Re: I don't know what to do with my life

[Anonymous]

can i ask you all a brief question? what if i take the wellbutrin and it does not work? i’m nervous about taking it and i’m nervous about not taking it. this indecision is really killing me….what should i look for if i do take this med? i know i mentioned how intuniv for my son was a miracle… but as with all meds there are side effects. i’m trying to think or visualize what being on ADHD meds will be like for me…. in my mind’s eye, i can see that my house will sparkle and smell good with cleanliness, my paperwork won’t be stuffed in closets and in piles and plastic bags, i will be on time for everything, i will have enough time in the day to actually accomplish looking for work, interviewing and getting a job…i will also have time to just go get a cup a joe and enjoy my breaktimes once i do go back to work instead of cramming all my to-dos in my lunch hour and breaktime….this will make me very happy….i know that this is asking for a lot…. but this is what i want….how do i? when do i start? right now i’m sitting thinking and typing, happy to communicate with people in this forum, but i want to SO jump start and get OUT of my rut…i willing to take suggestions because i am motivated but i can’t see past this weird feeling in my brain of being so overwhelmed and i am not doing anything about it….just venting my thoughts……am i being unreasonable? am i being unrealistic? my husband tells me a lot when he does want to support me that i tend to bite off more than i chew that i baffle myself with my own bullsh’t that i run out of gas and i just STOP. he does not tell me a in a neg fashion or try to hurt my feelings but he said it so right on that i really agree with him on this one…. i just can’t get past this. not looking for counseling… don’t want to. just want to talk to regular people not a shrink. my doctor who prescribed med because I ASKED for it without knowing the full implications of what this med does. i am being driven to ask for meds becauise i do not know what else to do and i am so tired of being exhausted all the time and trying to roll this huge boulder up a hill like Sisyphus (i love Greek mythology!) that managing my household is slowly but surely grinding to a halt. i just want to roll up into fetal position but i am using every single shred of my willpower not to. i am depressed because i am not being productive.

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