Well, that was disappointing (my "doctor's" visit)

[ashockley55]

I had been looking forward to this appointment for weeks, and then another week because the PA got sick and called in. I thought I was rescheduled to see the PA.

I found the place, went in, waited, and they asked me if I’d rather see a male or female. I said it didn’t matter and thought to myself, “wasn’t I scheduled with a specific person?” I should have said that out loud.

As I’m sitting there, I realized I forgot my paper where I’d written down a jumbled mess of things – memories of odd behavior in childhood, events from adulthood – that I believed pointed possibly to ADD. I tried to remember some of the things I had jotted down.

Next thing, a woman walks in, identifies herself as a nurse. There were other descriptives, apparently she’s not just a regular nurse, but I forget what those other descriptives were.

She sits down and starts asking me questions. I answer them all honestly, sometimes droning on too long, goign off on a tangent. I describe the years I spent on anti-depressants, mood stabilizers, and anti-psychotics. I disclose the hospitalization that occured several years (like almost a decade) ago. I describe how I’ve been feeling since I’ve been off all those meds (like almost two years, and I’ve pretty much been fine. No freak outs, no nut-ups, just not a whole heck of a lot of personal success and progress unless you count getting the dishes in the dishwasher, which, lately, I do count, and that’s kinda sad. I want to do more.) She asks some pointed questions about anxiety, irritability. I reveal that I have engaged in self-injury in the past. I outline my prior diagnosises: depression, OCD, anxiety, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder. Again, I was honest and forthcoming with all my responses and answers.

I wanted it all out on the table. I was hesitant to seem as if I had already diagnosed myself, or to be eager to take any medication. At some point though, she asked me what I want as a result of this visit. I say that I would like to be assessed for ADD and be treated if it is found that I do in fact have ADD.

That’s not what happened. She said she’s “not sure exactly what all is going on here.” (Though she seemed to latch onto that bipolar diagnosis pretty fast, also seemed to favor the anxiety bit.) She said she was going to put “mood disorder NOS” on her sheet, though she said she didn’t really look at labels.

She asked me if I would be interested in counseling. I said I would. Then she said that she would NOT schedule me another appointment with a doctor (or PA, or nurse, I guess – medical professional NOS, ha ha), but would schedule me to start coming in and talking to one of their counselors.

Wait, wait, wait. That is NOT what I wanted. Counseling yes, but not JUST counseling. I want to try some medication and see if I can get the life-changing relief others have talked about! But again, I didn’t want to sound overly-eager about the drugs. Had I somehow given the impression that I wasn’t interested in medication? I know I did tell her that the drugs I had taken in the past helped somewhat, but not a whole lot (yet she kept bringing up Wellbutrin and Effexor). I asked if there wasn’t an assessment that could be done for the ADD to determine if I have it. She left the room and came back with a one-sheet questionaire (sp?) and some paraphanalia (sp?) from a couple prescription drug companies, including a day planner because she “knows organization can be an issue.” These were for me to take home.

I wasn’t given any kind of assessment for ADD while I was there. I was asked basic psychiatric intake questions. I wasn’t set up with a follow-up assessment, or given any other chance to meet with a doctor. I left with a day planner, some prescription propaganda (which, why? if I’m not going to meet with the doctor again?), and an appointment with a counselor.

I feel like once I said the words “bipolar,” “depression,” “anxiety” the interview, if you will, was over. I feel like I cannot escape that diagnosis. Is depression present? yes. Anxiety? yep. But am I bipolar? No. Never have been. I don’t believe so. It just doesn’t fit. Not like everything single thing I’ve read about ADD.

What do I do? Call up there? Fill out the assessment I was given and bring it to my counselor next week and tell her I’d like to try medication?

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[Anonymous]

Reading this I can honestly say I feel your frustration for SURE!!!! You poor woman! I would be so upset too!

You for sure have gone through a lot in your life in regards to mental health. I am ADHD and yes I do battle severely with depression and anxiety! My older sister who has ADHD suffers from OCD. So yes they can go hand in hand.

I know from my experiences with appointments like that… when you are struggling so franticly with life and all these emotions and confessions, when something doesn’t go the way I am desperately hoping… I feel even more frustrated.

