all do in this situation? Do you think I should push for a better drug or stick it out on this one? I read some really positive reviews about Desoxyn. One person said it helped them to stop jiggling their legs, which I still do compulsorily even on the Dexedrine. Several others who reviewed it said it’s the only ADD medication that’s worked for them. Here are some of the reviews I read on Desoxyn. They are pretty enlightening. http://www.drugs.com/comments/methamphetamine/desoxyn.html



    Post count: 2

    I really enjoyed reading your autobiographical post!  I’m brand new to the ADD awareness thing since I have just been diagnosed this week, and only started medication two days ago.  I can’t offer any advice on your question about medication, but I can tell you that your post has given me hope!

    I have recently become unemployed and have been looking for a new job, and getting very discouraged.  I have lots of hope that my diagnosis will help put me on a path to feeling better and more self-confidence.

    Good luck with your continued progress!


    Post count: 23

    Chip, I’m so glad my story helped encourage you. Best of luck on your journey. I hope to hear more soon about how your treatment is working.

    A little update for me. It wasn’t that the Dexedrine that was failing. It was doing its job. I had Vitamin D toxicity. I decreased my supplements and drank boat loads of water and the Dexedrine is working sell now like it used to.

    I was more nauseous (side effect of Vitamin D toxicity) on Dexedrine and it seems the Dexedrine was trying to help me by giving throw up signals. Stopping Dexedrine made my nausea go away but didn’t fix anything.

    Thankfully my doctor ordered blood labs when she switched me to Desoxyn. I was on Desoxyn for about a week before learning about my toxicity. Verdict: Desoxyn does not work nearly as well for me as dextroamphetamine.

    A word to the wise: if your doctor orders labs take them right away.

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