My problems with intimacy are that I like sex, when it’s intense and fast. This is okay when it’s not ‘relationship’ sex, but just casual, where everyone just wants to get off and then get on with life. Relationship sex is way harder. It takes forever – the idea of foreplay makes me cringe because it’s boring (I’d say maybe we’re doing it wrong, but it’s been that way in every relationship I’ve had and I can’t have dated all duds, right… right?). And if I can tell my husband wants ‘lovey’ long and drawn out sex, I tell him I’m not in the mood. If he’s in for a quickie, I’m usually pretty happy to do that. Since I’ve been on meds it’s been better, but I find that I need to do it earlier in the day when the meds are still going – before bedtime, my mind goes other places and usually successfully ruins my mood. It’s frustrating for both of us, but we work on it. I try to make sure he gets his relationship sex at times when I think I can concentrate on it, and he makes sure I get my quick sex. Not that we have sex all the time, but we make it work.
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