Re: 'God' is punishing you

[Anonymous]

So in addition to wrapping your head around your depression and your ADD, you have to also contend with the fact that an omnipresent being felt the need to ‘strike’ you down? I tell you, the more I read these forums, the more I want to hug people and say, “The fact that you brush your teeth everyday is an accomplishment!” Lack of support is one thing, but to be completely emotionally neglected and verbally abused instead of being supported in your diagnosis and treatment. Insane. My father is still trying to absorb my diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder and ADHD. He’s 60, so he’s got the mindset that mental illness is a ‘product’ of something. When I took him out to dinner to discuss my diagnosis, he said “I don’t understand, you weren’t abused as a child. We didn’t lock you in a closet or beat you.” Years later, he asked me if my psychiatrist and I had a game plan “You know, for when you can stop taking medication.’ I feel like these attitudes and things like “It’s a made up disease” are the main culprits in why people either quit taking medications or don’t get help in the first place. The shame and the stigma keep us noncompliant. The problem with it being all in your head is that it is all in your head!

I combat the problem with my sarcasm and humor. I tell my dad that my ‘illness’ is hereditary so “I”m not the only nut in the tree.” I have told him that the fact that I have a diagnosed mental illness means that quite literally I can get away with murder, etc. I know that he’s saying things to me based on just a general ignorance to what things like ADHD mean, and because parents, spouses, family members often see these things as a failure on their part, or an excuse. I can’t tell you how many times, after people learn about my struggles, I get the response, “But you seem so…NORMAL.” of course, after that, they cringe anytime I ‘act out’ as though I’m going to flip over a table or open fire. I tell people all the time “My anger has nothing to do with ‘not taking my meds’ and everything to do wtih you being a dick!” It’s a challenge, everyday, but remember that you are fighting the good fight and when all is said and done, you being okay with you is the ultimate goal. You can’t explain to people what’s going on in your brain, but I’ve found that for ever 5 people who put you down or doubt you, there are 2 people who will support you and love you, and to be honest as time goes on, we’ll all realize that there are more of ‘us’ than there are of them. Then what will they say? If this was some sort of curse from God, I’ll take it over any of the other things out there. Hands down.

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