Worship Leader for 10 churches in 20 years…..

[Anonymous]

I don’t know if anyone will be able to help me find any answers…. I’m a gifted worship leader and musician. I hold 2 master’s degrees from great schools, and close to my doctorate in voice. Beyond that, I’m really good at motivating and organizing musicians, helping singers and choirs reach their potential, and making sound systems work well… I’m also a dynamic upfront leader… can lead from guitar and piano… everything most pastors want in a worship leader.. and I love doing it… when everything is working the way it should, there is a magical quality to it.. I’ve grown choirs of 80 and 120 singers from nothing….

I have a great family and wife, but I just can’t hold on to a job… mostly for all the reasons people with ADD don’t.. in the church, there are always 1 or 2 folks who make it their personal mission to “take me down”… they see me as a liar, unreliable and difficult… The church holds relationships above everything else, and while I’m better with meds, it’s still difficult to look people in the eye, drop whatever I’m doing and pay attention to the person, etc…

I understand I have the problem, and have worked hard to get past it, but even in my last church where I was paid a great salary, and had been on meds for a year or so only made it 8 months before the pastor let me go because he didn’t like my relationship skills… he told me I was the best worship leader he’d ever seen, but a couple of key people close to him were constantly complaining about me to him… I would go to those folks in humility and try to work things out… saying the pastor had told me they were upset… mostly their response would be to disavow anything the pastor said(oh, I’m not upset, I have no idea why he would say such a thing…), and then go right back to him complaining all the more….

So, I’m working 2 jobs now, going to school, barely able to pay the bills and I have a great church very interested in me… I’ve been very up front about my ADD with them and what it looks like… Do I take the risk of taking the job and moving my family if they offer the job????

How do I provide for my family? How do I get past the huge fear and dread of losing another job??? How do I deal with the insecurity when I have a job that I’m constantly going to screw it up somehow????

Help…..

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