[Rita C]

Yes, Dear, you very likely have ADHD. ADHD is a physical and very real disorder, having to do with a difference in the areas of the brain responsible for our “executive functioning”. That includes, in no particular order, your decision-making process (or lack thereof, in my case); your time-sense; your ability to prioritize, like, anything; your ability to dig in and start a new thing and then, separately, your ability to focus in and finish it; your ability to sleep and even to get yourself to bed… and a host of other things. I tell people that I have no filter, in several senses. I say what comes into my mind; I can’t seem to choose what to focus on, what to zero in on, all sounds, in fact, almost all sensory input is front and center in my brain. I can hear the smallest snatch of music, and if I know the words to it, it will be in my head for hours to days. Tags on shirts, itchy underwear, cold feet, and “white noise” are all very distracting to me. I have dry mouth from my medication, and it about makes me crazy on some days, and can actually keep me from being productive. “Trying Harder” and “Having More Willpower” are junk that have nothing to do with anything.

Women and female children handle their ADHD differently than men and boys. We were less likely in school to act-out, but more likely to stare out the window. We typically came up with coping mechanisms fairly early, like you did, and found a way whereby we could learn new material. In college, for me that meant scribbling my notes and drawing the sketches as quick as I could during lecture, and then at home later, re-writing all my notes into a my other cleaner and more organized notebook. For me, writing puts things into my head better than hearing alone, or reading. (And far better than typing. There’s nothing like a pencil to learn new things!)

If you want chaos to continue to reign, keep doing what you’re doing! But if you want to improve the abilities I listed, and all the others, then getting your official diagnosis is crucial. See a professional who does testing and mental assessment regularly. Be sure they know ADHD when they see it, that they live in the 21st century where adults really DO have ADHD. Because we don’t “outgrow” it. Because it’s a physical difference in our brains, we can’t outgrow it. We can learn excellent coping mechanisms, though, if we work at it, like you did in school. ADHD is a disability – so your workplace is required to make reasonable accommodation for your style of working. They don’t have to accept a slacker – but if you are able to focus better in a quiet place than a loud one, then you should have at the least a quiet corner to work. If you need noise around you, they should let you work in an open setting. There are many ways to cope, for any given issue that just doens’t otherwise work for you.

As to medications, they can help your ability to focus, but they don’t fix everything for us. We still need to do the work to find the ways that we can achieve success. Because we CAN succeed, if we can figure out what is not working and replace it with something else that does work.

Good luck to you! The struggle is real — but we can find ways not to struggle, if we work at it.
~ Rita C, Michigan.

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