[franklin]

Blocking or deleting all cookies each session is a “big hammer”. Simpler, and very effective, is to install a browser extension called “DoNotTrackMe”. It even tells you on each page how many tracking cookies it killed! Then all legit cookies stay, keeping you automatic logins or sessions, but not the tracking stuff set by advertisers.

If you hate all ads, install Adlock Plus.

–Franklin

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[franklin]

This problem tortures me, and I still lose many hours a day on one distraction or another, sometimes on the internet, but often just fiddling with settings, trying to automate something (I’m a geek), etc. I’ve only marginally improved things at work despite timers, lists, plans, meds, and even Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, but home has improved a lot more.

At home, getting lost on the web all the time seriously hurt my family. Two solutions that work well for me are:

1. Parental controls. They are built-in to the Mac; on PC you may need to purchase parental control software — be sure it can enforce time limits. I choose to be limited to 2 hours a day max, starting at 10 am, turning off at 10 pm. The morning start time is to prevent me from “just checking” something on my way out the door to work. I know you know what I mean. The evening curfew is to give me at least the possibility of getting myself to bed before midnight (or 1, or 2…) and also to have time with my spouse. (Hint: it’s worth it. And I don’t mean nookie, although that’s nice; we have a lot more emotional intimacy now.)

My wife has the password. It annoys her a lot when I ask her to extend my time for a “legitimate” reason, i.e. working on taxes, but she’s learned to ignore my begging and just calmly tells me I can finish it tomorrow (unless it’s really true that it has to be done then — and she is rational enough to judge what’s important, not my obsessed ADD brain!) Her valid point is that if it was so important, I could have done it at the beginning of the two hours… hmmm, what a concept!

Some people I know avoid the marital costs of being in a “child/parent” role with spouse by having a non-family friend keep the password. And, that makes it even harder to talk your way into more time online, since they’re not right there in the room with you.

Once I’m away from the screen for about five minutes I find that I’m grateful to be out of its grip, the “super-important” thing I was doing suddenly seems much less urgent, and it always turns out fine that I let it go till the next day… or don’t do it at all because it was actually a waste of time (like researching the ABSOLUTE BEST price on a $20 item, for hours… Sound familiar, anyone?) The panic and desperation as the computer counts down the last seconds before it logs me off is excruciating, as I frantically try to finish typing something and hit Send, or whatever. Amazingly, I haven’t died yet, and a few minutes later it really is OK. Even though that didn’t seem possible while it was ticking down…

2. No smartphone. Face it — I can’t control myself once I get going. I have discovered that:

a) I don’t actually need to check email / news / weather every 10 minutes. Unbelievable, isn’t it? At this point, anyone who emails me regularly now knows that I won’t necessarily answer till the next day. I politely ask them to call or text me if it’s urgent (remember the olden days?)

b) It really isn’t important to Google that interesting thing that just came up  in conversation. When I used to do that I was immediately checked-out of the conversation, and often I never got back. Not good for relationships — and we all need connections!

Essentially, my advice is: unplug yourself from the computer in ways you can’t circumvent. Lock down the computer. Toss the smartphone. I am so much happier now with a dumb phone that only does calls, texts, and calendar. (BTW, the phone calendar is essential for me. My motto: “If it isn’t written down, it doesn’t exist.” The phone calendar syncs with my work calendar, so I can add an item either place and a reminder will beep on my phone. More on that in another post.)

My time management is still a disaster by most people’s standards, but even though “better” is never good enough, it is better!

Good luck, everybody.

–Franklin

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