Wrongfully terminated – score another point for ignorance and intolerance

[Anonymous]

Quite typical background – had ADD all my life but didn’t know it until I was diagnosed in my mid-30s. Oh well, never, EVER thought of it as a “disability.” Simply put, it was just another facet of ME, and despite finding it difficult to wait my turn in line and not yell at those who seemed to drive at a snail’s pace or think it was perfectly okay to put 25 items in the 15 items or less line (hey, don’t you know I have to BE somewhere!?!?!?), I, and my friends and family, LOVED me! I am witty, charming, amusing, entertaining, intelligent, creative, and am one of those people who you could call in the middle of the night because your nightlight burned out and you were afraid to get up in the dark and I would zip over and fix it for you. A constant overachiever, dedicated employee, and hard worker. So I would get the occasional negative criticism from my (now-ex) husband (gee, wonder why?) about not finishing things that I started or coming up with ideas that seemed crazy (yet would read about the success of Company X-Y-Z for implementing the exact idea I came up with a year earlier), but other than that life was good (aside from the now ex-husband, did I mention him?). Then, after working in the same career for more than 26 years, having received awards, letters of recognition, and several pats on the back, my world fell out from under me. I won’t bore you with the details – suffice it to say that after nine years at the same company I was laid off and began with a new employer, one which did things completely different than any company I had ever worked for. Suddenly I found myself struggling with tasks I did not understand and which no one would bother to explain. I had to drive a much greater distance than before, and with traffic being uncertain, it was almost impossible to arrive to work at exactly the same time every day. And forget about getting there early, that was a huge “no-no.” So, despite working through my lunch and staying later, I racked up negative marks for being even a few minutes late. The stress that I was under and comments like “I don’t know if you just don’t bother to listen or . . .” just made my anxiety, ADD and depression worse. NOW it WAS a disability – i mean, if you consider feeling like your heart is about to explode any second somewhat disabling when it comes to calmly performing your job. I was suddenly under the corporate microscope, my every move being watched. Then, when my psychiatrist suggested that I inform them of my disability and ask for an accommodation of being able to make up the few minutes I might be late, they poo-pooh’d me and just before staff appreciation day fired me. Honest to goodness, I have NEVER been FIRED IN MY LIFE!! For most of my life I have held two professional jobs concurrently, no problem, and suddenly I was treated as though I was an absolute incompetent idiot. I lost my unemployment hearing because the Judge, like too many others, is completely ignorant to the fact that ADD is indeed a true, honest to goodness medical condition, and deemed my job loss the result of “horseplay.” I lost my house, my dignity, my sense of self, and in June (two months after termination) I sunk into a suicidal depression that didn’t lift even slightly for three solid months. I took whatever work I could find, but became a sort of social pariah in the field I worked in as it is so tight knit and everyone knows everyone else’s business. Employers who were actually looking to hire people would delete my emails without even opening them. Yes, I can say “their loss,” but it was still devastating on my spirit. Thankfully I finally was hired in my regular profession with benefits starting a few months ago, but I am still shell-shocked, have suffered from insomnia for almost a year, and the post-traumatic stress is almost unbearable at times. Yes, I filed a lawsuit, but this is all foreign to me and who knows how long it will take. As I write this I am just numb (which is better than my constant state of angst), but believe me, I have cried more tears of anger and frustration than I knew possible. Just needed to let it out, I suppose. As a fellow ADD’r, I am not at all insulted if you didn’t finish reading this due to losing interest. ; )

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[Tiddler]

I am appalled at how badly you’ve been treated and want to say how very sorry I am that you’ve been through this.

I hope that you are getting medical help through this and that your legal struggle will be settIed swiftly and in your favour. I don’t even know where to begin in trying to understand people who can treat others in this way.

Sometimes it helps me to feel pity for those people as, at least no matter how difficult things are for me, I’m not like them and that’s a blessing.

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[Anonymous]

Thank you for your kind words, they truly are appreciated. As far as getting medical help, the answer is yes, that I have been treating actively for ADD (non hyperactive type) since 2003 with medication, and for depression and anxiety since being diagnosed in 1991. I try to be as resourceful and informed as possible and realize that it takes more than just medication – I have to constantly be proactive in my treatment (and shame on you, Montel WIlliams, for airing a show years ago that only served to promote the false belief that antidepressants are “happy pills,” used by weak people). As far as I know, medication only serves to allow me to experience a chemical balance that makes me able to function for the most part like an individual who does not have an imbalance. Yes, I know his show was ages ago and I should let it go, but I was just reminded of what a huge injustice he brought upon people with disorders of the brain. I truly think that people who are not familiar with these types of conditions are scared that they will somehow “catch something” – outrageous! I was born in 1966 and have seen so many changes and advances, yet it is shocking to think that it was only a little more than 60 years ago that we practiced color segregation – I am dumbfounded that any human being can truly feel they are superior to anyone else and have the right to treat them poorly. Thank goodness for Rosa Parks and how far we’ve come, but I just hope to see the day when discrimination stops being the parasite that it is, moving from one group of people to another.

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[Scattybird]

Hi MoQSwan – wow what a compelling post – I certainly did not lose interest in it despite my normal tendency to drift off.

The first thing that struck me was what an amazing person you are. You are clearly intelligent, good at your original job, and spirited.

It is unfortunate that the second place you worked at was full of biggoted, narrow minded idiots. None of that is remotely your fault. They are clearly so narrow minded that their brains can’t be more than one cell wide.

So you were good at your original job and now you are back in that area again. So ergo you will be good at this one too. OK it’s going to be harder because you’ve had some knocks recently.

The thing is I discovered (also due to a narrow minded but psychotic boss) that it’s easy to lose your reputation and much harder to recover it again. You must make sure that you get back to what you were and NOT where the creeps in your last place want you to be.

The problem with a law suit is it will drag on and prey on your mind. Whilst these people need a lesson and you deserve compensation, a bit of me thinks that you need to move forward positively and not have that as a constant reminder.

Bitterness (albeit very justified) can be more harmful than the AD/HD. The best retaliation is to do well in your current job so you can wave two fingers at the last bunch of creeps.

I hear what you’re saying about Rosa Parks though. We need to be brave and stand up for our rights. So if you continue with your law suit, good luck. But don’t at the expense of your mental health or current job – finding a way of educating people is a good step forward in our battle against injustice.

So, don’t lose faith in yourself. These people are not worth it – particularly as you can move forward. (You mentioned your ex-husband – do well now and wave two fingers at him too!!)

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[Author]

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