Don’t feel discouraged with her sending you in for counselling though. In fact you are prob being sent there so they can better assess your situation and talk to you more about your past struggles so they can properly diagnose the problem better. I am not a dr myself so I can’t say yes you have it… but from what you written I would not be surprised if you did.

Go to the counselling… be down right honest (which by the sounds of it you have no problem with… which is so awesome of you!), Hold nothing back… let them know just how upset you were with that app. With my specialists in the past it was when I was honest and held nothing back more was accomplished.

I have also had an experience where I did not mesh well with the specialist and it discouraged me enough not to go back until now… 10 years later. During those 10 years I have suffered tremendously… so I urge anyone when it comes to counselling, if you do not feel like the counsellor gets you… or is meshing well with you… it is ok to go to a different one!!!

If you feel like you want to try meds… by all means yes you should tell her that when you see her.

If you look up ADHD and read the papers dr’s have written on the subject it is very clear that depression and anxiety are often present. I have all three and am being counselled on them all.

Good on you for wanting to get to the bottom of what you have been going through. This website is so awesome for that. It is not easy when it comes to diagnosis or even with handling it all… so it is awesome to be able to write it all out and know that there are people who feel just like you are reading it and feeling your pain.

I hope the session goes well for you and that you are able to find the answers you are so desperately looking for.

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[Saffron]

I am outraged on your behalf. > You should not have to go through this kind of BS.

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[Anonymous]

You need someone to advocate for you. They aren’t listening to you.

I would suggest that you go to your GP if you are comfortable with him/her.

Write what you want to discuss on paper (one simple page). Include something like this

1. I want to tested/evaluated for ADHD.

– Have read that often ADHD is not picked up because it is similar in terms

of symptoms to other disorders

2. Based on my research and taking online test

– inattention

– reactive

– impulsivity

3. Outline current symptoms

4. Asked for the GP’s help in getting a referral and advocating for you

5. Be persistent

Trying to go through your history in one session with a nurse is not going to able

to sort this all out

Do you have a family member or friend that can go with you to the appt?

Hope this helps

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[JimC.]

Empathy for you and your mistreatment. 🙄

1) you’re the customer and 2) you told them what you wanted.

Then they sold you what they ‘thought’ you wanted/needed.

Simply pretty shabby treatment. As the others have said, take a deep breath, regroup, and let’s (yes we’re all in this together) do this again with someone who is skilled in ADD/ADHD. Bear in mind counseling is part of ADD treatment but AFTER diagnosis. She didn’t diagnose anything, but simply dismissed you and our very valid concerns.

As for couselling, I would be a bit assertive and ask the counsellor : I’ve been sent here with no diagnosis for anything, and I want ADD testing done. What can you do to help me before we both waste any more time?

Best of luck, keep us posted.

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[shutterbug55]

I have to break my rule of not giving advise. Get an advocate, and bring them to your next meeting. Gang up on them and do not leave until YOU get what YOU need.

Be polite. Be insistent. Do not give ground on your demands.

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[ashockley55]

Thanks so much for your support, advice and help ya’ll!!! I really do appreciate it. I feel so much better getting support here after my disappointment yesterday. Also, it helps not to feel like I’m crazy for feeling so disappointed!

My medicare plan through BCBS restricts what doctors I can see, and there were only two preferred providers to choose from in the book. I think at this point I would be willing to pay extra to see someone that can really give me an assessment for this! I mean, I payed $40 for yesterday, and didn’t feel like I got much accomplished, other than maybe getting a counselor I can speak to, and hopefully that will work out (the nurse did say the counselor specializes in “children with ADD, so she has a lot of knowledge”).

I don’t really know anyone around here well enough to go in with me and advocate for me, unless it was maybe my boss, who is kind of like a surrogate mother for me, lol. (Have I told ya’ll my nickname at work is Squirrel?) And she would go with me, I’m pretty sure, so maybe that is an option. Just today she held my hands and looked me in the eyeballs mothered me about another situation, lol.

We’ll see. I’ll keep trying, through all the frustration. Just hearing ya’ll advocate for me here and support me has really helped.

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[munchkin]

ashockley – don’t despair! I think many of us can share that we have had to be persistent and go through multiple appointments with various professionals to finally get a real assessment.

