"What's your biggest problem or frustration with ADD/ADHD in general?

[Anonymous]

ADD is a cancer of the soul. As human beings, most of us are able to use our wills to make prudent, wise choices that benefit ourselves and others. ADD is a neurological impairment of that moral will. It not only impacts our ability to make prudent choices and do many of the things that bring success in life, it causes much self-destructive behavior—behavior we all know to be wrong and dangerous. I would even dare to go a bit further and suggest that ADD impacts our ability to love, the ultimate expression of the soul and the sine qua non of being human. I’m not sure that some who suffer from severe ADD can love at all, simply because loving always requires acts of the will. (Affection, even deep affection, is not the same thing as love.) The fact is, when our moral wills can’t function, our souls waste away. And, as a member of a species that is largely defined by that inner grace, that’s a very lonely, frustrating, desperate place to be.

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[catlover79]

My high levels of social retardation for want of a better description but then again Aspergers plays a part in that for me too…

 

Sel

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[angelicdemon]

Sure having ADHD/ADD Isn’t a walk in the park but saying it’s a cancer of the soul might be a little extreme.Yeah the self-destructive behavior can get pretty out of hand but it just takes time to learn to handle your self when you feel like your slipping.On the impact our ability to love I don’t think it makes it so we can’t.I mean all humans can love in each of our own different ways.The issue most probably run into is the expressing part,keeping promises,focusing on what they are talking about,and trying not to come off as being selfish.Other than that I think people with ADHD/ADD are the most exciting people to ever be with.We are like the ultimate mystery box.:D I know that probably if I didn’t have ADHD I would be less fun and boring to the dude i’m with now,lol.I wouldn’t trade my crazyness for anything because it can bring so much fun and happiness.When it’s a good day of course,lol.

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[blackdog]

@Anonymous

I think “cancer of the soul” is a little extreme. Also, ADHD is not a lack of moral will. Calling it that suggests that it is not a real disorder, that it is a choice we make, that we really are just being lazy.

I have plenty of “moral will”. I set out every day determined to do my absolute best, to get all of my work done, to make good on all those promises, to show up on time and be enthusiastic and sociable and a good team player, to show them all what I’m capable of.

But then stuff happens. I forget something, something goes wrong and throws me off schedule, my attempts so socialize don’t go well  and I withdraw and go hide in my shell again, my mood shifts and suddenly I’m depressed and don’t want to do anything but lie down and curl up in a ball. And I don’t feel so capable any more. I have failed, yet again.

But I did not fail because I lack morals or because my soul has wasted away. I failed because I have ADHD and, more importantly, because the other people don’t have it and don’t understand it. All they see is that I was late, I didn’t do what they asked me to do, I was unfriendly, I left my jobs unfinished so others ended up having to do the work for me…….And the thought never occurs to them that I didn’t actually plan it that way, that I might actually feel really bad that it turned out that way.

As for being capable of love, I don’t think that is determined by whether or not you have ADHD. I am not really capable of love, in the sense that I do not feel it, either in giving or receiving. At least I don’t seem to feel it the way other people do. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t take care of those around me and have genuine concern for their wellbeing. And I don’t think it is related in any way to the ADHD. More likely it is caused by early emotional and psychological trauma, or an imbalance of some sort in my brain.

I hope that you do find love and happiness in your life.  It isn’t all bad. 🙂

 

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[blackdog]

….And I just noticed the comment I replied to is 3 years old. 😐

What’s my biggest problem? There are so many it’s hard to pick just one. And I really can’t decide which one is the biggest….

And there’s your answer.

 

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[Takingbacktyler]

Its Ok Blackdog. Its a good topic.

For me believing that I can put ADD in check and having some sort of faith is key. I do have my ” no hope” days but keeping in the front of my mind that if I work every single day towards getting better I feel like i make some progress.

Dont give up the fight Anonymous.

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[angelicdemon]

I would have to say the part of ADD/ADHD i have a harder time with would be the having trouble learning/understanding.I will admit it’s kinda like I’m study retarded,lol.Doesn’t mean I’m stupid or anything just it’s really hard for me to learn and remember what I learned.Also with the understanding i’ve had times i kept asking for the person to explain better and most of the time they end up getting mad and yell. ;(

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[catlover79]

The second biggest frustration of having ADHD is that people can get really nasty when you make a mistake (that can be attributed to ADHD)…

Sel

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[blackdog]

@Takingbacktyler

Thanks. 🙂

It was more funny than anything. I used to do it a lot, so I got in the habit of checking the date. But sometimes I still forget. Especially when I see something that I just have to respond to.

It really is a good topic. I think it’s important to get things off our chests, to talk about the things that bother us the most. And see that we are not alone. There are lots of other people who have the same problems.

@angelicdemon

I know exactly what you mean. There are times when I feel retarded too. It has always baffled me, how I can be so smart and so stupid at the same time.

I actually can learn really fast (sometimes). So fast that it frustrates me that I have to wait for others to catch up.

BUT….

Then I can’t remember it later. Or I can’t take what I’ve learned and apply it. Or it turns out I missed some important detail, or got something totally wrong.

Or worse, I figure out a better way to do it and get in trouble for not doing it the “right” way. Sometimes it’s like we can’t win. 🙄

And that all leads to what @catlover79  said.

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