Re: yeah, that's a felony.

[Anonymous]

my dad actually is an attorney… he’s been helping me, but he moved to the other side of the country about a year ago, so there is only so much he can do to help right now.

the first time I had to appear in court I mistakenly went to the main courthouse instead of the venue on the other side of town – thankfully I was an hour early there just to make sure I wouldn’t be late, because once I figured out that I was in the wrong place I first wandered around in a tearful panic for ten minutes until by some miracle I bumped into a friend who literally put me on the correct bus. I walked into the courtroom not even a minute before proceedings began and had to sit through every other appearance until, at last, when it was my turn I stood up in front of the judge by myself, clutching my application for a public defender, because I didn’t understand that I was supposed to turn it back in after I had filled it out. from that point it only got worse. she literally wouldn’t believe a single word I said and repeated every question at least three times: “You’re thirty?” Yes, ma’am. “You’re THIRTY?” Yes, ma’am, I am. “Thirty.” Yes, I am thirty years old. I was born in 1981. She also refused to take me at my word that I fall well below the income guidelines that qualify me for representation by a public defender, and required me to provide proof, whereas every other person appearing that day was taken at their word. the whole time I wanted to ask whether she knows the first thing about ADHD, because if she did, every single thing about my case and my lateness and my apparent immaturity at the age of thirty would make perfect sense. instead I just hung my head. (all of this took place without the help of any medication. hopefully it is clear that I am far more organized when I have medication available …not that it is the only/whole solution, but I am fortunate in that it helps me tremendously.)

ANYWAY… yes, finally I have been appointed a public defender and so far she has been very understanding and helpful. she also offered to speak with my doctor to back me up regarding the fact that (although the rest of my life has always been a huge mess) I have never had any legal trouble whatsoever prior to this. so, it sounds like I’ll mostly just have to spend a year or two peeing in a cup, which is absolutely no problem, and then it will be taken off of my record and when I finally finish school I can (hopefully) still get a job as a social worker at the Veterans’ hospital in my town. …all I want in the world is to keep my symptoms managed well enough that I can consistently contribute something good to my community, while also regularly balancing my checkbook, doing chores at home, and listening without getting distracted while my loved ones speak to me. for a lot of people this is just “living” but for me it is something to strive for every day.

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