It’s so frustrating to feel like you’re getting nowhere, or to think that you will just be pigeon-holed as you have been in past situations. It’s only natural to fear that. Still, if you keep at it, and continue to get notes down on why you believe you need the assessment, you will be moving in the right direction.

Here’s a thread I wrote when I was going through the same thing – check it out… Hang in there!

http://totallyadd.com/forum/topic.php?id=1267

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[Anonymous]

I say take your boss! That is so awesome that you have someone like that in your life. I am a very firm believer that you can’t do this on your own! It sounds like she would be a good choice because she knows you best and she can give you that calm while you are in your session.

it can be so hard especially in your case when you have been battling with so much hurt and pain in your past that now that you feel you are somewhat at the end of the tunnel… to have that experience was just the last straw. Stay strong… have faith in yourself… and know you have a whole lot of support coming in from us on the blog!!!

munchkin is right… most of us have had to persistent and go through multiple appointments… and it IS very hard and frustrating…. but hang in there… you seem to me as a fighter… YOU can do this!

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[ashockley55]

So…..in further disappointment.

I was supposed to see the therapist today. Two hours before my appointment, just as I was getting undressed to take a shower, my phone rang and it was someone from the psychiatrist/nurse/therapist/etc.’s office. I prayed to myself “Please don’t let them be calling to cancel my appointment.” But sure enough, that’s what happened. They realized that BCBS Medicare doesn’t allow me to see their therapist. I have to see an LSW (liscensed social worker) instead. So, they cancelled the appt. with the therapist and scheduled me an appointment with their LSW for March 8th. Another week.

While I had whoever/receptionist on the phone, I explained that I was interested in medication, so I wanted to see whoever I needed to see and be assessed or take whatever steps I needed to take to look into that. The woman asked, “Did you tell (the nurse you saw last week) that?” I don’t remember what I answered, but she put me off, telling me that “if” I want to look at medicine, then I can make an appointment with (the nurse I already saw last week – um, what’s the point?) after I meet with the LSW.

Yeah, that’s the same nurse that was already in gear to put me back on another anti-depressant. Why?? I’ve already said it doesn’t help!! No thank you.

I feel like giving up on this place, and trying again somewhere else. But I will have to pay out the wha-zoo, and what if the same thing happens? What if I fail again (apparently, I failed) at communicating why I’m there?

I go in with an agenda, but, then, of course, they have their procedure, and their own line of questioning, and it just puts me off track of my objective.

I keep re-assessing, trying to figure out how I got put off onto a therapist/counselor/liscensed social worker with a diagnosis of “Mood

Disorder NOS,” no follow-up appoitments with a doctor, no follow-up assessments, and no medication.

I know that I iterated that I was “fine” without the anti-depressants and mood stabilizers and anti-psychotics I had been on before, but what I meant by “fine” was “not bipolar.” Not “hunky dory” fine.

So dejected.

I’ve already paid this place $40

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[Scattybird]

That’s so disappointing ashockley55.

Is there any chance you can email the useless nurse that doesn’t listen in advance of your next appointment and outline what you want from her.

So – I would like to try THIS drug because ….

I do not want antidepressents because ….

Or at least write it down before you see her and just ask her to read it and if she won’t comply then get her to give you a good reason on each point.

Just a thought….

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[JimC.]

What Scattybird said and…

I’d be tempted to map it all out by ‘phone or email or whatever works best. Call/email the clinic, and stating wants and needs, ask *them* to lay out the road-map from the start to the finish. Tell them you’re going in circles because they are not organized and they are costing you money. Emphasis on “they”.

I know you’re frustrated but rest assured this is a bit common not only in the ADD world but in all things medical and diagnostic. For stuff like this I keep a journal or file or at least a written record of who-what-when-where-why etc. and so when challenged (and you will be) with questions, you can refer back to the journal and simply read to them… “you sent me there already On Wednesday the 23rd with no results” or whatever. If you think you have a bad memory, trust me, theirs is worse and so you need to control the thing with a notebook or journal. Be polite but firm…don’t forget, YOU are the customer here.

I’m sure we’ll get you through this so don’t despair, just keep being persistent and positive.

Good luck and keep us posted. Jim

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[ashockley55]

Again, thanks so much guys!! I feel a lot less dejected with ya’ll’s support. Time to pull up my boot straps and lace ’em once more.

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