Re: Dealing With Bullies

[Anonymous]

Hmm. Bullying. I have been the victim a few times, but have found the only way to get out of it is to stand up for yourself. The bully in high school who tormented me regularly finally interrupted my hockey practice one day, and got quite rough with me, and I (in a frustrated impulsive move) turned around and whacked her across the thighs with my stick under the pretense of going for the ball. We both ended up in trouble, but nothing could be proved so we just got a good talking to. She left me alone after that, and her best friend ended up being quite friendly to me in the following years.

I have found the same with patients who get nasty. Most of the time, if you refuse to tolerate their behaviour, tell them so, and walk away, then you generally earn their grudging respect and they are better behaved for you. Not all the time, as some people have other issues which cause their behaviour and nothing on the planet will make them think about what they are doing, but many are just taking their miserable life out on others because they can.

As for work place bullying, I realise that sometimes it can be done in such a way that nothing can be proved. I worked with a girl who wouldn’t talk to me unless it was to pass on a request from a patient. As we were the only two nurses on our ward for 10 hours at a time, it made things very uncomfortable. And my boss told me that as I was the girl’s immediate superior, I should deal with it. I just let it go, considering that if she wished to try and make my nights at work miserable, then she mustn’t be very happy there and would soon move on, especially if I refused to take the bait and let it get to me. I continued to joke around with the orderlies and patients as if I had no cares in the world, even though I really hated coming to work, and sure enough, she left shortly afterwards.

Not that the above will always work, and is by no means the perfect solution, especially if you have to deal with depression, or other issues, and bullying just puts you over the edge. But it’s certainly made me into a stronger person, and I feel better able to cope should it happen to me again.

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