Wow, Oh My God, WTF!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Hello all I am 35 years old my wife has been saying I have ADD since I have known her but i always said yeah right!!!!

When i was 30 years old I got promoted to a management position, a few months later I got married and then a few months later I had to leave my job because I was having break downs, stress, anxiety, and depression. One thing i knew it was not from my wife, but I had no idea what was going on with me. I thought I was going nuts, losing my fucking mind so I went to see my Dr. and he put me on paxil and it has let me get my mind back on tack thank god, but I left my job 6 months later as I could not go back there. I now see after finally found this website and from reading an article from Toronto star that I could not organize myself to mange this new environment as I always a hands on type of guy even growing up they took me out of regular class to put me in special ed grade 1. they had my mom and dad take me for hearing test and all kinds of tests but not ADD so now at the age of 35 I am ready to find out is this whats wrong with me? after leaving the work force I went back to school for photography. The anxiety i was feeling was so overwhelming it felt like it was going through the roof. I had to deal with the class room all over again, memories of childhood difficulties in the call came crashing down. I would feel sick 1 day before class and only feel better when the class was over. Hopefully all will come together once i get my results.

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[Patte Rosebank]

Gee, does all that ever sound familiar…except for the marriage part (I’m a confirmed singleton) and the special ed part.

I was a really brainy kid in a really shitty school that catered to the lowest common denominator. I did really, really well, because I didn’t even have to try. When I was transferred out of that school (because I was teetering on the edge of a nervous breakdown, because the other kids were nasty little beasts to me, and the teachers did nothing to stop them), I suddenly had to start really working to earn my grades, and it was hard, but I managed it for daily homework. However, I had a huge problem with procrastinating on bigger assignments. Even so, I made the Honour Roll every year in high school, and graduated with honours. University was when things really went to pieces. I could hardly sit still (sometimes, even keep awake) through lectures. So I cut many boring lectures to study early film comedy (esp. Laurel & Hardy) at Metro Reference Library. I managed to just barely earn a B.A. in English, but I still say I got my actual education at Metro Ref.

After graduating university, I had a succession of temp jobs and a couple of “permanent” ones that both ended badly and rather quickly—much to my relief, as the anxiety and depression of trying to fit into the corporate world was just too much for me.

My brother saw the article about Rick and ADD in the Toronto Star, and forwarded it to me, with a covering note that said, “This sounds just like you!” And it sure did.

I went to this website, took the online diagnostic, and scored 100%. I’ve been on medications for depression and anxiety for years, but still have all that trouble with procrastination, not finishing things, difficulty with paperwork and finances, inability to sit still, etc., and wondering why. So I printed out the printable diagnostics from the website, and I’m bringing them with me to my psych appointment tomorrow. I expect he’ll agree with me that we need to investigate this further.

So, here I am, aged 41, and experiencing my own “Wow, OMG, WTF!” moments. This is the start of an awfully big adventure…

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[Clive]

Well i have had the same issues .

I used to be in the service industry , rushing around the province repairing HVAC equipment that was great , but when it come down to doing the Maintenance stuff , the boring stuff i had no attention span , bored out of my head .

The other way i coped was that i have competed in Judo for a long time and it had become a big way of me sorting out my issues .

After a concussion in 2005 , i cant do Judo any more so i have gone down hill from there .

I am 51 and so depressed sometimes it hurts to get out of bed .

Thanks for your insights

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[Anonymous]

Welcome bro-man

All of us here have had our “Wow, OMG, WTF!” moment, but that doesn’t make yours any less significant. Lots of info and help on this site. I’ve been ‘here’ for weeks and I’m still slogging through it. Dig in!

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[Patte Rosebank]

Well, my psych believed me (a good thing), and says we need to proceed carefully (also a good thing). Having the diagnostics in-hand, and being able to discuss them logically really helped. Going on the assumption (and he stressed that at this point, it’s still just an assumption) that I’d scored 100% for Combined, he asked me about how I’d come to this assumption, what I was like in childhood, and about what led to my being on medications for depression and anxiety, and how they have and haven’t helped me. The more we discussed it, the more I realized that the depression and anxiety are just the symptoms of having to struggle to function with ADHD. So, for all this time, we’ve just been treating the symptoms, instead of finding and treating the cause. Now what?

