What to do for my next job… I need help!!

[Anonymous]

Okay, so I am 37 and wanting to find another place to work.

Right now I am managing a store and am having a hard time dealing with the owners of this small business. They don’t seem to get me (no surprise). I guess I am tired of working for them. but don’t get me wrong I love these things about my job, the co-workers except one and the owners, I love working with people and the giving proper info about the products available. I work for a jewellery shop, and I have a blast, where I have issues is the lack of respect from this boss, my complaints list is long and I am tired of having to stand up for things that are basic issues, I am tired of being critized for the really small stuff, and being ignored when I have valid points.I know I thrive on being validated and praised, who doesn’t? But what I want to know if you don’t get anything at all and its negative all the time, do you quit? Its created me to feel exhausted all the time. Which leads to lethal issues of temper flareups with the hubby and other people of family.

Now I know I am not stupid and I have a wealth of knowledge and the customers even mention this to me with the owners being around. But I never get any positive feed back from them. I ask them, but its like moving a mountain. I know what my strengths are and where I am weak but I do my best to have an even balance.. But when does a job become to toxic for a person who has ADD?? I try to be patient and there are days I don’t say anything, but then there are days I could scream. I am sooo frustrated it kills me inside bit by bit.

I have been looking for jobs and I am at the point of being lost. I want to know what to do next. I have been on jobs.ca to find out what kind jobs out there, I have done quizes online to find out what kind of jobs I should be doing, but I am issues cause the the list is long and I would like to do most of them, but how do I narrow it down?

My resume is long to and i need to have a job longer then a year.

I hate this question, where do you see yourself in 5 yrs? Alive and healthy come to mind but other then that not sure, perhaps traveling, owing my own shop? buying a house? being in the same job for that length of time. Right now I am at 1.yr and 6months. with a 2year hiatus in between. 5yrs is so far away and thing with me change much faster so like I said I don’t know, what I do know I have a passion for design, It keeps coming back, but then I find I would have to get trained, I find it a struggle to go back to school. I am Jill of all trades. but expert of none or maybe I am and don’t know it.

Well any suggestions are welcome at this point. I guess its an ADD thing and I will get through it somehow. thanks.

Sorry for the rant,

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[Anonymous]

I would start by reviewing your resume. If it’s longer than two pages, you have too much info on it. You want to be able to get your foot in the door, not have them review your entire work history in detail. That’s your job, sell yourself. Then I’d get a good head-hunter…errr recruiter to work with you.

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[Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD]

A couple of thoughts–The owners of the business have a huge stake in making it work. They’re probably terrified with the current state of the economy. Maybe they have kids or big debt, maybe this store is their life dream, who knows. But the best way to get positive feedback and acknowledgement is to offer it. Become the source of it. See if you can find something to either compliment, acknowledge or praise them for. It may be something as simple as, “You really love this store, don’t you.” Or it may be something like, “I can tell you’re stressed. This store means a lot to you, doesn’t it?” And let them talk. I know you may not be in the mood to do this, but it’s where real power lies.

Get into their world for a while. Hear what’s going on for them. Or imagine what it must be like for them.

Then imagine if you were them, what would you want in an employee?

Can you be that?

Whether you stay at this job or move on, this is an incredibly valuable practice.

For example, when we bought our cottage way back when we loved going out in the boats. A dozen or more times a day. And EVERY time my mom would say, “Make sure you have life jackets, bailing cans and paddles.” Every time. A dozen times a day. Day after day. Year after year. When I had kids of my own she still said it. It drove me crazy. I thought, “She doesn’t trust me. What does she think I am? She can’t even drive a boat, why is she nagging me?” I actually stopped going up to the cottage very much because her nagging drove me crazy. Then breakthrough came when I was in a course and I told this story, with lots of detail, and the woman leading the course asked, “Why do you think she does that? Why does she say that?” And I realized… She loves me. She can’t drive a boat. She can’t swim well. If we got into trouble she couldn’t come and help… And if anything happened to us it would break her heart.

Next time your boss is ranting about something, or your spouse is ranting about something, or your kids are off on a rant, or perhaps even when you are on a rant, consider why.

In fact, what I hear from your rant ‘Tinasha’ is that you want to stay at this store, you want to make it work, you want to be acknowledged and you want to be able to contribute your creativity. If that’s true, maybe you should be telling the people who own the store exactly that.

Right now, they may just think you’re an employee who’s lazy, stupid or deliberately sabotaging things.

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[Anonymous]

Thanks for the input.. Well I had applied for many jobs and well I got a job that I was looking for..

Rick – the part of me “supposably” sabotaging” things.. I leave that to the assistant she does that very well on her own.. LOL!!

I will say this in the last few months sales have been up and and things that I am doing are improving but I am just burnt out from it all.

I have mention it to them and the response is yeah, so? I have talked to them on many occasions on many issues but I feel there are days that I talk out of my backside and as the saying goes in one ear and out the other. I am not sure its cause I am a woman and the culture they are from?? I did some digging around from former managers and found that the same issues I am complaining about is why they left.

I know for a fact that there have been great emails sent to H.O. from customers and the only ones I hear about are the ones that complaints from staff etc, Always negative stuff, There are days that you start believing it.. Then you start questioning yourself, and it affects your daily performance and when they talk to me I tune them out. .. And when that starts to happen that is very bad. I have tired talking to them about issues that it would last for a day then revert back to the original issue and it happens so much it becomes exhausting.

But as of today I don’t give a rats backside either anymore, I found a new job and the owner seems to be on the ball, time will tell.

Thanks..

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