I started on Welbutrin (generic) back in August. Two hours after I took the fist dose my mind went quiet for the first time in my life. I was totally freaked out but in a good way. To be totally in the moment is a very, very rare thing for me. I stopped making mistakes, i was able to follow through on tasks, reports etc. It was heaven for about three weeks. Then i started making mistakes again, transposing numbers in an accounting job is not a good thing so the doctor upped the dosage. I was still having panic attacks and still having trouble sleeping. After another three weeks I started making mistakes again but the temp job I was on ended. Unfortunatly my body chemistry is such that 12 hour meds do not last 12 hours and I get used to any long term medication. A couple of weeks ago I stopped taking it because the side effects were worse than the small benifit I was getting. I have decided that I have had ADD all of my 58 years and I have lived with it with some success and now I can learn to deal without the meds. The meds are supposed to be training wheels anyway not a long term solution (with some exceptions i’m sure).
Decide to be happy! Being happy is the best medicine for any situation. And being happy is an inside job, no one else is going to do it for you! No one else can reach inside you and make you happy. They may do things that increase your happiness and make you feel good. I know. Before I discovered this truth, and it was very, very recently, I could be in a room full of people that were there just for me and still feel alone and unloved and unhappy. Now I can be in a room by myself and be happy and feel loved because I love myself. I have forgiven my self for trying to fit this star shaped peg in the round and square and trianglular holes. I have let go of the guilt and anger, you can’t change the past. I have started doing things that I had given up because of overwhelm and it has increased my happiness. I have the power to shape the rest of my life on my terms in spite of the ADD. Now if I could just find my car keys and my list…. 