The plan is to wean me off the Effexor XR (which will take about 2 weeks, and probably won’t be much fun), but keep me on the Seroquel. Then, I’ll start on a low dose of Ritalin in the morning, with my usual nighttime dose of Seroquel. I’ll also keep a journal of how I’m feeling and functioning for the next 3 months. During that time, I’ll talk with my brother and my parental units daily, so they can also assess how I’m doing. This is how we did it 12 years ago, when my original psych was trying to find the right medicine to treat my depression, and later my depression and anxiety.

When I told my dad about my new diagnosis, and that I’ll be going off Effexor XR and starting on Ritalin, he reacted with too much caution, as he’d done when I’d first told him I thought I was depressive. He’s very concerned about the safety of Ritalin, and the fact that there are so many stories of its being over-prescribed. He said, “The other meds are working for you, so why do you want to change things?”

Why? Because the other meds AREN’T working for me. I still have all the ADHD issues I always had, but now I know why I have them, and the possible ways to fix them.

The awfully big adventure has begun!

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[Anonymous]

I know what your saying Larynxa, once I told my mom that i was going to get tested she brought up the same as your dad but i am at the same point in my life as you I believe. I can see the “BIG PICTURE” now i would like to see the details in life.

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[Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD]

Hearing about some of the reactions we get when we tell people what we’ve discovered, or your in your case, Larynxa, that you were changing medication, I have to keep reminding myself, “They are saying this out of real concern and caring for me.”

The people who often have the biggest reaction to my stuff are those closest to me. Because they care about me.

If I tell a relative stranger I’m going on medication or that I have ADHD, they kind of shrug. They don’t care about me.

I know there’s other stuff going on as well. Often loved ones have a lot of anger and other stuff built up from things we’ve said or done over the years, (Or especially the things we failed to do.) and they are incredibly skeptical. Again, I have to remind myself, that’s okay. I can’t tell you how many people in my life were skeptical, dismissive, or whatever… and who are now accepting and supportive.

I just did what I had to do and they came around, one by one.

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[Anonymous]

I just looked at my calendar, and after Tuesday it just says WTF.

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[Anonymous]

So much to relate to here…especially your story, Larynxa. I was voted “most like to succeed” in my high school class…always a straight-A kid…and it continued into college even though I was completing my papers at 4am the day they were due. As has been said here at the site so often, so many of us get by on intelligence. And like you, Larynxa, I was into theater, music, etc. (I wonder if a different med would work better for you? Ritalin was a complete revelation to me, but the antidepressants were *not* always a help – Paxil made me into a zombie whereas it helps bro-man, which shows how different we all are…but you are clearly knowledgable about all this.)

As for my parents, I’ve been commenting all over the place here about the fact that neither of them “bought” my diagnosis or my taking medication (starting at age 35) until…Wednesday of this week – when “ADD and Lovin’ It” aired on Maryland Public Television. By pure serendipity, the ‘rents happened upon it, and because my dad likes the “Red-Green Show,” they kept watching. Next morning, I heard “We get it.” It’s a big change at age 42 – still digesting it! – and I’m still not sure what it will mean, other than a whole lot less berating.

In response to Rick’s comment, the other thing they have to deal with is, I think, a lot of guilt – even though when we were kids, “hyperactivity” was something boys had, never girls, and kids who had it “grew out of it.” Not to mention that in the 1970s, only Really Crazy People ever sought professional help, and ours was one of those families where “you don’t talk about it” if someone has a problem. Even though there is no way they could have known, they still feel badly now that they really understand and Rick’s documentary got them past the myths.

Bro-man, you’ll make it. Management may not be for you (too much d*mn paperwork for me!) but you clearly were valued as an “individual contributor.” Do get the evaluation for ADD as it could really help – good luck.

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[Patte Rosebank]

That’s funny… In my high school, I was voted “Most Likely to Marry Weird Al”. The entire universe is heaving an enormous sigh of relief that they were wrong about that.

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